4 ms·

Or is it that majority of the people are so conscious about the way they look that they are more comfortable labeling themselves 'ugly' than let somebody else d

by nithyad 16y ago

Or is it that majority of the people are so conscious about the way they look that they are more comfortable labeling themselves 'ugly' than let somebody else do it!

Udo 16y ago
Nah, I'm pretty sure I'm ugly alright, and even if I wasn't there are several data points that make it kinda obvious: First, girls have repeatedly told me so. But just to make sure, I conducted an experiment by creating two accounts on a dating site: one using my real photos, the other using pics from a normal-looking (not overly attractive) man off the web. The "normal guy" got tons of winks and responses, while the real me got nothing as usual. Well, nothing is not quite true, I got a response from a girl who was apparently offended because I thought I was in her league... This pattern didn't change when I made the normal looking guy sound like a total douche on his profile. So, yes, I think this site is a great idea!
- nithyad 16y ago
  On this website, is everybody considered to be in the same league? At-least that way, one needn't fear offending anybody...I'm sure the female that you mentioned has low self esteem.
  - Udo 16y ago
    > On this website, is everybody considered to be in the same league? I have no idea, but at the very least I'd expect the people there to not be so focused on optics. Despite it all, my own self esteem isn't actually low, I'm just aware of a few shortcomings... > I'm sure the female that you mentioned has low self esteem. Probably, but it also taught me something important that I hadn't thought about before, because I hadn't even considered that getting a message from me would maybe confirm the doubts a person has about her own looks.
- mburney 16y ago
  You made the normal looking guy sound like a douche? That may be the reason he got so many winks and responses. Often being an arrogant douche can be mistaken for confidence and attractiveness.
  - Udo 16y ago
    You made the normal looking guy sound like a douche? That was after I concluded his test with a normal-sounding profile.
  - kls 16y ago
    Right, that was what I was thinking. Females love confidence whether it comes is the vessel of an asshole or a nice guy. I once had a girlfriend who I did not like, shallow as a wading pool. I made a bet with a buddy of mine that not only could I get her to break up with me, but I could get her to sleep with our other buddy (who was in on it). All I had to do was have a crisis of confidence in which I was no longer decisive, confident, surly arrogant in a humors way. No, I was spineless, Lilly-liveried. All the things my buddy was not, and I made sure to talk about how cool he was all the time, how he got all the girls and did I mention how cool he was. The buddy I made the bet with was floored at the surgical precision of the whole event and also at how so spiteful and hateful that she became towards me in the process. The events unfolded at my birthday party in which she slept with our friend in his bedroom. They talked for a little while, got up right in front of me, with no respect and no regard, went into the bedroom and shut the door. The buddy, I made the bet with's jaw was on the floor. I was smiling like the cat that ate the canary and everyone at the party is looking at me like, dude did that just happen to him.
    - sp4rki 16y ago
      I had a similar experience once. I'm a bit of an introvert, but have awesome social skills, and was teaching a friend of mine how anyone can get a hottie if he's confident enough. I got the hottie to go home with him by being confident first to lure her in, and then breaking down and making my friend look alpha in the process. His jaw also dropped when he realized it was that easy. He still sucks at getting women to do what he wants.
- timhastings 16y ago
  I love that you conducted A/B testing with different user profiles. That makes you more attractive to geeks :-)
  - TamDenholm 16y ago
    I'd love to read an in depth a/b test analysis on a dating site, tbh it sounds like something okcupid would happily do.

by nithyad 16y ago

Or is it that majority of the people are so conscious about the way they look that they are more comfortable labeling themselves 'ugly' than let somebody else do it!

Udo 16y ago

Nah, I'm pretty sure I'm ugly alright, and even if I wasn't there are several data points that make it kinda obvious: First, girls have repeatedly told me so. But just to make sure, I conducted an experiment by creating two accounts on a dating site: one using my real photos, the other using pics from a normal-looking (not overly attractive) man off the web. The "normal guy" got tons of winks and responses, while the real me got nothing as usual. Well, nothing is not quite true, I got a response from a girl who was apparently offended because I thought I was in her league... This pattern didn't change when I made the normal looking guy sound like a total douche on his profile. So, yes, I think this site is a great idea!

nithyad 16y ago
On this website, is everybody considered to be in the same league? At-least that way, one needn't fear offending anybody...I'm sure the female that you mentioned has low self esteem.
- Udo 16y ago
  > On this website, is everybody considered to be in the same league? I have no idea, but at the very least I'd expect the people there to not be so focused on optics. Despite it all, my own self esteem isn't actually low, I'm just aware of a few shortcomings... > I'm sure the female that you mentioned has low self esteem. Probably, but it also taught me something important that I hadn't thought about before, because I hadn't even considered that getting a message from me would maybe confirm the doubts a person has about her own looks.
mburney 16y ago
You made the normal looking guy sound like a douche? That may be the reason he got so many winks and responses. Often being an arrogant douche can be mistaken for confidence and attractiveness.
- Udo 16y ago
  You made the normal looking guy sound like a douche? That was after I concluded his test with a normal-sounding profile.
- kls 16y ago
  Right, that was what I was thinking. Females love confidence whether it comes is the vessel of an asshole or a nice guy. I once had a girlfriend who I did not like, shallow as a wading pool. I made a bet with a buddy of mine that not only could I get her to break up with me, but I could get her to sleep with our other buddy (who was in on it). All I had to do was have a crisis of confidence in which I was no longer decisive, confident, surly arrogant in a humors way. No, I was spineless, Lilly-liveried. All the things my buddy was not, and I made sure to talk about how cool he was all the time, how he got all the girls and did I mention how cool he was. The buddy I made the bet with was floored at the surgical precision of the whole event and also at how so spiteful and hateful that she became towards me in the process. The events unfolded at my birthday party in which she slept with our friend in his bedroom. They talked for a little while, got up right in front of me, with no respect and no regard, went into the bedroom and shut the door. The buddy, I made the bet with's jaw was on the floor. I was smiling like the cat that ate the canary and everyone at the party is looking at me like, dude did that just happen to him.
  - sp4rki 16y ago
    I had a similar experience once. I'm a bit of an introvert, but have awesome social skills, and was teaching a friend of mine how anyone can get a hottie if he's confident enough. I got the hottie to go home with him by being confident first to lure her in, and then breaking down and making my friend look alpha in the process. His jaw also dropped when he realized it was that easy. He still sucks at getting women to do what he wants.
timhastings 16y ago
I love that you conducted A/B testing with different user profiles. That makes you more attractive to geeks :-)
- TamDenholm 16y ago
  I'd love to read an in depth a/b test analysis on a dating site, tbh it sounds like something okcupid would happily do.