“We have incoming... Sound general quarters... Dive, dive, dive!!!” “Sorry, Cap’n, it’s doing updates.” “Can’t you hold down the power button?” “Uhhh... it s

“We have incoming... Sound general quarters... Dive, dive, dive!!!” “Sorry, Cap’n, it’s doing updates.” “Can’t you hold down the power button?” “Uhhh... it says not to do that.” “Well do it anyway sailor. Our lives depend on it!” ... “What’s it doing now?” “I don’t know... it looks like it isn’t booting.” “Try Safe Mode, sailor.” “OK, uhh... hold down... I want to say Windows-7 or F7 or...” ... “I don’t understand why these Americans are just giving up. Not one of them has fought back since the start of this war.”