4 ms·

Most girls I know don't really care about the lewd messages. It is the nice guys that turn out to be unemployed narcissists on the first date that are the prob

Most girls I know don't really care about the lewd messages. It is the nice guys that turn out to be unemployed narcissists on the first date that are the problem for them. Lewd assholes are fine, lewd assholes behind masks are dangerous.

hombre_fatal 8y ago
Great point. Reminds me of /r/tinder lambasting some guy's Tinder bio because he was specific about what he wanted. He wanted a woman who would cook and clean for him, something like that. Yes, easy to make fun of (virtue signaling is always tempting), but I don't see the problem. That kind of bio works out perfectly for everyone: the man gets what he wants, and women know of his expectations before they even interact with him. It's ideal. What people don't want to acknowledge is that the default is to hide our expectations and instead engage in some form of manipulation or leak them out down the road. And that's the problem. Not some guy being upfront about them. Like you said, it's better to be able to filter someone immediately than deal with sleeper/masked issues down the line.
InGodsName 8y ago
I can attest, I've always sent very obscene messages but no one really made an issue out of it. That said, i am rich + no college + good looks. Rudeness isn't a problem if you've things working in your favour. That said, i am trying to improve as a person so that others have their pleasant day as well.
- stared 8y ago
  Anecdotally, there is an experiment "How Girls Respond To Creepy Messages From Hot Guys" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv7RlkPfCl4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv7RlkPfCl4 (I assume it's real, though as always - it's hard to prove).
  - ryandrake 8y ago
    > "How Girls Respond To Creepy Messages From Hot Guys" That title makes no sense at all. Whether or not a message is creepy has nothing to do with the content of the message and everything to do with the recipient’s perception—namely does the recipient find the sender attractive? It’s impossible for an person who is attractive to the recipient to send a “creepy” message, because it will not be perceived as such.
    - eigenstuff 8y ago
      >It’s impossible for an person who is attractive to the recipient to send a “creepy” message, because it will not be perceived as such. As a woman, this is completely false. "Creepy" doesn't mean "ugly," it means makes me feel unsafe or threatened. I don't care how hot you are, if you give off rapist/murderer vibes, you're a creep. I have met hot guys who were creepy.
      - InGodsName 8y ago
        As a woman, this is completely false. "Creepy" doesn't mean "ugly," it means makes me feel unsafe or threatened. I don't care how hot you are, if you give off rapist/murderer vibes, you're a creep. I have met hot guys who were creepy. He isn't only talking about physical attraction but attraction as in having a crush on someone or finding them lot attractive. Think about it, if you get a date with your crush, would you think like, oh he might rape me? No such thought doesn't come to us when we are attracted to someone. I can show you screenshot of conversations in which women enjoy my obscene messages. It differs for every girl but what you are saying is not more "normal" than what Ryandrake is saying. What's creepy is a subjective thing. There is no thing Universally Creepy. If a send a dick pic to a girl who had crush on me, is it creepy? She might not agree with you, I've tried :) The girls who are interested in me. I do ask them if they want my nude pics? After realising that i am non judgemental open minded guy, they do tell me that they want nudes. Yea, a few also got offended but i considered them to be feminist kind. I believe sexual desires are nothing to hide. It's better to display your desire for others with all honesty. If they say no, swiftly go back. No need to pester anyone.
    - deleted 8y ago
      [deleted]

hombre_fatal 8y ago

Great point. Reminds me of /r/tinder lambasting some guy's Tinder bio because he was specific about what he wanted. He wanted a woman who would cook and clean for him, something like that. Yes, easy to make fun of (virtue signaling is always tempting), but I don't see the problem. That kind of bio works out perfectly for everyone: the man gets what he wants, and women know of his expectations before they even interact with him. It's ideal. What people don't want to acknowledge is that the default is to hide our expectations and instead engage in some form of manipulation or leak them out down the road. And that's the problem. Not some guy being upfront about them. Like you said, it's better to be able to filter someone immediately than deal with sleeper/masked issues down the line.

InGodsName 8y ago

I can attest, I've always sent very obscene messages but no one really made an issue out of it. That said, i am rich + no college + good looks. Rudeness isn't a problem if you've things working in your favour. That said, i am trying to improve as a person so that others have their pleasant day as well.

stared 8y ago
Anecdotally, there is an experiment "How Girls Respond To Creepy Messages From Hot Guys" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv7RlkPfCl4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv7RlkPfCl4 (I assume it's real, though as always - it's hard to prove).
- ryandrake 8y ago
  > "How Girls Respond To Creepy Messages From Hot Guys" That title makes no sense at all. Whether or not a message is creepy has nothing to do with the content of the message and everything to do with the recipient’s perception—namely does the recipient find the sender attractive? It’s impossible for an person who is attractive to the recipient to send a “creepy” message, because it will not be perceived as such.
  - eigenstuff 8y ago
    >It’s impossible for an person who is attractive to the recipient to send a “creepy” message, because it will not be perceived as such. As a woman, this is completely false. "Creepy" doesn't mean "ugly," it means makes me feel unsafe or threatened. I don't care how hot you are, if you give off rapist/murderer vibes, you're a creep. I have met hot guys who were creepy.
    - InGodsName 8y ago
      As a woman, this is completely false. "Creepy" doesn't mean "ugly," it means makes me feel unsafe or threatened. I don't care how hot you are, if you give off rapist/murderer vibes, you're a creep. I have met hot guys who were creepy. He isn't only talking about physical attraction but attraction as in having a crush on someone or finding them lot attractive. Think about it, if you get a date with your crush, would you think like, oh he might rape me? No such thought doesn't come to us when we are attracted to someone. I can show you screenshot of conversations in which women enjoy my obscene messages. It differs for every girl but what you are saying is not more "normal" than what Ryandrake is saying. What's creepy is a subjective thing. There is no thing Universally Creepy. If a send a dick pic to a girl who had crush on me, is it creepy? She might not agree with you, I've tried :) The girls who are interested in me. I do ask them if they want my nude pics? After realising that i am non judgemental open minded guy, they do tell me that they want nudes. Yea, a few also got offended but i considered them to be feminist kind. I believe sexual desires are nothing to hide. It's better to display your desire for others with all honesty. If they say no, swiftly go back. No need to pester anyone.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]