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Here are a couple of things that I've learned specific to your questions. They're sure no book, but I don't think that a practical guide exists. Being good at
by RBr 16y ago
Here are a couple of things that I've learned specific to your questions. They're sure no book, but I don't think that a practical guide exists. Being good at conferences is as individual as writing code - it's an extension of yourself.
- how to get in and out of a conversation circle
If people are heavily engaged, this is very difficult and you can easily step on the toes of the folks engaged in conversation. Generally, as long as the conversation doesn't "feel" private, stand near the circle and nod a lot. Then, when you have something truly intelligent to add, offer that up. Instantly, you will then be part of the conversation. If you don't have an intelligent part to add, don't. Use this opportunity to break into another group by saying "Bill over there was just talking about tktkt, what do you think of that?"
- event invitations: when is it ok to go and not go
Private events are not ok. Don't show up at the bar or otherwise crash it. Get on the list and do it the right way. At some large, stupidly exclusive events such as Ted, it's ok to show up in the hotel bar and mingle with the folks who paid to be there.
- what's the appropriate amount to talk about yourself and your idea
I use personal information to engage others to talk about themselves. I don't directly talk about myself. A natural part of conversation is to engage people personally in a back-and-forth manner. However, if someone talks about their office in San Francisco, exchange a fact about yourself that involves the area. Use tidbits of information about yourself to engage, not fill conversation. When asked, answer every single personal question honestly and deeply. This goes a long way to developing a relationship. It is however handy to have a few interesting, entertaining stories about yourself. This makes for great dinner conversation where back-and-forth often turns into somewhat of a round-robin of stories.
- how to identify this conversation is going nowhere
I never assume that a conversation isn't going anywhere. One of my biggest pet peeves at conferences are folks who are only there to talk to the heavy hitters. I get wanting to maximize your time, but understand that no single group of people or individual is as valuable as the collection of people attending a conference. There are usually very large brain trusts at events and if you can get a feel for the entire crowd and even have a set of questions answered by a variety of people, this is the best case scenario. Remember that conversations have a natural arc. If you feel stuck in a conversation, you need to learn how to naturally arc the conversation earlier so that you can gracefully move without being noticed.
- how to approach FAMOUS GUY
Remember that you likely won't actually have a discussion with famous people at events. Famous folks (no matter if they're on the bill or not) talk to a lot of people at events and the chance of you gaining any insight or that they will even remember you after you walk away is negligible. My best advice is that if you have some business with someone famous to walk up to him or her after he or she is done presenting, when you notice that they have a quite moment or if all else fails after they come out of the bathroom (never while in the bathroom). Quietly but confidently say something like "Hi Jimmy, my name is John, I know this isn't a great place to talk, but I've come here just to introduce myself in the hope that we can talk again. Here's my card with a note on the back about what I want to talk about. Could you give me a call when you have time or could I call you?"
- how to appropriately ask your friend to introduce you to his friend, FAMOUS GUY
I wouldn't sweat famous people too much. Sure, they look cool and have cool people around them, but for the most part, they're just people with more money then you. The real question that you should be sweating over is, what are you going to do so that people want to be introduced to you? It doesn't matter if your friend knows a music legend or is dating a model, people are people. If you hang around the right people enough, you'll get to know famous people without trying. Specifically at conferences, I'd think carefully about how much value waiting in line (and there is always a line) to talk to someone famous is. Personally, I'd rather talk to everyone in that line and everyone else at the event and then, if need be, talk to the famous person outside of the busy event to connect some dots.
- rguzman 16y agoWow. I wrote basically the exact same comment at roughly the same time. Yours wasn't there when I started and it was when I finished.
- RBr 16y agoThis goes to show you that being good at conferences isn't unique... it's a skill that is learned though experience along with trail-and-error. For some folks, it comes naturally while others need to work at it. It is a skill though and when practiced can be a lot of fun.
- jackowayed 16y agoOne thing to add: I learned at Startup School that if you really want to talk to FAMOUS GUY at a conference, do it before he speaks. At Startup School, every presenter was swamped with people after his talk, even the ones who really weren't that famous. But all of the presenters, even Ron Conway, had few enough people trying to talk to them before the spoke that they were quite approachable. It also shows them that you knew who they were before the conference, which probably gives them a slightly better impression of you.
- Zev 16y agoOne thing to add: I learned at Startup School that if you really want to talk to FAMOUS GUY at a conference, do it before he speaks. Never been to Startup School, but, I've found this to be the case at pretty much every conference I've been to. I usually just go "Hey, nice presentation," maybe adding something like "I really liked the bit about $foo," and then disappear from the group. There's usually a chance to catch up everyone later on - either after other people have presented and they're not as busy or over drinks later on in the evening.
- andrewvc 16y agoI'll add to your advice about circles, which I generally agree with (although I usually introduce myself immediately once there's a break in conversation, even if I don't have anything to add). I would amend your advice to say you don't necessarily need to have something to 'add'. Most people actually are less interested in what you have to say than what they have to say. Most people actually want you to ask them to questions they can answer intelligently. The other reason to ask more questions is you'll actually learn more, rather than walking around talking about stuff you already know, which won't do much more than inflate your own ego. So, don't feel like you need to say something that's always equally as smart as everyone around you, posing simple questions is totally fine within reason, just watch for cues for boredom. Leaving conversations and circles is important as well, often you don't want , or can't spend an entire hour talking to a single person or group of people (though sometimes you do!). Especially if you're organizing an event, you really should probably be having more shorter conversations so you can meet more attendees. I usually excuse myself with 'Excuse me, I have to say hi to someone', which is a great phrase because 1.) It's sincere 2.) It's pretty unoffensive. Of course it's more polite to leave a circle than to leave an individual, you don't generally want to leave someone alone and with no one to talk to, it's rude unless you know they're a social butterfly and really don't care. If possible you should instead integrate your party of two into another conversation. I generally do this by saying 'Oh, by the way, have you met bob?' or 'hey, let's check out what they're talking about'. Speaking of events (shameless plug), the Los Angeles Hacker News meetup is next @ coloft next saturday! http://www.meetup.com/Los-Angeles-Hacker-News/calendar/15138975/ http://www.meetup.com/Los-Angeles-Hacker-News/calendar/15138...