5 ms·

Never let anyone tell you that our current standard of "normal" is normal. It's only the pressures of the world that make teenagers retract from their parents.

Never let anyone tell you that our current standard of "normal" is normal. It's only the pressures of the world that make teenagers retract from their parents. Every emotion you've ever felt has been developed, whether by God or by hundreds of thousands of years of natural selection. Conscious thought may deliver us to emotion, but the emotion that you arrive at is something that has always been inside of you. When feel something isn't right, it's a good indicator that something isn't the way it's supposed to be. There's no reason that the world would be made in a way where mothers of teenage daughters are supposed to be miserable and shut out. There's no reason that the transition of growing from a baby to becoming an adult should not be smooth and untraumatic for all involved parties. What is the evolutionary advantage of making mothers miserable as a necessary part of producing offspring? The idea that the family has become such a secondary consideration in modern society, to the point that this mother is advocating to others mothers about the opportunity to vicariously know your own child via the Internet... It's nothing short of heartbreaking. Nothing is more certain in my mind than the idea that it doesn't have to be this way, and historically has not been this way. Kids have been sexualized and have to grow up too quickly. Kids have been made into tiny workers that do busy work for most of their childhood, away from their parents, because both parents have to work. It's dystopian, disgusting and perverted

adrianN 8y ago
I think that children used to be independent much earlier before humans invented agriculture. By your mid to late teens your body is developed enough to survive on your own and have children of your own. The evolutionary advantage in a hunter-gatherer society of making parents miserable is encouraging offspring from separating from their parents to start families of their own and not compete for the same resources. You see it with all kinds of animals. And if I'm not mistaken it wasn't at all unusual until fairly recently for daughters to be married off and for sons to start an apprenticeship in their late teens. Only the necessity for decades of education for getting a job keeps children dependent on their parents so long.
captain_chester 8y ago
Well said.
Eridrus 8y ago
One theory exists that teenagers sleep cycle is offset from parents so that they can more easily socialise with each other without parental interference. There could be plenty of reasons our hormones have evolved to make us act in ways that parents do not like.
rdtsc 8y ago
> The idea that the family has become such a secondary consideration in modern society, to the point that this mother is advocating to others mothers about the opportunity to vicariously know your own child via the Internet... It's nothing short of heartbreaking. Great point. At the same time, I think there is an evolutionary pressure to rebel and fight against parental control. Those that were obedient and stayed quietly at home might have never ventured out to explore and discover new things. Eventually those that did, ended up spreading their genes better so to speak. If parent don't know what you're doing, they can't control you and tell you what to do. Also I think at one level, parents might say, "don't stay up late", "don't date this or that person", "don't to go the dance club". But at the same time if the child listened and actually stayed in the house and were as obedient as the parent insists, they might eventually disappoint the parent. Another thing that I observed is that some parents cannot handle this rebelliousness well and it spirals out of control. Ultimatums being uttered, other drastic measures, police being called etc.
snowwrestler 8y ago
I think your sentiment is well-meaning but maybe a bit dangerous. It's setting up an unrealistic expectation of how adolescence "should" be, which risks leading parents to blame themselves or their kids when it doesn't turn out that way. Because it's extremely unlikely to turn out that way. Adolescents are frequently at odds with their parents for the same reason 3 year olds are famous for temper tantrums: because it is part of the normal development of the human mind. Infants make no distinction between themselves and their parents; adults understand the difference completely. It takes about 18-20 years for that to develop, and there are well-known milestones along the way. Teenage/parent conflict is certainly not a new phenomenon. You can find examples in stories almost as far back as there are records of stories. > Conscious thought may deliver us to emotion, but the emotion that you arrive at is something that has always been inside of you. Emotion precedes conscious thought; a big part of growing up is learning how to use conscious thought to identify, understand, and manage emotions. For very young children, emotion can be terrifying; it's great to feel happy but suddenly they might feel bad, angry, have scary thoughts, etc.--and it's all unexpected and unexplained. Teenage years are difficult because an entirely new set of powerful emotions, related to love and sex, emerge and the teenage conscious mind has to learn how to deal with them. > What is the evolutionary advantage of making mothers miserable as a necessary part of producing offspring? The answer to this obvious: to improve the fitness of the offspring. Conflict with parents happens during adolescence because adolescents are learning to how to be independent adults, and that means challenging authority. Much respect to moms, but evolution does not give a shit about the mom once the offspring develops reproductive ability. Evolution does not give a shit about anything, really; I would not look to evolution to explain why people should be good to their moms.
