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>Is there a way for people to learn to be good negotiators? Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss is the best book on negotiation I’ve ever read, and it’s a

>Is there a way for people to learn to be good negotiators? Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss is the best book on negotiation I’ve ever read, and it’s also pretty entertaining. I negotiate a lot at work, and that book helped me quite a bit. The negotiation style he advocates, aside from being effective, is also very personable. Which is great if you don’t have the stomach for the (less effective) sleazy and aggressive styles.

Casseres 8y ago
Thank you for the recommendation. Does the book offer any suggestions on how to practice the ideas that might be presented to the reader? I know there's a lot of books out there which admittedly I haven't really looked into, but my concern is that in the US, it would be hard for the average person to actually find an opportunity to negotiate.
- AmericanChopper 8y ago
  Absolutely. The book is essentially about communication strategies, presented in a way that relates to negotiation. But the strategies are useful in so many contexts. We actually negotiate all the time, any time we’re settling a difference of opinion, ask for something, have something asked of us, we usually end up negotiating. My girlfriend and I both use the strategies any time we ‘argue’ or disagree, because they’re really just about communicating towards and amicable outcome.
shostack 8y ago
Any key takeaways?
- AmericanChopper 8y ago
  All of the strategies he outlines are so good that it’d be hard to summarize in a HN comment, but I think it comes down to having an effective dialogue. You need to understand your counterpart and what it is that really motivates them, and you need to create trust between yourself and them. The guy used to be an FBI hostage negotiator, so he’d typically be aiming to get everything in exchange for nothing. I can’t do it justice really, but it’s a book I’d recommend to anybody.

Casseres 8y ago

Thank you for the recommendation. Does the book offer any suggestions on how to practice the ideas that might be presented to the reader? I know there's a lot of books out there which admittedly I haven't really looked into, but my concern is that in the US, it would be hard for the average person to actually find an opportunity to negotiate.

AmericanChopper 8y ago
Absolutely. The book is essentially about communication strategies, presented in a way that relates to negotiation. But the strategies are useful in so many contexts. We actually negotiate all the time, any time we’re settling a difference of opinion, ask for something, have something asked of us, we usually end up negotiating. My girlfriend and I both use the strategies any time we ‘argue’ or disagree, because they’re really just about communicating towards and amicable outcome.

shostack 8y ago

Any key takeaways?

AmericanChopper 8y ago
All of the strategies he outlines are so good that it’d be hard to summarize in a HN comment, but I think it comes down to having an effective dialogue. You need to understand your counterpart and what it is that really motivates them, and you need to create trust between yourself and them. The guy used to be an FBI hostage negotiator, so he’d typically be aiming to get everything in exchange for nothing. I can’t do it justice really, but it’s a book I’d recommend to anybody.