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Anywhere young people, booze, and partying mix, this sort of thing happens, so I don't see why the author sees it as a sign the OSS community, in particular, is

Anywhere young people, booze, and partying mix, this sort of thing happens, so I don't see why the author sees it as a sign the OSS community, in particular, is "the epitome of a hostile misogynistic work environment". Further, to publicly name the guy over this seems harsh. I don't really see what he did as a big deal. I've probably done similar things many times, as well as having similar done to me. If you're drinking with members of the opposite sex, have some rapport, kidding around, etc., then slapping a butt, putting a hand on a thigh, etc., is usually cool. Why the need to tell the entire world, probably ruining the dude's career?

sofuture 16y ago
Was going to vote you up for your first paragraph...
- deleted 16y ago
  [deleted]
tptacek 16y ago
She said no, then he touched her. Your opinion of the seriousness of that is irrelevant; the action we're discussing is, depending on subtle icky details, either a serious misdemeanor or a felony. In no interpretation of the story we have is it not a crime --- one with a name, and everything.
bigiain 16y ago
Seriously? Are you reading the same blog post I am? "He grabbed me, pulled me in to him, and kissed me. I tried to push him off, and told him I wasn’t interested (I may have been less eloquent, but I don’t think I was less clear). He responded by jamming his hand into my underwear and fumbling." If you've "done similar things many times" you _are_ part of the problem, and are prabaly lucky not to be in jail for it.
- featherface 16y ago
  I don't know what "jamming his hand into my underwear and fumbling" even means - did he penetrate her with three fingers right through her underwear (was she not wearing pants/skirt?), or was he playing with an exposed thong T-bar, or something else? By something "similar" I mean I've been "rejected" by girls before, and not immediately raised my hands in submission and backed off. E.g., talking to a girl, tried to make out with her, and she said no, depending on what I thought, I might, say, keep a hand on her thigh, or playing with her pantie line. Not a perfect match, but I could definitely see someone wanting to make a big deal twisting that into something along the lines described here. I could be wrong, and this guy could have committed the very worst interpretation of what the author described. But I doubt it, because the article seems like it's written for maximum effect.
  - maxawaytoolong 16y ago
    The logistics of the story as written didn't make much sense to me, either.
    - deleted 16y ago
      [deleted]
  - Anechoic 16y ago
    I don't know what "jamming his hand into my underwear and fumbling" even means Is there any context/interpretation/way of which some dude jamming his hand into your underwear and fumbling after being told you weren't interested in such a thing wouldn't be considered highly invasive? Jesus H. Christ, only in the geek community can people be outraged at backscatter machines and TSA patdowns, and then try in rationalize sticking your hand down a woman's pants despite her protests. Disgusting.
    - featherface 16y ago
      Is there any context/interpretation/way of which some dude jamming his hand into your underwear and fumbling after being told you weren't interested in such a thing wouldn't be considered highly invasive? Using the words "jamming" and "fumbling" are interpretations. See the examples I gave above for, IMO, more benign actions which could be interpreted that way. Jesus H. Christ, only in the geek community can people be outraged at backscatter machines and TSA patdowns, and then try in rationalize sticking your hand down a woman's pants despite her protests. Disgusting. Go ahead, down mod me. Huh? I'm the only possible candidate for "rationalizing sticking your hand down a women's pants despite her protests", and several people have disagreed with me. So no need to act like a martyr. :)
lhnn 16y ago
I think calling him out publicly by name was too much, and that she should have filed a restraining order or charges against him if she thought it was that traumatic. Again, not excusing what he did, it was stupid as all get-up, but he was probably plastered and thought he was being adventurous. Also, if a woman did this to a man, he would have said "whoa whoa whoa, now... no thank you" and walked away, and nothing would have been said.
- wnoise 16y ago
  > if a woman did this to a man, If some women did this to some men, ... Your sense of outrage should not rule her bodily autonomy.

sofuture 16y ago

Was going to vote you up for your first paragraph...

deleted 16y ago
[deleted]

tptacek 16y ago

She said no, then he touched her. Your opinion of the seriousness of that is irrelevant; the action we're discussing is, depending on subtle icky details, either a serious misdemeanor or a felony. In no interpretation of the story we have is it not a crime --- one with a name, and everything.

bigiain 16y ago

Seriously? Are you reading the same blog post I am? "He grabbed me, pulled me in to him, and kissed me. I tried to push him off, and told him I wasn’t interested (I may have been less eloquent, but I don’t think I was less clear). He responded by jamming his hand into my underwear and fumbling." If you've "done similar things many times" you _are_ part of the problem, and are prabaly lucky not to be in jail for it.

featherface 16y ago
I don't know what "jamming his hand into my underwear and fumbling" even means - did he penetrate her with three fingers right through her underwear (was she not wearing pants/skirt?), or was he playing with an exposed thong T-bar, or something else? By something "similar" I mean I've been "rejected" by girls before, and not immediately raised my hands in submission and backed off. E.g., talking to a girl, tried to make out with her, and she said no, depending on what I thought, I might, say, keep a hand on her thigh, or playing with her pantie line. Not a perfect match, but I could definitely see someone wanting to make a big deal twisting that into something along the lines described here. I could be wrong, and this guy could have committed the very worst interpretation of what the author described. But I doubt it, because the article seems like it's written for maximum effect.
- maxawaytoolong 16y ago
  The logistics of the story as written didn't make much sense to me, either.
  - deleted 16y ago
    [deleted]
- Anechoic 16y ago
  I don't know what "jamming his hand into my underwear and fumbling" even means Is there any context/interpretation/way of which some dude jamming his hand into your underwear and fumbling after being told you weren't interested in such a thing wouldn't be considered highly invasive? Jesus H. Christ, only in the geek community can people be outraged at backscatter machines and TSA patdowns, and then try in rationalize sticking your hand down a woman's pants despite her protests. Disgusting.
  - featherface 16y ago
    Is there any context/interpretation/way of which some dude jamming his hand into your underwear and fumbling after being told you weren't interested in such a thing wouldn't be considered highly invasive? Using the words "jamming" and "fumbling" are interpretations. See the examples I gave above for, IMO, more benign actions which could be interpreted that way. Jesus H. Christ, only in the geek community can people be outraged at backscatter machines and TSA patdowns, and then try in rationalize sticking your hand down a woman's pants despite her protests. Disgusting. Go ahead, down mod me. Huh? I'm the only possible candidate for "rationalizing sticking your hand down a women's pants despite her protests", and several people have disagreed with me. So no need to act like a martyr. :)

lhnn 16y ago

I think calling him out publicly by name was too much, and that she should have filed a restraining order or charges against him if she thought it was that traumatic. Again, not excusing what he did, it was stupid as all get-up, but he was probably plastered and thought he was being adventurous. Also, if a woman did this to a man, he would have said "whoa whoa whoa, now... no thank you" and walked away, and nothing would have been said.

wnoise 16y ago
> if a woman did this to a man, If some women did this to some men, ... Your sense of outrage should not rule her bodily autonomy.