I learned from Sapolky's Biology of Human Behaviour that most species, including some bacteria and female bats, naturally have an almost optimal strategy (accor

I learned from Sapolky's Biology of Human Behaviour that most species, including some bacteria and female bats, naturally have an almost optimal strategy (according to game theory) when dealing with situations like the one you described: you always treat others nicely by default, but as soon they behave like asses you respond in kind, but then, as soon as they are nice (again?), so are you. My wife had issues like yours in the office this year, and I advised her just like this. Worked like a charm.