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Love him. Unconditionally. And make sure he always knows it. Everything else is just details. With this, things will inevitably fall nicely into place, no m
by edw519 16y ago
Love him. Unconditionally. And make sure he always knows it.
Everything else is just details.
With this, things will inevitably fall nicely into place, no matter what tactics you take.
Without it, he will be fucked up no matter what you do and will be coming to hacker news in 2028 posting, "Ask HN: I'm confused and depressed and don't know why."
- pavel_lishin 16y agoAlso, be sure to feed him and provide him with all the water and oxygen he needs.
- 9ec4c12949a4f3 16y agoI grew up confused and depressed, meanwhile, my parents did their best to show me every day they loved me and still do, but I feel entirely distant from them. I'm over 20 years old. GG logic, gg.
- Tichy 16y agoAny idea why?
- 9ec4c12949a4f3 16y agoCould be anything from my wildly different views on the world (theism vs atheism; government's place, opinions of other people, etc...), to being the middle child. My two sisters seem to get along fine with them.
- Oxryly 16y agoTragically, it's necessary but not sufficient.
- antareus 16y agoThis may sound extreme but one way to choose to view the confusion and depression is that it is a necessary part of growth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration Mind you, even Dabrowski (who created the theory) differentiates between depression that instigates changes vs. depression that leaves you spinning your wheels. I'd venture that anyone who has been seriously depressed has experience with both types.
- awzum 16y agoI slightly disagree. Obviously love him, but don't smother and coddle him. Spend as much time as possible interacting with him as well as teaching independence and to think on his own. Interaction is the key.
- albertcardona 16y agoMeta: interesting that you think HN will exist in a recognizable form by 2028. 18 years ago, the web looked very different. I wonder what will we call "web" in 2028.
- pavel_lishin 16y agoHow do you mean? People still used browsers to make requests over http, didn't they? Actually, I guess there was a lot of text-based interaction going on, come to think of it. Telnet, etc. Hm.
- 9ec4c12949a4f3 16y agoI still telnet. So much fun! Wish gopher's were still around. I was thinking of using a gopher to do a blog with.
- araneae 16y agoI'm sorry, I really dislike this answer. Obviously this guy knows that he should love his kid. He was looking for specific answers on how to introduce the kid to computing. And you gave him this glib, content-less, greeting card answer. I cannot believe this is the top comment.
- pavel_lishin 16y agoIt's not the highest scoring one, by far. How is the algorithm determined?
- codexon 16y agoAge and average comment karma.
- Tichy 16y agoWhy is it obvious? If it was so obvious, there wouldn't be so many parents failing in it (many perhaps unwillingly).
- pavel_lishin 16y agoAnd yet, if those parents read that comment, they wouldn't have an overnight change of heart.
- signal 16y agoPeople fail at obvious all the time. Examples: Belief in god, Smoking, Voting conservative, Racism, Drinking and driving, Eating junk food, etc, etc
- deleted 16y ago[deleted]
- Calamitous 16y agoMy takeaway was more along the lines of "Don't worry so much about optimizing his learning path just yet. Love him and care for him and everything will work itself out. We all want what's best for our children. Unfortunately, this frequently turns into crazy helicopter parenting and a hyperfocus on academics, sports, and activities. I love my son and I want him to be the best he can be, but I'm more than willing to trade a few of his future IQ points to never ever let him wonder if he's loved for himself, or just his accomplishments.
- KoZeN 16y agoWith all due respect, this much is blatantly obvious but not necessarily the key to giving him a head start. My father loved me unconditionally and I can't think of a single moment of my childhood where I ever questioned his love for me but with that said, my childhood was a mess. I sincerely struggled at school, I lacked any decent social skills and I was incredibly naïve when it came to how the world worked. Whilst I'm happy that I've overcome these obstacles, I can think of plenty my father could have done to counter-act them in the first place. Like every other father (and mother) that participates in this community, I would move mountains for my boy. I would happily lay my own life on the line to protect him and the question I initially asked was based on the assumption that the basic fundamentals of being a good parent were a given. Now that those bases are covered, what can I do to ensure that he is at least one step ahead of the average kid growing up in a world where technology develops at an incredible rate and those who embrace this change storm ahead of the mean?