7 ms·
Improv comedy classes helped me a lot. Not even necessarily with spontaneity. They helped me build confidence. "I don't know what this situation is, and that fe
by kyoob 8y ago
Improv comedy classes helped me a lot. Not even necessarily with spontaneity. They helped me build confidence. "I don't know what this situation is, and that feels yucky. But I've felt that kind of yuck a lot of times before so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to navigate it."
One of my improv instructors gave me this advice about conversations that always resonated with me: just make the conversation about the other person. If you get to the end of it, ask a question about them.
"Are you traveling for the holidays?"
"See any movies lately?"
"Where'd you get that ring?"
"How are your cats doing?"
Anything, as long as it's about them. Keep them talking. A metaphor we learned was "bull and matador." You're dealing with someone who has their own full, rich inner life. They're like a bull ready to lunge forward with a new spike of conversation. Sometimes you just need to wave your cape this way or that to get them to do the work.
- veddox 8y agoAs well as keeping the conversation going, this has the added benefit of showing the other person that you care about them - great for relationship building! (Pro tip: it works best when you actually do care about them ;-) )
- hashr8064 8y agoThis is definitely the best tip. Two things have probably helped me more than any others, this and saying people's names. If you say someone's name you will remember it and I've noticed it helps them also remember you and have warmer feeling about you. Also asking questions will open up tons more information you can spring off of to learn more about them and find shared interests, opinions, differences, etc. I would say you will have to genuinely care, if you don't people will notice and it comes off fake and creepy. I have noticed this with some consultants / business people. ( not saying it only occurrs there, just anecdotal personal experience)