5 ms·

> the blathering would start, I'd look over, he'd nod, I'd do the phone trick, and then it would be over. A coworker and I had a similar arrangement at the las

> the blathering would start, I'd look over, he'd nod, I'd do the phone trick, and then it would be over. A coworker and I had a similar arrangement at the last office I worked at :)

mabbo 8y ago
I live in fear that I am that person.
- le-mark 8y ago
  Used to work with a guy who was similarly boarish and oblivious, he'd comment on his email to the entire office, every damn morning. Interesting wikipedia minutia? Whole office. I quit in large part to get away from this person.
  - giggles_giggles 8y ago
    I do this sort of thing compulsively (announce minutia to the poor souls trying to work around me) and then feel incredible shame about it later. For me it's probably related to my ADHD, since that's an impulse/executive control disorder, so this behavior matches the pattern of being unable to resist the impulse, and then later I feel anxious/guilty/embarrassed about it. It'd be a lot easier to manage if I had an office with a door, or even a cubicle. I might try to get a remote job so I don't have this problem. I feel terrible about it but can't seem to quit. I must be so annoying to my coworkers, who I quite like. Maybe I'm starved for social interaction. I'd like to say sorry to you for your coworker on behalf of all of those like us.
    - samirm 8y ago
      Have you confirmed that it's related to your "ADHD" and you're not just inconsiderate and annoying? Not trying to sound like a douche, but honestly just putting on some headphones would probably stop this supposed "executive control disorder".
      - giggles_giggles 8y ago
        If you're not trying to sound like a douche, don't put ADHD in scare quotes. Yes, it was over-diagnosed in the 90s, but I brought myself in and was diagnosed as an adult in 2009. Maybe watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSfCdBBqNXY&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSfCdBBqNXY&feature=youtu.be if you don't think ADHD is real. No, I don't know for certain if this is related to my ADHD. I might just be inconsiderate and annoying. I'm speculating, because it's a behavior that I have spontaneously manifested, observed, criticized myself for, and yet still do. It fits in the category of "executive control" and "impulse control" and those are the things that ADHD impairs. And I already wear headphones most of the day when I'm in the office because music helps me focus and otherwise I start listening to the conversations around me. Listening to music while I work (and when I studied when I was in school) is one way I have managed my disorder throughout my life.
    - pfhorge 8y ago
      Just my two cents, but if I was your coworker and you told me the situation, I can virtually guarantee that my annoyance would instantly transmute into some degree of sympathy and tolerance. It goes a long way to know that you're aware of the problem and feeling some stress yourself. Suddenly it isn't something you're inflicting on me because you're oblivious.
      - lentil_soup 8y ago
        Also, it could help break the social barrier and lead to them being honest with you when they feel annoyed. "OC, you're doing it again! :D"
    - matheusmoreira 8y ago
      I suffer from this too. I try to keep to myself and act normally but it doesn't always work. It's easy to lose this restraint, especially when conversation turns to topics I enjoy. I end up saying way too much to people who are likely not interested, realizing it immediately afterwards and feeling regret. I learned to recognize some social cues so I can try and stop myself before it does too much damage. I also learned to talk about topics others enjoy instead. This is a sign of ADHD, which I have also been diagnosed with. It shows up on the diagnostic criteria and adult self-report: > How often do you find yourself talking too much when you are in social situations? > When you’re in a conversation, how often do you find yourself finishing the sentences of the people you are talking to, before they can finish them themselves? > How often do you interrupt others when they are busy?
- anderspitman 8y ago
  If you're aware enough to wonder, chances are pretty good you're not.
technofiend 8y ago
You learn how to deal with this in time management classes. Coworker won't leave? Stand up, walk to kitchen and get a drink of water, chit-chat for a minute and then say well I have to get back to work, see you later.

> the blathering would start, I'd look over, he'd nod, I'd do the phone trick, and then it would be over. A coworker and I had a similar arrangement at the last office I worked at :)

mabbo 8y ago

I live in fear that I am that person.

le-mark 8y ago
Used to work with a guy who was similarly boarish and oblivious, he'd comment on his email to the entire office, every damn morning. Interesting wikipedia minutia? Whole office. I quit in large part to get away from this person.
- giggles_giggles 8y ago
  I do this sort of thing compulsively (announce minutia to the poor souls trying to work around me) and then feel incredible shame about it later. For me it's probably related to my ADHD, since that's an impulse/executive control disorder, so this behavior matches the pattern of being unable to resist the impulse, and then later I feel anxious/guilty/embarrassed about it. It'd be a lot easier to manage if I had an office with a door, or even a cubicle. I might try to get a remote job so I don't have this problem. I feel terrible about it but can't seem to quit. I must be so annoying to my coworkers, who I quite like. Maybe I'm starved for social interaction. I'd like to say sorry to you for your coworker on behalf of all of those like us.
  - samirm 8y ago
    Have you confirmed that it's related to your "ADHD" and you're not just inconsiderate and annoying? Not trying to sound like a douche, but honestly just putting on some headphones would probably stop this supposed "executive control disorder".
    - giggles_giggles 8y ago
      If you're not trying to sound like a douche, don't put ADHD in scare quotes. Yes, it was over-diagnosed in the 90s, but I brought myself in and was diagnosed as an adult in 2009. Maybe watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSfCdBBqNXY&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSfCdBBqNXY&feature=youtu.be if you don't think ADHD is real. No, I don't know for certain if this is related to my ADHD. I might just be inconsiderate and annoying. I'm speculating, because it's a behavior that I have spontaneously manifested, observed, criticized myself for, and yet still do. It fits in the category of "executive control" and "impulse control" and those are the things that ADHD impairs. And I already wear headphones most of the day when I'm in the office because music helps me focus and otherwise I start listening to the conversations around me. Listening to music while I work (and when I studied when I was in school) is one way I have managed my disorder throughout my life.
  - pfhorge 8y ago
    Just my two cents, but if I was your coworker and you told me the situation, I can virtually guarantee that my annoyance would instantly transmute into some degree of sympathy and tolerance. It goes a long way to know that you're aware of the problem and feeling some stress yourself. Suddenly it isn't something you're inflicting on me because you're oblivious.
    - lentil_soup 8y ago
      Also, it could help break the social barrier and lead to them being honest with you when they feel annoyed. "OC, you're doing it again! :D"
  - matheusmoreira 8y ago
    I suffer from this too. I try to keep to myself and act normally but it doesn't always work. It's easy to lose this restraint, especially when conversation turns to topics I enjoy. I end up saying way too much to people who are likely not interested, realizing it immediately afterwards and feeling regret. I learned to recognize some social cues so I can try and stop myself before it does too much damage. I also learned to talk about topics others enjoy instead. This is a sign of ADHD, which I have also been diagnosed with. It shows up on the diagnostic criteria and adult self-report: > How often do you find yourself talking too much when you are in social situations? > When you’re in a conversation, how often do you find yourself finishing the sentences of the people you are talking to, before they can finish them themselves? > How often do you interrupt others when they are busy?
anderspitman 8y ago
If you're aware enough to wonder, chances are pretty good you're not.

technofiend 8y ago

You learn how to deal with this in time management classes. Coworker won't leave? Stand up, walk to kitchen and get a drink of water, chit-chat for a minute and then say well I have to get back to work, see you later.