3 ms·
The realities are a lot more mundane than your last paragraph tries to paint them. I was 29 when I finally got treatment (therapy + low dose of adderall). I had
by RickS 8y ago
The realities are a lot more mundane than your last paragraph tries to paint them. I was 29 when I finally got treatment (therapy + low dose of adderall). I had been making 100k for years. It's perfectly possible to have an okay life with ADHD.
But stuff falls through the cracks. You forget to brush your teeth. To pay your bills. There was a year when I was making over 150k and every single quarter, as often as was possible, my water got shut off to my house. I had to shower at the gym and call the company with my tail between my legs and pay over the phone and it was turned on 2 days later. I had the money. I had the desire to pay the water bill. I just... couldn't. It was stupid. I felt like a caveman, scared that a coworker in my open office would overhear this frantic call and wonder WTF was wrong in my life that I couldn't pay my water bill.
I turned down promotions onto the manager track because it felt ethically dubious to manage people when I couldn't even manage myself. Do you want a person who can't remember to pay their water bill to be pulling the strings of your career lader? I stayed on the IC Principal track to try and localize the logistical fallout of my inabilities.
It's a little better now. It's not the difference between homelessness and elon musk. It's the difference between a guy who pays his bills on time, has a clean dishwasher, and goes to the dentist, versus a guy who is constantly browbeaten by everyday life as the shit that most people think of as routine and invisible derails you over and over in tragicomic ways.
I'm not sure what statistic would capture that. On paper, barring a decrease in collections notices and faster email response time, I appear to be exactly the same person.
But my life is better now. There are still cracks in the sidewalk – my life is still pretty scattered, but you're not as likely to lose a leg when you trip on one.
- openasocket 8y agoAmen. I'm on medication but even with it I used to forget to pay bills frequently despite having the money. I'm better now, mostly because I have a loving and supportive fiancee who helps me organize my life.
- togedoge 8y agoThis is my experience being diagnosed with ADHD at 29 as well. Things seemed fine from the outside. Well paying, stable work. However, I had an incredibly difficult ability to do anything that needed intrinsic motivation, and my self-image began suffering as a result. I was constantly finding motivation from external factors and/or fear of rejection/failure and/or adrenaline to accomplish anything. The first time I took a central nervous system stimulant (Modafinil as a nootropic) I could suddenly book my dentist appointments, and book a doctor's appointment to talk about mental health, and book holidays I'd been putting off. And read several chapters of a book in one sitting. And make my bed and remember to brush my teeth. And check in with friends I hadn't heard from in a while. Normal life stuff. Is this what neurotypical people can do!? I wish my frontal lobes had more activation and bloodflow by themselves. My GP didn't understand how I could think I had a problem since I could maintain a 9-5. My family compared me to my less "obedient" ADHD older brother and never had me tested. I am pretty sure my mother has it but is in denial. Dr. Russell Barkley has some great videos explaining how ADHD is an intention disorder, and how knowing and doing are separate parts of the brain. Thanks for sharing! There's a lot of misinformation about ADHD out there. I'm glad that there are treatments that help right away (unlike most psychiatric conditions).