- watwut 8y ago
  > Teenage/parent conflict is certainly not a new phenomenon. You can find examples in stories almost as far back as there are records of stories. So are conflicts between siblings of any age or spouses or friends. We however do not treat good relationship between the two as exception and toxic relationship as expected development the way some do it with teenagers. Also, as a parent in current society, I suspect it is not so much child starting to see itself as distinct from parent at age of 14 (the kid should get it sooner), but more of parent loosing control. Teenagers were and will be moody and emotional due to biological reasons. However, a lot of other conflicts has to do with expectations and lifestyles.
throwvet90 8y ago
> Kids have been sexualized and have to grow up too quickly. Kids have been made into tiny workers that do busy work for most of their childhood, away from their parents, because both parents have to work. > It's dystopian, disgusting and perverted Correct me if I'm wrong, but for most of history, weren't "kids" already married and working to support a family when they were in their teens? I know my grandparents, my great-grandparents, and a few before them were married before they turned 18. And two of my grandparents told me they worked at a factory when they were around 7! Add to the fact that if you got married and then moved to another state, it could be years before you see your parents again. After my paternal great-grandmother got married at 16 and moved across the country, she never saw her parents again. They did exchange letters but that was it. And according to my grandfather (her son), it was pretty common.
- gowld 8y ago
  Teenage marriages were not the norm. https://www.google.com/search?q=average+age+of+marriage+historical https://www.google.com/search?q=average+age+of+marriage+hist... https://www.infoplease.com/us/marital-status/median-age-first-marriage-1890-2010 https://www.infoplease.com/us/marital-status/median-age-firs... Median Age at First Marriage, 1890–2010 Year Males Females 1890 26.1 22.0
- Nasrudith 8y ago
  Yeah this is very not new at all. Before industrialization they were tiny workers that did actual work on the farm when both parents were working. Those lucky enough to be nobility were trained from a young age in the various areas a noble needed to know. Marriages tended to be a bit older among peasants just because there was 'less of a point' but nobility had marriages at 12 or so - and not even always with a comparable age partner. Certainly not stating that this is /right/ but the point is that normal doesn't really mean much and don't look to the past for arcadia. Really historically if anything kids are growing up 'slower' than they were for centuries - and that is a far better adaptation to our current needs - we need more skilled specialist work outproduces manual labor thousand fold.
  - Izkata 8y ago
fossuser 8y ago
Maybe, maybe not - something doesn’t have to be pleasant to be advantageous and unpleasant things can be selected either directly or for other reasons. I would also guess that sexuality is delayed later today than historically. https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Group_selection https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Group_selection
walrus01 8y ago
> The idea that the family has become such a secondary consideration in modern society, to the point that this mother is advocating to others mothers about the opportunity to vicariously know your own child via the Internet... Teenagers have been sneaking around behind their parents' backs, trying to assert their own newfound agency and independence, long before the Internet existed. I'm sure parents in the 1960s worried about their 16 years olds "smoking the reefer" and socializing together in groups, late at night, without adult supervision. I don't think it's unusual at all for a teenager to consciously make a decision not to share every detail of their personal life with their parents, so it's logical that if you want to know what they're really discussing amongst their peer group, look at their social media profiles.
nl 8y ago
This is - of course - historically wrong. Through most of history, in terms of "general", "average" lifestyle both parents have worked from dawn to dusk doing manual labor or. If they saw their (over ~6 yo) children during this time it was because the children were working with them. It's always been normal for children to grow up and be less known to their parents. 20 years ago the same people would complain how their kids would go to the mall and they'd never know what they were doing. The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. -- Socrates, ~420BC.
- njarboe 8y ago
  This famous quote by Socrates was likely make up by William L. Patty and Louise S. Johnson in Personality and Adjustment on page 277 in the fifties (1953). If Plato actually did mention this as a saying of Socrates was later (1966) researched and evidence of the quote existing was found lacking.[1] https://www.bartleby.com/73/195.html https://www.bartleby.com/73/195.html
