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> For parents sick of hearing “Almost done. One last game”: What’s worked for us: (1) Don’t freak, they’re not addicted (the pathologizing of gaming may do more

> For parents sick of hearing “Almost done. One last game”: What’s worked for us: (1) Don’t freak, they’re not addicted (the pathologizing of gaming may do more harm than the games themselves) (2) set a timer & provide consistent consequences (without anger) when they go over..13/N On a semi-related note. When I was a kid my parents used to make us quit our gaming session with little to no warning. This wasn't a big issue with single player games because they can be saved/paused, but that's obviously not possible with online multiplayer games. Unfortunately, that didn't matter to them, and it resulted in many interrupted gaming sessions and unnecessary consequences and behavioral issues from me and my siblings. Now that I'm a parent, I've made a promise to my kids that I will always let them finish their current game before kicking them off. If they start a new game after they've been given the last game warning, then there's consequences. They know this, and we rarely have any issues related to behavior and gaming.

r00fus 8y ago
Timers are key. I have a special needs kid, and timers are doubly needed. For now I just say "20m" set the kitchen timer and when it rings, all the kids have to e.g. come to dinner. I wish there were some good method for kids to "earn" screen time (ie, parent could add/approve) that would be automatically deducted on usage of the device(s) (with blackout times where usage isn't possible).
- rootusrootus 8y ago
  For iOS devices, Screen Time does that. My kids have iPads and I set certain hours they are allowed to be used at all, time limits per day, and if they run out of time they can ask for more and I can approve via my watch/phone. I set the daily time limit pretty low and then give them opportunities to earn a bit more, which I dynamically add to their total.
wlesieutre 8y ago
>This wasn't a big issue with single player games because they can be saved/paused "I need to get to a save room!" "You can pause it." 5 minutes later "I unplugged the gamecube because you weren't playing anymore." ...
- worldstarhiphop 8y ago
  Sounds like an excerpt from Bojack Horseman
  - c0nducktr 8y ago
    You're right! I can definitely read it and hear an exchange between Todd and BoJack.
vrazj 8y ago
>Now that I'm a parent, I've made a promise to my kids that I will always let them finish their current game before kicking them off. If they start a new game after they've been given the last game warning, then there's consequences. They know this, and we rarely have any issues related to behavior and gaming. This is good but most parents don't really know how games work so they can't look at the UI to see if their children are lying.
- detaro 8y ago
  Luckily they have kids that can explain the games to them.
  - baldfat 8y ago
    Making an effort to learn about your child's interest in one of the most beneficial things you can do as a parent.
  - Pfhreak 8y ago
    So much this. I'm a parent. I'm a game developer. I'm a former kid who dreamed that someday my parents would sit down and ask me to show them what I was doing. You should know what your kids are playing, and what better way than to show interest in their hobbies. (And, like, maybe talk about it afterwards?)
    - watwut 8y ago
      The amount of time required to play most games is extremely high and expectation that parent should spend so much time with something parent does not like completely absurd. There is also a moment where gamers should understand that the world does not revolt around them nor their games. When everybody is helping preparing dinner and what not, or expected to be on time, there is no rational reason to give the gamer exceptions.
      - ryanlol 8y ago
        Is it really absurd to expect parents to show just a little bit of interest in their kids hobbies? >There is also a moment where gamers should understand that the world does not revolt around them nor their games Is it really unreasonable for children to expect their parents world to pretty much revolve around them?
kgwxd 8y ago
I try to think of it like they're playing in a physical room full of their friends. I wouldn't suddenly barge in and drag them out by the arm.
- Humdeee 8y ago
  I remember many years ago trying to explain to my father that I can't "just quit" as there was someone else on the other side. He didn't believe me and took a few seconds to watch. This was a 1v1 style game (starcraft brood war). Typing out "hello" into the chat prompt was met with "shut the f--- up and play, fag" from my opponent. He was actually an online friend. I was maybe 12. My father got the picture, but he yanked out the dial up for a while.
celticninja 8y ago
Yeah it works both ways, I know what can and can't be saved so I know if you can pause immediately or not. If not, the end of the game is fine and if so I expect it to be paused PDQ. I also give 5 or 10 minute warnings so they dont start a new game.
swsieber 8y ago
I think most of the time you'll know when you'll need to interrupt them (e.g. dinner at a regular time). In that case, I'd say - be off by this time. They can learn to plan ahead and give themselves the needed headroom if they want to avoid the negative consequences.
deytempo 8y ago
Almost done with this one last game of Civilization V mom.

