You are on the verge of finding the coding nirvana, dont stop! To me it seems you're facing ego depletion due to lack of proper practise, like a musician that d

You are on the verge of finding the coding nirvana, dont stop! To me it seems you're facing ego depletion due to lack of proper practise, like a musician that does not sit down and tune their instrument and practise tempo. The best solution to this would be to find a great mentor, whose well-crafted mental model you could emulate and in the process learn it yourself. If this is not possible, try to get feedback in other ways. You have to rearrange your mental pathways just like someone who has bad squatting technique. Go out and work in projects, do code reviews. Try to explain a problem youre facing, and how you think you could solve it to someone. Override your instinct to give up when it gets hard and you dont know what to do. Do something else maybe for a while, then come back to the problem. All in all i wish i could guide you in your workplace but such is life. Do something different, clearly the previous methods have not been working. Try to find the things you like and are good at, and then develop your programming identity on top of that.