  - nl 8y ago
    Actually.. It's not as simple as that (of course). There are no primary sources of Socrates, so there are questions around anything from him. However, in this case it seems to have come from a summary of Greek thinking written by Kenneth John Freeman in 1907[1]. It seems likely one of his sources was "a paraphrase of a quote (lines 961–985) from Aristophanes' The Clouds, a comedic play known for its caricature of Socrates."[2] This information apparently came to light when Google Books scanned the Freeman essay, so the researcher quoted by Bartleby (in 1966) didn't know of it. Furthermore, Plato did complain about this behavior[3] and much of what we know of Socrates comes via Plato. Edit: Doing some primary sources research on Google books found the quote used in a 1947 newspaper edition[4]! And here is another from 1944[5]. That's interesting.. although I can't access the source itself so perhaps Google has mis-parsed the date? More work: https://archive.org/stream/crescent_1928-30/cr_v40_n14#page/n3/mode/2up https://archive.org/stream/crescent_1928-30/cr_v40_n14#page/... from 1928 (!) [1] https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/ https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/ [2] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Socrates#Misattributed https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Socrates#Misattributed [3] http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=plat.+rep.+8.562e http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=plat.+rep.+8.56... [4] https://books.google.com.au/books?id=5H8VAAAAIAAJ&q=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&dq=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiQ-YKW4JbfAhXIfSsKHXa1DTU4ChDoAQgxMAI https://books.google.com.au/books?id=5H8VAAAAIAAJ&q=%22The+c... [5] https://books.google.com.au/books?id=q2IwAQAAMAAJ&q=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&dq=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiM6byW4ZbfAhVCcCsKHUDgC7s4HhDoAQg1MAI https://books.google.com.au/books?id=q2IwAQAAMAAJ&q=%22The+c...
watwut 8y ago
Isnt kids sexualization mostly in adults mind? Girls just want to wear same things as adults and adults interpret it badly.
mirimir 8y ago
Childhood has changed a lot in recent centuries.[0] Now, in most developed nations, at least, it's child-focused. And as hard as that may sometimes be for parents, it's a great thing. 0) The History of Childhood by Lloyd DeMause (1995).
Arn_Thor 8y ago
You could be right. But evolution is full of examples of adversity and pain in the short run has long term benefits. Illness breeds resistance, bacteria strengthen the immune system, exertion leads to regrowth of stronger muscles. Perhaps the transition to adulthood must be difficult and tough and painful and challenging simply because an adult is a person that has faced all that and learned and grown stronger, smarter and kinder? Where was their childhood when my parents had to go look for the sheep in the mountains all by themselves, even as they had just started in school? When their favorite little lamb that they had cared for for years became dinner? When the parents were too busy trying to scrape together enough food for winter to play with them or look after them? My point isn't that things were much worse then, but that it's never been easy. Things are just difficult in a different way.
pjc50 8y ago
> grow up too soon When she was fourteen, my wife's mother was sent out to work in a carpet factory by her parents. Because that was the earliest age at which she could be withdrawn from school. The past was not an Eden from which we have been outcast. > evolution All that evolution can promise is strategies that have a reasonably good chance of perpetuating some of your genetics. It certainly doesn't promise to keep you happy or even alive after you've had children.
75dvtwin 8y ago
@nickysielicki I agree with your sentiment. Children always had peer influence. But the accessible sexualized media streams -- have become an overpowering influence. It is so powerful, that many have been brainwashed to think that it is 'normal' and just the sign of modern times. Just like you, I do not think so. Just looking at the salary/compensation of the folks in the enterainment industry (moves/sports/etc) -- it shows how disproportion their influence and reach is, compared to any other historical presedent. Clearly, enterntainer skills have been 'multipled' by the TV, and now internet explosion. That makes them very influential as well as accessible. It is not engineers/statesman/doctors/accomplished military personnel -- that drive the 'standards' and the influence. It is, instead the folks from sports, entertainment and fashion industries. They have their own set of standards (or whatever you might call that) -- it is based on sexuality, appearance, being funny, being dismissive and 'outspoken' for something. The above traits, when fire-housed on our kids through the they information channels, are very difficult for us as parents -- to manage/reason about.
Chris2048 8y ago
> When feel something isn't right, it's a good indicator that something isn't the way it's supposed to be according to "evolution", which only cares about survival of the fittest. Those emotions may be entirely self-serving.

