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Isolating that "weird kid" with homeschooling is not going to have any kind of positive effect on their social integration. How do you expect someone to even h

Isolating that "weird kid" with homeschooling is not going to have any kind of positive effect on their social integration. How do you expect someone to even hope to learn about social norms if they aren't exposed to them? Especially when most of these wishy washy, unspoken social rules are learned entirely through observation and practice? Yes, you need coaching, but the bottom line is that no one is going to pick up on social norms to the point of "passing" without being exposed to them regularly. Unfortunately that means lots of fruitless anxiety in those of us who cannot learn such norms, but one must understand that avoidance is not a valid solution to the core problem of social difficulty.

TrinaryWorksToo 8y ago
> Isolating that "weird kid" with homeschooling is not going to have any kind of positive effect on their social integration. Yes it absolutely can. If I can learn in a calm environment how to respond to social stimuli, and still have opportunity to pursue it, I'm going to be able to perform much better.
fsloth 8y ago
"Isolating that "weird kid" with homeschooling is not going to have any kind of positive effect on their social integration." I think the image in your head is that home schooling means the person is completely separated from the society. Which probably is not the case. I mean, you can have hobbies, go to shopping, the library, etc. You just don't need to follow the school program which might be a really painful daily experience. Bullying is not unheard of - this is something which a normal person really does not need to suffer outside of school. In normal life you can just avoid the person, so learning to suffer bullying and being the victim is not helpfull at all. The mental anguish a non-neurotypical person can have in a school without any attention to his or her special needs is a consideration as well. If the environment is supportive, and the kid seems to handle it ok, then sure, regular school is just fine. But aspie kids can be so different (my sons teacher said she had never met a kid like this) that they really are hard to understand. Basically school is programmed so that the kids exhibit certain neurotypical behaviour patterns. The most important of these is the inborn need for social cohesion - which asperger kids can totally lack. Hence, when they should do X, and everyone else is doing it, they don't understand why they should do something just because. And then they get negative feedback, which lead to stress. They can have sensory sensitivity for light, sounds or touch, which can put them on the edge. Social pressure and unexpected events can the push them over the edge leading to meltdown, which is a total shitshow for all relative parties. There are so many things that normal kids take for granted that can be so difficult with a child on the asperger spectrum. My son is such a person - he is on the fifth grade, the school has adapted, but boy has it been challenging occasionally. I don't question at all if parents decide to homeschool their asperger kids.
gedy 8y ago
Many people incorrectly equate home-schooling with being a shut-in. Home-schooled kids generally have more positive interaction with adults to learn these social norms, and they have activities with other kids.

TrinaryWorksToo 8y ago

> Isolating that "weird kid" with homeschooling is not going to have any kind of positive effect on their social integration. Yes it absolutely can. If I can learn in a calm environment how to respond to social stimuli, and still have opportunity to pursue it, I'm going to be able to perform much better.

fsloth 8y ago

"Isolating that "weird kid" with homeschooling is not going to have any kind of positive effect on their social integration." I think the image in your head is that home schooling means the person is completely separated from the society. Which probably is not the case. I mean, you can have hobbies, go to shopping, the library, etc. You just don't need to follow the school program which might be a really painful daily experience. Bullying is not unheard of - this is something which a normal person really does not need to suffer outside of school. In normal life you can just avoid the person, so learning to suffer bullying and being the victim is not helpfull at all. The mental anguish a non-neurotypical person can have in a school without any attention to his or her special needs is a consideration as well. If the environment is supportive, and the kid seems to handle it ok, then sure, regular school is just fine. But aspie kids can be so different (my sons teacher said she had never met a kid like this) that they really are hard to understand. Basically school is programmed so that the kids exhibit certain neurotypical behaviour patterns. The most important of these is the inborn need for social cohesion - which asperger kids can totally lack. Hence, when they should do X, and everyone else is doing it, they don't understand why they should do something just because. And then they get negative feedback, which lead to stress. They can have sensory sensitivity for light, sounds or touch, which can put them on the edge. Social pressure and unexpected events can the push them over the edge leading to meltdown, which is a total shitshow for all relative parties. There are so many things that normal kids take for granted that can be so difficult with a child on the asperger spectrum. My son is such a person - he is on the fifth grade, the school has adapted, but boy has it been challenging occasionally. I don't question at all if parents decide to homeschool their asperger kids.

gedy 8y ago

Many people incorrectly equate home-schooling with being a shut-in. Home-schooled kids generally have more positive interaction with adults to learn these social norms, and they have activities with other kids.