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I learned that withdrawing into yourself when an asshole treats your poorly is the wrong thing to do. Shutting out may feel comfortable and safe, but leaves yo
by coralreef 8y ago
I learned that withdrawing into yourself when an asshole treats your poorly is the wrong thing to do.
Shutting out may feel comfortable and safe, but leaves you unaccustomed to dealing with emotional disturbances. It makes you soft.
If you are upset by someone else, it's only because you've let their negativity into you, so to speak. The world has an endless supply of assholes, and tomorrow you may face another one. Fortify your mind by maintaining your course.
- drdeadringer 8y agoThis is interesting because in addition to "flight // fight" there is also "freeze" which sounds a bit like what you are talking about. Learning how to overcome "freeze" as a reaction may be a good idea in some situations.
- coralreef 8y agoCould be, but semantics allows it to fulfill the flight definition as well. As in, we are fleeing from confrontation, or we are avoiding the things we would normally do/feel.
- charlysl 8y agoI learned from Sapolky's Biology of Human Behaviour that most species, including some bacteria and female bats, naturally have an almost optimal strategy (according to game theory) when dealing with situations like the one you described: you always treat others nicely by default, but as soon they behave like asses you respond in kind, but then, as soon as they are nice (again?), so are you. My wife had issues like yours in the office this year, and I advised her just like this. Worked like a charm.