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Same problem. Our biggest issue while dating. My wife said she wanted to stay permanently in the South to be near family but agreed to move for a few years if a

Same problem. Our biggest issue while dating. My wife said she wanted to stay permanently in the South to be near family but agreed to move for a few years if a really good job became available. Well, we got married, and shortly afterward one of the well known tech companies made a really good offer. My wife threw an absolute fit and said she had taken a gamble while dating and didn't believe I would ever actually get a job offer at one of those companies. I nearly filed for divorce because of how horrible she was treating me, but instead I accepted the job and told her I was moving to the Bay Area regardless. Soon after, she agreed to honor her promise and came too, but every single day here she complains about how much she hates California. When my few years are "up" I'm really dreading going back to a non-tech region. The company I'm at doesn't generally allow fully remote work, so I am somewhat seriously floating the idea of commuting to their office in the Northeast by plane each day from Atlanta. Sounds expensive but the plane tickets would be balanced out by the much lower cost of living. I don't know if the idea is actually feasible; I'd have to test it for a week.

ryanwaggoner 8y ago
Don’t have kids if you haven’t already. I’ve seen this exact scenario tear apart many relationships. Where you live often reflects underlying values, so long-term sustained disagreement in this area is very hard to survive from what I’ve seen. Not trying to doom you, but look at the language you’re using: she complains every day, you’re dreading moving back, etc. Not to imply that where you live has to be both partners’ first choice, but if you can’t be on the same page that it’s a good compromise, one of you is just going to be miserable.
romanovcode 8y ago
> but every single day here she complains about how much she hates California. I think you are wasting your time. This will not end well. I'm telling this because I speak from my experience with very similar situation.

ryanwaggoner 8y ago

Don’t have kids if you haven’t already. I’ve seen this exact scenario tear apart many relationships. Where you live often reflects underlying values, so long-term sustained disagreement in this area is very hard to survive from what I’ve seen. Not trying to doom you, but look at the language you’re using: she complains every day, you’re dreading moving back, etc. Not to imply that where you live has to be both partners’ first choice, but if you can’t be on the same page that it’s a good compromise, one of you is just going to be miserable.

romanovcode 8y ago

> but every single day here she complains about how much she hates California. I think you are wasting your time. This will not end well. I'm telling this because I speak from my experience with very similar situation.