People want to treat the symptom rather than the underlying cause. It's easier but far less effective. Sometimes we as parents, colleagues, and partners forget

People want to treat the symptom rather than the underlying cause. It's easier but far less effective. Sometimes we as parents, colleagues, and partners forget that people sometimes have reasons (even if ones we don't understand) for doing things that don't line up with our own. We think people ought to act like us—after all we are the most reasonable people we know. :) I've found in both my parenting and my professional life that remembering to ask the question "Why are you doing X?" or "What led you to take action X...": "Whether "X" is a commit or a strange habit, or even a destructive action more often leads to productive discussion. Sometimes, the other person's perspective can be interesting and informative.