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I don't know if any parrenting approach can ever make someone like routine housework. Its more about instilling the discipline to do the work in spite of not wa

by ggcdn 8y ago

I don't know if any parrenting approach can ever make someone like routine housework. Its more about instilling the discipline to do the work in spite of not wanting to, with the reward being a more pleasant household.

jvagner 8y ago
that's one attitude. the other is that it's an opportunity for flow, to improve your surroundings, to keep things nice, etc. i like the list above, and don't have any issues getting my 14 (almost 15) year old to do chores. but it's important at the beginning to do the chore together, and to make sure they understand how to do it, and why you'd do it. then chore time can be shared time, where the flow of the house is to get some chores done. then it's a balance, as in, "i'll do dishes, you clean the bathroom..." it needs to be a cooperative function of the household, where everyone is visibly contributing. we run a pretty minimalist house and lifestyle, but we gotta keep the house. together.
- rdtsc 8y ago
  I like the improve your surroundings idea and try to teach my 7 year old about it. See a dirty dish, don't walk by, wash it, then move on. See dirt on the floor pick it up. Stuff like that.
- pdkl95 8y ago
  > it's important at the beginning to do the chore together This is very important. Kids are clever and surprisingly capable when they are able to gain some firsthand experience. The problem is they don't actually have that experience. Humans learn by observing and imitating; working together on the same task lets them easily observe in detail from an experienced role model. Immediate feedback lets them rapidly iterate their attempts to imitate their observations. Victor Wooten gave an outstanding TED talk[1] on this topic[2]: > If you think about how you learned [to speak English], you realize you weren’t taught it. People just spoke to you. But the coolest thing is [...] you were allowed to speak back. > Now if I take the music example, in most cases, our beginners are not allowed to play with the better people. You’re stuck in the beginning class. You have to remain there a few years, until you are elevated to the intermediate and then advanced. [...] > But with language, to use a musical term, even as a baby you’re jamming with professionals, all the time — to the point that you don’t even know you’re a beginner. No one says, “I can’t talk to you until you got to go over there. When you’re older, then I can speak to you.” It doesn’t happen. No one tells you what you have to say. You’re not made to sit in a corner and practice. You’re never even corrected when you’re wrong. > Think about it, when you’re 2, 3 years old and you say a word wrong over and over, no one corrects you. If you say it wrong enough times, instead of correcting you, your parents learn your way. And they start saying it wrong too. [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zvjW9arAZ0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zvjW9arAZ0 [2] obviously his talk is primarily about music education, but his observations about how kids learn should apply to most topics
perl4ever 8y ago
Cleaning things can be enjoyable. I know because sometimes I feel like doing it and sometimes I don't. It is practically the best barometer of my mental health I know. To me, it's common sense that people who always do a good job of keeping things clean generally have a desire or at least a compulsion to do it. Just like the vast majority of people who are thin don't have to starve themselves.
- erikpukinskis 8y ago
  Chickens and cats will also stop cleaning their bodies when they are depressed. Grooming is a good indication of mental health for these animals.

by ggcdn 8y ago

jvagner 8y ago

that's one attitude. the other is that it's an opportunity for flow, to improve your surroundings, to keep things nice, etc. i like the list above, and don't have any issues getting my 14 (almost 15) year old to do chores. but it's important at the beginning to do the chore together, and to make sure they understand how to do it, and why you'd do it. then chore time can be shared time, where the flow of the house is to get some chores done. then it's a balance, as in, "i'll do dishes, you clean the bathroom..." it needs to be a cooperative function of the household, where everyone is visibly contributing. we run a pretty minimalist house and lifestyle, but we gotta keep the house. together.

rdtsc 8y ago
I like the improve your surroundings idea and try to teach my 7 year old about it. See a dirty dish, don't walk by, wash it, then move on. See dirt on the floor pick it up. Stuff like that.
pdkl95 8y ago
> it's important at the beginning to do the chore together This is very important. Kids are clever and surprisingly capable when they are able to gain some firsthand experience. The problem is they don't actually have that experience. Humans learn by observing and imitating; working together on the same task lets them easily observe in detail from an experienced role model. Immediate feedback lets them rapidly iterate their attempts to imitate their observations. Victor Wooten gave an outstanding TED talk[1] on this topic[2]: > If you think about how you learned [to speak English], you realize you weren’t taught it. People just spoke to you. But the coolest thing is [...] you were allowed to speak back. > Now if I take the music example, in most cases, our beginners are not allowed to play with the better people. You’re stuck in the beginning class. You have to remain there a few years, until you are elevated to the intermediate and then advanced. [...] > But with language, to use a musical term, even as a baby you’re jamming with professionals, all the time — to the point that you don’t even know you’re a beginner. No one says, “I can’t talk to you until you got to go over there. When you’re older, then I can speak to you.” It doesn’t happen. No one tells you what you have to say. You’re not made to sit in a corner and practice. You’re never even corrected when you’re wrong. > Think about it, when you’re 2, 3 years old and you say a word wrong over and over, no one corrects you. If you say it wrong enough times, instead of correcting you, your parents learn your way. And they start saying it wrong too. [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zvjW9arAZ0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zvjW9arAZ0 [2] obviously his talk is primarily about music education, but his observations about how kids learn should apply to most topics

perl4ever 8y ago

Cleaning things can be enjoyable. I know because sometimes I feel like doing it and sometimes I don't. It is practically the best barometer of my mental health I know. To me, it's common sense that people who always do a good job of keeping things clean generally have a desire or at least a compulsion to do it. Just like the vast majority of people who are thin don't have to starve themselves.

erikpukinskis 8y ago
Chickens and cats will also stop cleaning their bodies when they are depressed. Grooming is a good indication of mental health for these animals.