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I'm astonished that the columnist didn't advise something that seems blindingly obvious to me: find a therapist to talk to - not someone who's going to automati

I'm astonished that the columnist didn't advise something that seems blindingly obvious to me: find a therapist to talk to - not someone who's going to automatically say "have some Prozac" but someone outside yourself to talk with about these issues. That letter just screams depression (or maybe bipolar on a downswing), but some of it may be just needing to figure out where and what you want to be.

gtowey 8y ago
I came here to say the same thing. I actually feel kind of angry that the columnist failed to offer the only valid advice here.
wool_gather 8y ago
+1, and just to add some more perspective, "depression" comes in varying grades. It doesn't always mean locked in your bedroom for days on end with the shades drawn. Sometimes a person gets caught up in a sort of miasma of low-grade self-doubt and anxiety. Still able to go to work, do the shopping, etc., but lacking energy for things like maintaining friends, and ambition. It can be insidious, and without outside perspective -- either yourself years later, or someone who knows what they're looking at -- really hard to recognize (and fight).
ryanmercer 8y ago
> That letter just screams depression (or maybe bipolar on a downswing), Um no. It sounds like someone with no people to spend time with, that's living paycheck to paycheck, that is one financial emergency from financial ruin. That doesn't automatically equate depression. When you're worrying if somethings going to happen tomorrow that leaves you penniless that other people around you wouldn't even notice the cost of, and you don't have another human as an outlet and for reassurance, you get frustrated and angry and cold and distant and apathetic all at once. You have to or you go nuts. I don't see her as depressed at all, and unless you are licensed to practice mental health you haven't any business armchair diagnosing someone. See my parent comment in this thread, I'm not depressed. I've got a few hundred dollars to my name, a ged, no degree, have been rejected by multiple companies this year, will most likely contract and die of cancer before I die of old age, don't have anyone I can call to hang out with, don't have anyone to call if I have an emergency and need help, don't have anyone to ring me up and ask how my life is going without wanting something. I'm not depressed, I'm fucking tired. I imagine she's not depressed either, just tired. Worn out. In need of something to go in her favor for a change. It's perfectly normal to feel despair and frustration with your life, that doesn't automatically make you depressed. Try walking in her shoes, or my shoes, are millions of other shoes. We get out of bed in the morning and ranger the fuck up because we have to to survive. Just because we aren't excited to run off to our shitty jobs and come home to our empty lonely lives doesn't make us depressed, it makes us disadvantaged.
- fencepost 8y ago
  Disclaimer: no medical training whatsoever - and because of it in perfectly happy to recommend. There's not nearly enough here for real diagnosis. There's situation (which may be shitty, been there doing that even if I am playing life on the easy setting of straight white male) and there's also attitude /outlook/approach /how you feel. They influence each other, but they're not the same thing. Your situation may make you depressed, but it's not going to give you depression. On the other side, depression doesn't mean you're in a bad situation except that it includes depression which may make it terrible because it colors everything you perceive. No friends? Maybe, or maybe you can't recognize that people really are friends and do care because depression makes you feel that way. No prospects? Maybe, or maybe... There are a ton of ways that people get medicated (rightly or not) for depression and for some that may help, but for other people therapy to develop the ability to recognize what's going on and tackle it is going to be enough. Along with developing those skills the simple act of discussing problems with someone may also help a lot, and paying a consultant sorry therapist may mean that you take more from it because you're paying for it.

gtowey 8y ago

I came here to say the same thing. I actually feel kind of angry that the columnist failed to offer the only valid advice here.

wool_gather 8y ago

+1, and just to add some more perspective, "depression" comes in varying grades. It doesn't always mean locked in your bedroom for days on end with the shades drawn. Sometimes a person gets caught up in a sort of miasma of low-grade self-doubt and anxiety. Still able to go to work, do the shopping, etc., but lacking energy for things like maintaining friends, and ambition. It can be insidious, and without outside perspective -- either yourself years later, or someone who knows what they're looking at -- really hard to recognize (and fight).

ryanmercer 8y ago

> That letter just screams depression (or maybe bipolar on a downswing), Um no. It sounds like someone with no people to spend time with, that's living paycheck to paycheck, that is one financial emergency from financial ruin. That doesn't automatically equate depression. When you're worrying if somethings going to happen tomorrow that leaves you penniless that other people around you wouldn't even notice the cost of, and you don't have another human as an outlet and for reassurance, you get frustrated and angry and cold and distant and apathetic all at once. You have to or you go nuts. I don't see her as depressed at all, and unless you are licensed to practice mental health you haven't any business armchair diagnosing someone. See my parent comment in this thread, I'm not depressed. I've got a few hundred dollars to my name, a ged, no degree, have been rejected by multiple companies this year, will most likely contract and die of cancer before I die of old age, don't have anyone I can call to hang out with, don't have anyone to call if I have an emergency and need help, don't have anyone to ring me up and ask how my life is going without wanting something. I'm not depressed, I'm fucking tired. I imagine she's not depressed either, just tired. Worn out. In need of something to go in her favor for a change. It's perfectly normal to feel despair and frustration with your life, that doesn't automatically make you depressed. Try walking in her shoes, or my shoes, are millions of other shoes. We get out of bed in the morning and ranger the fuck up because we have to to survive. Just because we aren't excited to run off to our shitty jobs and come home to our empty lonely lives doesn't make us depressed, it makes us disadvantaged.

fencepost 8y ago
Disclaimer: no medical training whatsoever - and because of it in perfectly happy to recommend. There's not nearly enough here for real diagnosis. There's situation (which may be shitty, been there doing that even if I am playing life on the easy setting of straight white male) and there's also attitude /outlook/approach /how you feel. They influence each other, but they're not the same thing. Your situation may make you depressed, but it's not going to give you depression. On the other side, depression doesn't mean you're in a bad situation except that it includes depression which may make it terrible because it colors everything you perceive. No friends? Maybe, or maybe you can't recognize that people really are friends and do care because depression makes you feel that way. No prospects? Maybe, or maybe... There are a ton of ways that people get medicated (rightly or not) for depression and for some that may help, but for other people therapy to develop the ability to recognize what's going on and tackle it is going to be enough. Along with developing those skills the simple act of discussing problems with someone may also help a lot, and paying a consultant sorry therapist may mean that you take more from it because you're paying for it.