adrianN 8y ago

I think that children used to be independent much earlier before humans invented agriculture. By your mid to late teens your body is developed enough to survive on your own and have children of your own. The evolutionary advantage in a hunter-gatherer society of making parents miserable is encouraging offspring from separating from their parents to start families of their own and not compete for the same resources. You see it with all kinds of animals. And if I'm not mistaken it wasn't at all unusual until fairly recently for daughters to be married off and for sons to start an apprenticeship in their late teens. Only the necessity for decades of education for getting a job keeps children dependent on their parents so long.

captain_chester 8y ago

Well said.

Eridrus 8y ago

One theory exists that teenagers sleep cycle is offset from parents so that they can more easily socialise with each other without parental interference. There could be plenty of reasons our hormones have evolved to make us act in ways that parents do not like.

rdtsc 8y ago

> The idea that the family has become such a secondary consideration in modern society, to the point that this mother is advocating to others mothers about the opportunity to vicariously know your own child via the Internet... It's nothing short of heartbreaking. Great point. At the same time, I think there is an evolutionary pressure to rebel and fight against parental control. Those that were obedient and stayed quietly at home might have never ventured out to explore and discover new things. Eventually those that did, ended up spreading their genes better so to speak. If parent don't know what you're doing, they can't control you and tell you what to do. Also I think at one level, parents might say, "don't stay up late", "don't date this or that person", "don't to go the dance club". But at the same time if the child listened and actually stayed in the house and were as obedient as the parent insists, they might eventually disappoint the parent. Another thing that I observed is that some parents cannot handle this rebelliousness well and it spirals out of control. Ultimatums being uttered, other drastic measures, police being called etc.

snowwrestler 8y ago

I think your sentiment is well-meaning but maybe a bit dangerous. It's setting up an unrealistic expectation of how adolescence "should" be, which risks leading parents to blame themselves or their kids when it doesn't turn out that way. Because it's extremely unlikely to turn out that way. Adolescents are frequently at odds with their parents for the same reason 3 year olds are famous for temper tantrums: because it is part of the normal development of the human mind. Infants make no distinction between themselves and their parents; adults understand the difference completely. It takes about 18-20 years for that to develop, and there are well-known milestones along the way. Teenage/parent conflict is certainly not a new phenomenon. You can find examples in stories almost as far back as there are records of stories. > Conscious thought may deliver us to emotion, but the emotion that you arrive at is something that has always been inside of you. Emotion precedes conscious thought; a big part of growing up is learning how to use conscious thought to identify, understand, and manage emotions. For very young children, emotion can be terrifying; it's great to feel happy but suddenly they might feel bad, angry, have scary thoughts, etc.--and it's all unexpected and unexplained. Teenage years are difficult because an entirely new set of powerful emotions, related to love and sex, emerge and the teenage conscious mind has to learn how to deal with them. > What is the evolutionary advantage of making mothers miserable as a necessary part of producing offspring? The answer to this obvious: to improve the fitness of the offspring. Conflict with parents happens during adolescence because adolescents are learning to how to be independent adults, and that means challenging authority. Much respect to moms, but evolution does not give a shit about the mom once the offspring develops reproductive ability. Evolution does not give a shit about anything, really; I would not look to evolution to explain why people should be good to their moms.