r00fus 8y ago

Timers are key. I have a special needs kid, and timers are doubly needed. For now I just say "20m" set the kitchen timer and when it rings, all the kids have to e.g. come to dinner. I wish there were some good method for kids to "earn" screen time (ie, parent could add/approve) that would be automatically deducted on usage of the device(s) (with blackout times where usage isn't possible).

rootusrootus 8y ago
For iOS devices, Screen Time does that. My kids have iPads and I set certain hours they are allowed to be used at all, time limits per day, and if they run out of time they can ask for more and I can approve via my watch/phone. I set the daily time limit pretty low and then give them opportunities to earn a bit more, which I dynamically add to their total.

wlesieutre 8y ago

>This wasn't a big issue with single player games because they can be saved/paused "I need to get to a save room!" "You can pause it." 5 minutes later "I unplugged the gamecube because you weren't playing anymore." ...

worldstarhiphop 8y ago
Sounds like an excerpt from Bojack Horseman
- c0nducktr 8y ago
  You're right! I can definitely read it and hear an exchange between Todd and BoJack.

vrazj 8y ago

>Now that I'm a parent, I've made a promise to my kids that I will always let them finish their current game before kicking them off. If they start a new game after they've been given the last game warning, then there's consequences. They know this, and we rarely have any issues related to behavior and gaming. This is good but most parents don't really know how games work so they can't look at the UI to see if their children are lying.

detaro 8y ago
Luckily they have kids that can explain the games to them.
- baldfat 8y ago
  Making an effort to learn about your child's interest in one of the most beneficial things you can do as a parent.
- Pfhreak 8y ago
  So much this. I'm a parent. I'm a game developer. I'm a former kid who dreamed that someday my parents would sit down and ask me to show them what I was doing. You should know what your kids are playing, and what better way than to show interest in their hobbies. (And, like, maybe talk about it afterwards?)
  - watwut 8y ago
    The amount of time required to play most games is extremely high and expectation that parent should spend so much time with something parent does not like completely absurd. There is also a moment where gamers should understand that the world does not revolt around them nor their games. When everybody is helping preparing dinner and what not, or expected to be on time, there is no rational reason to give the gamer exceptions.
    - ryanlol 8y ago
      Is it really absurd to expect parents to show just a little bit of interest in their kids hobbies? >There is also a moment where gamers should understand that the world does not revolt around them nor their games Is it really unreasonable for children to expect their parents world to pretty much revolve around them?

kgwxd 8y ago

I try to think of it like they're playing in a physical room full of their friends. I wouldn't suddenly barge in and drag them out by the arm.

Humdeee 8y ago
I remember many years ago trying to explain to my father that I can't "just quit" as there was someone else on the other side. He didn't believe me and took a few seconds to watch. This was a 1v1 style game (starcraft brood war). Typing out "hello" into the chat prompt was met with "shut the f--- up and play, fag" from my opponent. He was actually an online friend. I was maybe 12. My father got the picture, but he yanked out the dial up for a while.

celticninja 8y ago

Yeah it works both ways, I know what can and can't be saved so I know if you can pause immediately or not. If not, the end of the game is fine and if so I expect it to be paused PDQ. I also give 5 or 10 minute warnings so they dont start a new game.

swsieber 8y ago

I think most of the time you'll know when you'll need to interrupt them (e.g. dinner at a regular time). In that case, I'd say - be off by this time. They can learn to plan ahead and give themselves the needed headroom if they want to avoid the negative consequences.

deytempo 8y ago

Almost done with this one last game of Civilization V mom.