3 ms·

I used to have this pretty bad. I believed that it showed that I was autistic, or lacking some kind of fundamental creative spark, or something like that. It’s

I used to have this pretty bad. I believed that it showed that I was autistic, or lacking some kind of fundamental creative spark, or something like that. It’s gotten a lot better since I got treated for depression and anxiety. I think it was really just me shutting down ideas at a pre-conscious level. I don’t know much about how the brain works. But this is my (pseudoscientific BS) mental model of it: 1. Our ideas and memories are composed of connections between neurons. 2. “Creativity” is the expression of random, new connections between those neurons. 3. Creative expression requires focusing our attention on those new neural pathways, filling them in and adding detail. 4. Depression and anxiety caused me to focus my attention on the idea of failing to come up with something “on the spot” (and the many minor traumatic memories of failing in this way), instead of the infinite weak, undeveloped ideas that could be explored with a moment’s focused attention. It’s hard to be fun when you are having a small anxiety attack. 5. The antidepressant I’m taking has gotten me out of this rut. Whether it’s by turning off my anxiety, or helping my nascent creative neural pathways reach further by preventing the reuptake of some neurotransmitter, I don’t know.

visarga 8y ago
I think it's related to the exploration exploitation tradeoff in reinforcement learning. Creativity is related to exploration and randomness (and a high learning rate) while exploitation to using past knowledge to extract the maximum benefit. The brain switches off the creative/learning part in order to maximise the latter. In reality we need a mix of both, exploration is necessary for improvement and exploiting past knowledge is necessary for achieving high rewards. In neural nets, a too high or too low learning rate would not lead you to the optimum, you need to find the exact sweet spot. Anxiety would turn the balance too much into exploitation mode when we need to be creative.

visarga 8y ago

I think it's related to the exploration exploitation tradeoff in reinforcement learning. Creativity is related to exploration and randomness (and a high learning rate) while exploitation to using past knowledge to extract the maximum benefit. The brain switches off the creative/learning part in order to maximise the latter. In reality we need a mix of both, exploration is necessary for improvement and exploiting past knowledge is necessary for achieving high rewards. In neural nets, a too high or too low learning rate would not lead you to the optimum, you need to find the exact sweet spot. Anxiety would turn the balance too much into exploitation mode when we need to be creative.