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The skill I am working on the hardest for 2019 is being able to put down my phone. Or more generally to stop the cycle of mindless addictive loops, checking for

by CPLX 8y ago

The skill I am working on the hardest for 2019 is being able to put down my phone. Or more generally to stop the cycle of mindless addictive loops, checking for comments and upvotes on social media, endlessly refreshing forums, and so on. I’ve tried a few times over the past year to make headway on this and haven’t felt successful, so I’m redoubling and trying to deconstruct the concept a little, figure out some rules and habits to impose on myself, and so on. I don’t feel confident of success at all, it feels like the defining characteristic of our time is that we’re all walking around with the equivalent of a gram of cocaine in our pockets 24/7. My working theory is that drastic abstinence oriented solutions are the only way forward. Any success stories welcome.

grenoire 8y ago
For putting down your phone, for me one thing that has been very helpful was not getting data. This basically prevents me from using my phone anywhere but work, school, and home. I live in a city that allows me to connect to many hotspots if needed, but oftentimes I just don't bother. Helps a lot not to have notification streams or timesinks available to you.
hn_meditate 8y ago
I've had a lot of success via Ulysses contracts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulysses_pact https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulysses_pact You're stuck in these loops through little fault of your own. Our environments are engineered to be very addicting; tech products train our brains to crave a quick hit of stimulus at the slightest hint of boredom. Trying to fight against this with just willpower alone is an uphill battle. Willpower fluctuates throughout the day, and (supposedly) it is a finite resource per unit of time. You may win a few battles, but the strong cues in your environment remain, and will likely snare you next time around. It's hard to resist the temptations because they are pleasurable and salient rewards in the here and now, in a way that longer-term, more abstract goals (read a book, stop wasting time on junk info-snacking, etc) can never be. Ulysses contracts bridge this gap by pulling the longer-term, more abstract goals into the here and now, endowing them with an immediate saliency of their own. Now your new habits can fight on the same ground as your old habits. Examples: the person who, in trying to quit smoking, gave a friend a check for $5k and promised that if she smoked again, she'd have to report herself to her friend, who would then donate that money to the KKK. Examples of my own: - I jettisoned caffeine by promising my spouse that for every caffeinated drink I took, I had to give up in proportion something I love dearly (e.g. skip a day of meditation) - I cut down on online boardgaming by promising a friend that I would only play with him -- and should I play with an online stranger, my friend would receive $5k and proceed to squander it at the poker table. (Making the resulting outcome of your contract breach, something that stings, that is visceral and has an emotional valence to it, it key to making the contracts successful). It also helps to engineer your environment. Remove the cues and temptations. I've had more mixed success with this. But quitting FB, Linkedin, definitely removed strong loops. (My brain fought like hell against their absence, then after the three week mark, never a peep again. Goes to show the arbitrariness of our cravings)
titanomachy 8y ago
I've been working on this over the holidays, since it's a chance to spend time with people I don't see too often. I have had some success with the Android app Cold Turkey. Every time I catch myself using the phone in an undesirable way, I can lock it for 15 minutes or so. Instead of putting it away and then absently picking it up again 30 seconds later. EDIT: I know it's cliched to give technical tricks as answers to comments like this, but these tricks are actually IMHO the best solution to these problems. Trying to enforce through willpower alone seems a losing battle. Eventually the habit fades and you don't need the tricks anymore.
afarrell 8y ago
One tool I have found useful is the app Freedom. Another I’ve found useful in thd past is Forest.
Etheryte 8y ago
The easiest way to put down your phone is to not have it around. If you go to work, leave your phone in your jacket pocket in the wardrobe. You can check on it once per [interval of your choice], other than that it won't even be around. Out of sight, out of mind. It's worked great for me and doing it in the office has also drastically reduced the amount I use my phone outside of it.
vondro 8y ago
Hey! I've been fighting the same battle, mainly with facebook and smartphone usage. With facebook, I unfollowed all the people and groups and pages, rendering my wall totally empty. Now I can still use it as an actual SOCIAL network - messaging friends on messenger and taking part in/creating events. With smartphone - I highly recommend turning your display into grayscale. On android, it can be found in developer settings (google how to enable it). Together with high contrast settings, everything is perfectly readable, you can still call and text, take pictures, whatever. But looking at the grey display just doesn't give the satisfaction nice colors do. Try it. Also wristwatch helps, since you don't need to look at the phone to check time.
tmaly 8y ago
The section about news in The 4 Hour Work Week helped me the most in this respect. Once you try it, it is easy to translate to social media.

