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My dad made me buy him some hole filling putty with my pocket money after I did this to his workbench at an age where I really should have known better. Apparen
by strken 8y ago
My dad made me buy him some hole filling putty with my pocket money after I did this to his workbench at an age where I really should have known better. Apparently you're meant to clamp an offcut between the piece you're drilling into and the bench.
- Waterluvian 8y agoIn retrospect do you think your dad's approach was an effective teaching method? I'm slowly trying to figure out what kind of disciplinarian I'm going to be with my boys.
- vidanay 8y agoDepends if it was accompanied by insults and derision (bad) or patience and understanding that it is a learning opportunity and mistakes need to be rectified (note I didn't say paid for)
- manyxcxi 8y agoThis is the approach I (try, and try and try and try) to take with my kids (6,4,2). I repeatedly tell them I will never be mad at them for mistakes, but they have to help fix them- whatever that may be. I also tell them I will get mad if they do it on purpose and/or I’ve instructed them not to do said thing that caused whatever issue. I try very hard to be explicit with instruction. Saying “be careful” doesn’t mean a whole lot, but saying “pour the water slowly and with two hands” can lead to a good result. Or “don’t jump off the couch because [insert reasons]”. Frankly, they’re young and even when they’ve done something on purpose or are being bratty I try to coach them up again, sometimes I lose it and get mad- but I never use derision or name calling. Losing it is usually just “Why? WHY?! Why did you just pull the step stool out and use the Christmas tree as a punching bag after I told you to stay back because it will fall over?!” I use my logic brain to try and rationalize myself into a calm state, “well you told them to be careful with the jug of water, you didn’t say don’t pour it all over the dining room table”. Man, they find some awesome ways to make a disaster sometimes...
- gilbetron 8y agoI told my son I would never be made at him for a mistake, then he mistakenly tried to kick my hand while wrestling and his heel nailed my jaw and I bit hard into my bottom lip. I was so mad ;) But generally, yeah, I talk to him about stuff and go over consequences and empathy and such, and I agree it works pretty well.
- Waterluvian 8y agoThis is a treasure trove of wisdom. Thank you for sharing. The challenge I have is my hard wiring for anger with pain. I'm a goofy dad but when my toddler swings his skull full speed into my jaw, a spark ignites something in me and my civilized brain can muster one thing: put him down, go to the garage, and kick a garbage can. Otherwise I have this uncorked rage and I feel scared with it. I'm not proud of it but I acknowledge that it's in my wiring.
- deleted 8y ago[deleted]
- nl 8y agoIt's ok to go kick a garbage can sometimes. Raising kids is hard enough without feeling bad for damaging garbage cans. Pro-tip, though: don't kick walls. Broken toes suck.
- Waterluvian 8y agoA stud once every 16 inches? I like those odds!
- strken 8y agoIt was more effective than just grounding would have been, since it had a certain fairness to it. He also helped me apply the putty, and gave half my pocket money back after it was fixed "because the jar was still half full", which is kind of funny in retrospect. It's probably easier to create teaching moments when your kid does something negligent or thoughtless, rather than downright malicious.
- SHAKEDECADE 8y agoThat’s awesome. Your dad had a good head on his shoulders during those moments. Cudos. update:spelling
- bradknowles 8y agoDid you mean “kudos”? ;)
- paulie_a 8y agoCompletely unrelated but since you are asking about teaching methods. My father did this regarding food. If eventually it turns out my sister and me didn't like a particular thing recipes were adjusted. But to make us kids at least try, if we didn't finish our meals or we're being picky. He would put the plate on the counter and make us stand there until we finished. It was effective. It wasn't cruel, it was simply a method of making sure I finished my meal and tried new things. A solid balance in my opinion.
- sandworm101 8y ago>> method of making sure I finished my meal That approach has been linked to the obesity crisis. MacDonalds knows all about it, the need to finish what is given to you regardless of whether you are still hungry. They observe the lengths customers go to get that last fry at the bottom of the container. We should at least consider teaching kids today to not eat everything on the plate every time. Perhaps they should learn to stop on their own.
- majewsky 8y agoCome to think of it, that may explain some of my serving sizes. When I eat at Subway, I always take the 6" size and it satiates me. When I eat a pizza, I eat the whole thing and I'm not satiated before I've finished it, even though it's vastly more filling than a 6" sub.
- mrhappyunhappy 8y agoDo like the Japanese, stop when you feel 80% full, let the brain catch on the the fact that you Are no longer hungry.
- chrisdhoover 8y agoYes