watwut 8y ago
> Teenage/parent conflict is certainly not a new phenomenon. You can find examples in stories almost as far back as there are records of stories. So are conflicts between siblings of any age or spouses or friends. We however do not treat good relationship between the two as exception and toxic relationship as expected development the way some do it with teenagers. Also, as a parent in current society, I suspect it is not so much child starting to see itself as distinct from parent at age of 14 (the kid should get it sooner), but more of parent loosing control. Teenagers were and will be moody and emotional due to biological reasons. However, a lot of other conflicts has to do with expectations and lifestyles.

throwvet90 8y ago

> Kids have been sexualized and have to grow up too quickly. Kids have been made into tiny workers that do busy work for most of their childhood, away from their parents, because both parents have to work. > It's dystopian, disgusting and perverted Correct me if I'm wrong, but for most of history, weren't "kids" already married and working to support a family when they were in their teens? I know my grandparents, my great-grandparents, and a few before them were married before they turned 18. And two of my grandparents told me they worked at a factory when they were around 7! Add to the fact that if you got married and then moved to another state, it could be years before you see your parents again. After my paternal great-grandmother got married at 16 and moved across the country, she never saw her parents again. They did exchange letters but that was it. And according to my grandfather (her son), it was pretty common.

gowld 8y ago
Teenage marriages were not the norm. https://www.google.com/search?q=average+age+of+marriage+historical https://www.google.com/search?q=average+age+of+marriage+hist... https://www.infoplease.com/us/marital-status/median-age-first-marriage-1890-2010 https://www.infoplease.com/us/marital-status/median-age-firs... Median Age at First Marriage, 1890–2010 Year Males Females 1890 26.1 22.0
Nasrudith 8y ago
Yeah this is very not new at all. Before industrialization they were tiny workers that did actual work on the farm when both parents were working. Those lucky enough to be nobility were trained from a young age in the various areas a noble needed to know. Marriages tended to be a bit older among peasants just because there was 'less of a point' but nobility had marriages at 12 or so - and not even always with a comparable age partner. Certainly not stating that this is /right/ but the point is that normal doesn't really mean much and don't look to the past for arcadia. Really historically if anything kids are growing up 'slower' than they were for centuries - and that is a far better adaptation to our current needs - we need more skilled specialist work outproduces manual labor thousand fold.
- Izkata 8y ago

fossuser 8y ago

Maybe, maybe not - something doesn’t have to be pleasant to be advantageous and unpleasant things can be selected either directly or for other reasons. I would also guess that sexuality is delayed later today than historically. https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Group_selection https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Group_selection

walrus01 8y ago

> The idea that the family has become such a secondary consideration in modern society, to the point that this mother is advocating to others mothers about the opportunity to vicariously know your own child via the Internet... Teenagers have been sneaking around behind their parents' backs, trying to assert their own newfound agency and independence, long before the Internet existed. I'm sure parents in the 1960s worried about their 16 years olds "smoking the reefer" and socializing together in groups, late at night, without adult supervision. I don't think it's unusual at all for a teenager to consciously make a decision not to share every detail of their personal life with their parents, so it's logical that if you want to know what they're really discussing amongst their peer group, look at their social media profiles.

nl 8y ago

This is - of course - historically wrong. Through most of history, in terms of "general", "average" lifestyle both parents have worked from dawn to dusk doing manual labor or. If they saw their (over ~6 yo) children during this time it was because the children were working with them. It's always been normal for children to grow up and be less known to their parents. 20 years ago the same people would complain how their kids would go to the mall and they'd never know what they were doing. The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. -- Socrates, ~420BC.

