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> Is it normal that I don't have close friends and that I'm solitary? This is quite a common narrative. But it is also very easy for it to become a self-fulfil

> Is it normal that I don't have close friends and that I'm solitary? This is quite a common narrative. But it is also very easy for it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't believe that it is easy to make friends, it will be harder to make friends. People are social creatures. Smile, laugh, enjoy yourself, and celebrate the people around you; and you will have friends. > Am I missing out on anything? Probably, but such is the narrative of life. If you're concerned about unknown unknowns, then do more scary things. If you like programming and art, try skateboarding or maybe join the debate team and do some public speaking. Just do different stuff. You don't have to abandon the things you like, but you have to make time and space to push yourself into places that are uncomfortable. > What hobbies do you advise me to adopt that I can do in a group, with camaraderie? Anything with a group of individuals who are working together. Team sports, band, some ROTC, debate, school newspaper, . I would also caution against the impulse to be "better" than everyone else. Camaraderie comes from working together as a team, not from being better than your teammates. There is enough available success in the world to go around. There's no need to step on people to get there. > Will college be the same or different than high school? Both. People will still come in all flavors. The amplitudes of their behaviors will likely be different than what you're used to, but the same behaviors will be there. > Can I have the same kind of youthful fun when I'm an adult? Depends on how you define "youthful fun" and "adult". The available options of a 70 year old person are much more physically limited than a 17 year old person. And there is some continuous curve that links those two points. But at 70, you've had a lifetime to accumulate wealth (and maybe some time to blow it too), so the 17 year old may be more financially limited than the 70 year old. Do what you can with what you have.

TheAsprngHacker 8y ago
Thank you for your advice. In the past, I didn’t care about joining other clubs and only cared about my programming hobby. Now, I think that I should be more well-rounded and pick up other activities, especially ones in which I am more likely to find companions. I will find an interesting club to join. w.r.t being better than others - I go to a school with a strong academic culture. In absolutely no way do people put each other down, not at all, but I feel like there is an underlying motivation to have good ECs to make oneself attractive to colleges. In particular, you mentioned the debate team, which, at least at my school, seems to me like a highly competitive club that boosts college applications. I feel extremely cynical about the culture of people padding college applications, so I had decided previously to ignore clubs and only pursue my passion of programming to be “true to myself.” However, now I feel a desire to join a club out of genuine pursuit of happiness (as opposed to boosting an application). I hope that I will find a club with a passionate and genuine culture, without competitive people. Before, my mother had told me that I should have activities outside school that I could show for. Part of it was for colleges, as I would have a hard time competing with others if I didn’t do much outside school. However, my mother also said that part of it was being a fuller person. I used to feel frustrated because I felt like she wanted me to do stuff just for college, a motivation that I felt was “phony,” but now I see what she meant about being more active in general.

TheAsprngHacker 8y ago

Thank you for your advice. In the past, I didn’t care about joining other clubs and only cared about my programming hobby. Now, I think that I should be more well-rounded and pick up other activities, especially ones in which I am more likely to find companions. I will find an interesting club to join. w.r.t being better than others - I go to a school with a strong academic culture. In absolutely no way do people put each other down, not at all, but I feel like there is an underlying motivation to have good ECs to make oneself attractive to colleges. In particular, you mentioned the debate team, which, at least at my school, seems to me like a highly competitive club that boosts college applications. I feel extremely cynical about the culture of people padding college applications, so I had decided previously to ignore clubs and only pursue my passion of programming to be “true to myself.” However, now I feel a desire to join a club out of genuine pursuit of happiness (as opposed to boosting an application). I hope that I will find a club with a passionate and genuine culture, without competitive people. Before, my mother had told me that I should have activities outside school that I could show for. Part of it was for colleges, as I would have a hard time competing with others if I didn’t do much outside school. However, my mother also said that part of it was being a fuller person. I used to feel frustrated because I felt like she wanted me to do stuff just for college, a motivation that I felt was “phony,” but now I see what she meant about being more active in general.