by CPLX 8y ago

grenoire 8y ago

For putting down your phone, for me one thing that has been very helpful was not getting data. This basically prevents me from using my phone anywhere but work, school, and home. I live in a city that allows me to connect to many hotspots if needed, but oftentimes I just don't bother. Helps a lot not to have notification streams or timesinks available to you.

hn_meditate 8y ago

I've had a lot of success via Ulysses contracts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulysses_pact https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulysses_pact You're stuck in these loops through little fault of your own. Our environments are engineered to be very addicting; tech products train our brains to crave a quick hit of stimulus at the slightest hint of boredom. Trying to fight against this with just willpower alone is an uphill battle. Willpower fluctuates throughout the day, and (supposedly) it is a finite resource per unit of time. You may win a few battles, but the strong cues in your environment remain, and will likely snare you next time around. It's hard to resist the temptations because they are pleasurable and salient rewards in the here and now, in a way that longer-term, more abstract goals (read a book, stop wasting time on junk info-snacking, etc) can never be. Ulysses contracts bridge this gap by pulling the longer-term, more abstract goals into the here and now, endowing them with an immediate saliency of their own. Now your new habits can fight on the same ground as your old habits. Examples: the person who, in trying to quit smoking, gave a friend a check for $5k and promised that if she smoked again, she'd have to report herself to her friend, who would then donate that money to the KKK. Examples of my own: - I jettisoned caffeine by promising my spouse that for every caffeinated drink I took, I had to give up in proportion something I love dearly (e.g. skip a day of meditation) - I cut down on online boardgaming by promising a friend that I would only play with him -- and should I play with an online stranger, my friend would receive $5k and proceed to squander it at the poker table. (Making the resulting outcome of your contract breach, something that stings, that is visceral and has an emotional valence to it, it key to making the contracts successful). It also helps to engineer your environment. Remove the cues and temptations. I've had more mixed success with this. But quitting FB, Linkedin, definitely removed strong loops. (My brain fought like hell against their absence, then after the three week mark, never a peep again. Goes to show the arbitrariness of our cravings)

titanomachy 8y ago

I've been working on this over the holidays, since it's a chance to spend time with people I don't see too often. I have had some success with the Android app Cold Turkey. Every time I catch myself using the phone in an undesirable way, I can lock it for 15 minutes or so. Instead of putting it away and then absently picking it up again 30 seconds later. EDIT: I know it's cliched to give technical tricks as answers to comments like this, but these tricks are actually IMHO the best solution to these problems. Trying to enforce through willpower alone seems a losing battle. Eventually the habit fades and you don't need the tricks anymore.

afarrell 8y ago

One tool I have found useful is the app Freedom. Another I’ve found useful in thd past is Forest.

Etheryte 8y ago

The easiest way to put down your phone is to not have it around. If you go to work, leave your phone in your jacket pocket in the wardrobe. You can check on it once per [interval of your choice], other than that it won't even be around. Out of sight, out of mind. It's worked great for me and doing it in the office has also drastically reduced the amount I use my phone outside of it.

vondro 8y ago

Hey! I've been fighting the same battle, mainly with facebook and smartphone usage. With facebook, I unfollowed all the people and groups and pages, rendering my wall totally empty. Now I can still use it as an actual SOCIAL network - messaging friends on messenger and taking part in/creating events. With smartphone - I highly recommend turning your display into grayscale. On android, it can be found in developer settings (google how to enable it). Together with high contrast settings, everything is perfectly readable, you can still call and text, take pictures, whatever. But looking at the grey display just doesn't give the satisfaction nice colors do. Try it. Also wristwatch helps, since you don't need to look at the phone to check time.

tmaly 8y ago

The section about news in The 4 Hour Work Week helped me the most in this respect. Once you try it, it is easy to translate to social media.