* Have a goal to the encounter (the goal can be laughter, good feelings, learning whether the conference buffet is any good...) * end conversations when they'v

* Have a goal to the encounter (the goal can be laughter, good feelings, learning whether the conference buffet is any good...) * end conversations when they've ended. If you're at a networking event it's OK to have 5min conversations with people about what they do, if you don't think you can entertain them further. * Try to notice when you're repeating yourself. To do that have group conversations with friends and ask them if they thought you insist too much on a particular issue generally. * When people are having fun they talk louder, faster, kind of lean into you. Optimize for that. * The converse is also true. If you laugh, smile, and generally talk like you're having fun, it makes people feel more comfortable. * When people are talking about a subject and they're suddenly talking a little faster, nod and ask questions. * When people are talking about a subject but don't look too engaged (look around, fidget, move between ideas), build on what they say but switch to a subject you may be able to talk about in some detail. * if it feels too challenging in specific situations, try to convert the situation to a group conversation. Ask dates to board games meetups, go to networking events with another professional, join conversations of existing groups, etc. It's easier to sustain conversations in groups.