From what you say, you have what you consider a personal problem that you want to work on (at work or not). If you search the HN archives you'll probably find

From what you say, you have what you consider a personal problem that you want to work on (at work or not). If you search the HN archives you'll probably find tons of advice for networking, making sincere friends, changing careers, etc. You may also benefit from therapy. Best wishes!