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Explaining why implies you're on their level, or close enough, which is poison to some people. If you are on their level, you could, conceivably, disagree with

by msla 8y ago

Explaining why implies you're on their level, or close enough, which is poison to some people. If you are on their level, you could, conceivably, disagree with them, which would marginalize their authority over you. However, if you are forced to do things because of a "Because I Said So" mandate, well, you can't possibly disagree with an argument if an argument is not presented, hein? The corrosive effect this has on the ability of the people in nominal charge to come up with arguments is never discussed, but becomes all too obvious when a social factor, such as a religion, loses a "Because I Said So" mandate it once had over society as a whole: The representatives of that religion, accustomed as they are to being able to dictate terms, are incapable of forming a cogent argument in favor of their position. They either rant and rave about how the world is ending, because, from their perspective, it is, or they come up with things which sound like arguments but which have holes in them a child could see through, and many children do. Dictatorship weakens the dictators. So mote it be.

james_s_tayler 8y ago
Actually that's kind of an interesting point. Don't know why you are getting down voted for bringing up an important dynamic about dictatorships in the nuclear family. But is it the cause or is it the effect? Do some parents not know how to communicate positively and so they just shout the kids down (which still leads to a shouting match, just not a productive one) or do they start out with the ability more or less and then when they use the shouting down technique they find the short-term reward beneficial and it starts to become their go-to tactic to the point where they don't know how to not do it because it has become so automatic and to suddenly start going in the reverse direction would be seen as weak and they just can't have that? It's kind of interesting watching Super Nanny when they have these extreme cases and she makes the parents change tack to more reasonable styles of communication and the kids improve dramatically and quite fast.

by msla 8y ago

james_s_tayler 8y ago

Actually that's kind of an interesting point. Don't know why you are getting down voted for bringing up an important dynamic about dictatorships in the nuclear family. But is it the cause or is it the effect? Do some parents not know how to communicate positively and so they just shout the kids down (which still leads to a shouting match, just not a productive one) or do they start out with the ability more or less and then when they use the shouting down technique they find the short-term reward beneficial and it starts to become their go-to tactic to the point where they don't know how to not do it because it has become so automatic and to suddenly start going in the reverse direction would be seen as weak and they just can't have that? It's kind of interesting watching Super Nanny when they have these extreme cases and she makes the parents change tack to more reasonable styles of communication and the kids improve dramatically and quite fast.