njarboe 8y ago
This famous quote by Socrates was likely make up by William L. Patty and Louise S. Johnson in Personality and Adjustment on page 277 in the fifties (1953). If Plato actually did mention this as a saying of Socrates was later (1966) researched and evidence of the quote existing was found lacking.[1] https://www.bartleby.com/73/195.html https://www.bartleby.com/73/195.html
- nl 8y ago
  Actually.. It's not as simple as that (of course). There are no primary sources of Socrates, so there are questions around anything from him. However, in this case it seems to have come from a summary of Greek thinking written by Kenneth John Freeman in 1907[1]. It seems likely one of his sources was "a paraphrase of a quote (lines 961–985) from Aristophanes' The Clouds, a comedic play known for its caricature of Socrates."[2] This information apparently came to light when Google Books scanned the Freeman essay, so the researcher quoted by Bartleby (in 1966) didn't know of it. Furthermore, Plato did complain about this behavior[3] and much of what we know of Socrates comes via Plato. Edit: Doing some primary sources research on Google books found the quote used in a 1947 newspaper edition[4]! And here is another from 1944[5]. That's interesting.. although I can't access the source itself so perhaps Google has mis-parsed the date? More work: https://archive.org/stream/crescent_1928-30/cr_v40_n14#page/n3/mode/2up https://archive.org/stream/crescent_1928-30/cr_v40_n14#page/... from 1928 (!) [1] https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/ https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/ [2] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Socrates#Misattributed https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Socrates#Misattributed [3] http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=plat.+rep.+8.562e http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=plat.+rep.+8.56... [4] https://books.google.com.au/books?id=5H8VAAAAIAAJ&q=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&dq=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiQ-YKW4JbfAhXIfSsKHXa1DTU4ChDoAQgxMAI https://books.google.com.au/books?id=5H8VAAAAIAAJ&q=%22The+c... [5] https://books.google.com.au/books?id=q2IwAQAAMAAJ&q=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&dq=%22The+children+now+love+luxury%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiM6byW4ZbfAhVCcCsKHUDgC7s4HhDoAQg1MAI https://books.google.com.au/books?id=q2IwAQAAMAAJ&q=%22The+c...

watwut 8y ago

Isnt kids sexualization mostly in adults mind? Girls just want to wear same things as adults and adults interpret it badly.

mirimir 8y ago

Childhood has changed a lot in recent centuries.[0] Now, in most developed nations, at least, it's child-focused. And as hard as that may sometimes be for parents, it's a great thing. 0) The History of Childhood by Lloyd DeMause (1995).

Arn_Thor 8y ago

You could be right. But evolution is full of examples of adversity and pain in the short run has long term benefits. Illness breeds resistance, bacteria strengthen the immune system, exertion leads to regrowth of stronger muscles. Perhaps the transition to adulthood must be difficult and tough and painful and challenging simply because an adult is a person that has faced all that and learned and grown stronger, smarter and kinder? Where was their childhood when my parents had to go look for the sheep in the mountains all by themselves, even as they had just started in school? When their favorite little lamb that they had cared for for years became dinner? When the parents were too busy trying to scrape together enough food for winter to play with them or look after them? My point isn't that things were much worse then, but that it's never been easy. Things are just difficult in a different way.

pjc50 8y ago

> grow up too soon When she was fourteen, my wife's mother was sent out to work in a carpet factory by her parents. Because that was the earliest age at which she could be withdrawn from school. The past was not an Eden from which we have been outcast. > evolution All that evolution can promise is strategies that have a reasonably good chance of perpetuating some of your genetics. It certainly doesn't promise to keep you happy or even alive after you've had children.

75dvtwin 8y ago

@nickysielicki I agree with your sentiment. Children always had peer influence. But the accessible sexualized media streams -- have become an overpowering influence. It is so powerful, that many have been brainwashed to think that it is 'normal' and just the sign of modern times. Just like you, I do not think so. Just looking at the salary/compensation of the folks in the enterainment industry (moves/sports/etc) -- it shows how disproportion their influence and reach is, compared to any other historical presedent. Clearly, enterntainer skills have been 'multipled' by the TV, and now internet explosion. That makes them very influential as well as accessible. It is not engineers/statesman/doctors/accomplished military personnel -- that drive the 'standards' and the influence. It is, instead the folks from sports, entertainment and fashion industries. They have their own set of standards (or whatever you might call that) -- it is based on sexuality, appearance, being funny, being dismissive and 'outspoken' for something. The above traits, when fire-housed on our kids through the they information channels, are very difficult for us as parents -- to manage/reason about.

Chris2048 8y ago

> When feel something isn't right, it's a good indicator that something isn't the way it's supposed to be according to "evolution", which only cares about survival of the fittest. Those emotions may be entirely self-serving.