7 ms·
This sort of fear-based hypercorrection, a misguided but not necessarily ineffective form of risk avoidance, happens in many walks of life. The same calculus is
by temp-dude-87844 8y ago
This sort of fear-based hypercorrection, a misguided but not necessarily ineffective form of risk avoidance, happens in many walks of life. The same calculus is at the root of non-lower-class whites (as well as nearly everyone of high status) in the US avoiding neighborhoods with blacks and latinos. To them, the visible race serves as a proxy to all sorts of unpleasantness they wish to avoid, purely on correlation, and even as racism has moved more and more towards being publicly unacceptable, the habits of racist behavior remain because, unfortunately, of their perceived utility by those who apply them.
The utility function here is similar. The men in these situations have a lot to lose because they're in positions of power, yet live in relative obscurity without the social support system afforded to well-known public figures. They may or may not engage in behavior that's actually sexist, and they may or may not engage in behavior that's sexual harassment. False accusations of sexual assault, by all indications, are rare, and any accusation is reputationally costly to accusers in many ways. Data about false accusations of sexual harassment is harder to come by, as it's rarely treated as a criminal matter. But the statistics don't matter when the drastic outcome is so dire: if any of these men were to be accused, the current political climate ensures their careers and reputations will meet a swift end. To many, this is an unacceptable risk that requires mitigation.
- swiley 8y ago>False accusations of sexual assault, by all indications, are rare, Personally I've seen just about as many false accusations as true ones. It's not always the woman that makes the accusation, some men use it to hurt other men they don't like.
- TomVDB 8y agoHow many false and true accusations have you seen? I'm close to 50, and I've personally never seen either.
- ryanmercer 8y ago>How many false and true accusations have you seen? I've been accused by some random online that I never met. A friend of mine rejected a woman on okcupid, she then made accounts both in his name and various women's names on the former site 'cheaterville' and reported that he gave her multiple sexually transmitted diseases including HIV which cost him an acting job becuase it was the first thing that came up when you googled his name and despite he and I both having screenshots of this psychotic individual attacking him via multiple forms of communication threatening him if he wouldn't go out with her they said 'get it removed or we can't have you be part of the production'. A few years ago at my current employer a woman alleged I sent her all sorts of inappropriate text messages and provided screenshots. One problem, she used an iOS device and all of the messages allegedly from me, were in the color bubble of the recipient not the sender meaning she messaged herself then deleted the wrong color bubbles. So there's 3, 2 of them involving me, all in the past decade. Then Saturday on a friend's IG post about a candle sale at Bath & Body works I commented "Such a girl" a local newspaper reporter than replied to my comment: "Oh ZANG, you sure diminished her! Girls are stupid, with their genders and stuff, lol, amiright?!" To which I replied: "..." To which she replied: "Yes? I'm here." To which I replied: "there's something wrong with you. I made a simple comment a friend that I've known for 8 years post being playful. Not because I'm some woman shaming toxic card carrying member of hte patriarchy. Maybe try enjoying your life instead of lashing out at complete strangers on the internet there slugger" To which she replied: " Ah. Here, let me translate that for you: "I don't like being checked, so I'm going to gaslight and throw some phrases around to seem "woke" and then continue to diminish through patronizing name-calling". At which point I then contacted her immediate supervisor at her publication, his supervisor, the editor in chief as well as an employee of the parent company that owns the newspaper as this woman's IG profile starts "Downtown reporter at @newspapersheworksatsinstagram" as what she did is entirely uncalled for and not at all professional and if she's done this once, she's done it many times. So I have a local newspaper reporter putting words into my mouth, calling my character into question in a public forum, because I happen to have a penis and said 'such a girl' to a candle sale photograph on a post of someone that I've not only known for 8 years but have taken out several times over those years...
- mikelyons 8y agoI've been falsely accused, as have the half the men I've ever heard this topic from, people I know personally. I'm in one of the big 3 tech cities.
- dgzl 8y agoThis year I was falsely accused of stealing a girl's phone while in line for a dance club. A gaggle of probably-too-young girls started screaming about losing their phone, then they turned to me, who's alone in line, and loudly accuse me of stealing it. I screamed back at them and called them dumb, earning eyeballs from everyone around. After about a minute one of them finds their phone and they all just pretend like nothing happened. In an alternate universe, I was assaulted by the jocks in line who believe women first without evidence.
- interesthrow2 8y ago> The same calculus is at the root of non-lower-class whites (as well as nearly everyone of high status) in the US avoiding neighborhoods with blacks and latinos. You know what I'm black, my spouse is white, and what do I tell her? "better safe than sorry". Sure if my spouse acted that way, we would have never met. I believe in personal responsibility, I also believe we have a responsibility to display an image other than the one displayed by "statistics", Hollywood and other cheap entertainment. When a white woman changes sides of pavement when I walk toward her minding my own business, I understand. It breaks my heart but I understand.
- mikelyons 8y agoThose who are against racial interbreeding will be huge #meToo proponents simply because it will obviously have this effect of drastically increasing the risk of interracial relations, it'll become more like it used to be, the threat of legal violence will re-justify the male fear of approaching a woman he's attracted to. Only the violence wont be another man with a club like it once was, but the state being wielded as a cudgel by women and racists in influential cultural positions.
- dgzl 8y agoYou're not wrong, but business is different than personal life. Within my family and the people I trust, I'll say and do things that outsiders might not approve of, and it's none of their business. However in a business, the entire point is just business, and whatever it takes to make it better. The intersection of business and personal-trust is the grey area. Should I be square all the time at work, and mitigate as much risk as possible? Or can I relax on my break and try starting a conversion with the attractive woman eating by herself? The #meToo movement has shown that the grey area is certainly 'risky'.
- everdrive 8y agoIt's not perceived. Certain neighborhoods don't want some white guy strolling through. I was raised on the naive liberal ideals of the 90s ("I don't see race," etc) was served a dose of reality when I moved to Philly. I had a black friend and coworker, and when I walked on Giraud she'd get nervous about me. People would grimace at me, and mutter "white bitch" under their breath. Being as naive as I was, I was completely unprepared for it. Worse, it seems that if you mention this on the internet people counter with "that's not half as bad as X group has it." As if there's some race to win the "who had the harder life" competition. And anyone who's not in 1st place doesn't have the right to complain.