3 ms·

This really isn't an issue for anyone who has used any sort of sensible definition of "friend" when making and accepting requests. If you go with "anyone who a

This really isn't an issue for anyone who has used any sort of sensible definition of "friend" when making and accepting requests. If you go with "anyone who asks" as your definition then you really shouldn't be surprised at a lack of intimacy. Feels like a case of "people misuse software, blame software".

aswanson 16y ago
I disagree. All friends aren't created equal, and I don't want certain people hearing certain statements I make. Not that I distrust them, its just where our relationship is. I find it incredibly annoying to see older family "liking" status comments I make on pages of people they don't even know. After I delete the link to the comment on my page. fb facilitates this with their "so and so did so and so" in the feed. Too invasive.
- DeusExMachina 16y ago
  But this thing is customizable, albeit not very easily. An example on how I use Facebook: I created a list of friends that are able to see my wall. It is a sort of a whitelist. If you ask me for friendship and I grant it to you, you just see some albums and the generic info page. I have to put you explicitly in the whitelist to let you see my wall. Even if you are in the whitelist, I still can select what you see: I have a list of people from work, close friends, people who speak a particular language and so on. Everytime I post something to my wall I can decide to which lists it's visible and to which it's not. It takes a little to set up but after that it's easy to manage.
  - aswanson 16y ago
    That's the thing....it wasn't even on my wall. It was a comment on someone else's page who wasn't a mutual friend. The link to the comment was deleted and they still found it, probably through fbs "look what x said on y's page " feature.
- Tyrannosaurs 16y ago
  It's a matter of practicality though. Most people don't want to spend their life managing groups and preferences, dictating whether a particular update or photo is suitable for this audience or that - the return just isn't worth it. I'll also suggest that inevitably you're going to mess up and publish things to the wrong group and that you're safer with it as it is. I'm curious about things that you'd not want someone you profess to trust and call a friend to see, but are willing to put on a website which is outside your control which has a history of changing privacy settings with no warning and has shown few signs of interest in personal confidentiality.

aswanson 16y ago

I disagree. All friends aren't created equal, and I don't want certain people hearing certain statements I make. Not that I distrust them, its just where our relationship is. I find it incredibly annoying to see older family "liking" status comments I make on pages of people they don't even know. After I delete the link to the comment on my page. fb facilitates this with their "so and so did so and so" in the feed. Too invasive.

DeusExMachina 16y ago
But this thing is customizable, albeit not very easily. An example on how I use Facebook: I created a list of friends that are able to see my wall. It is a sort of a whitelist. If you ask me for friendship and I grant it to you, you just see some albums and the generic info page. I have to put you explicitly in the whitelist to let you see my wall. Even if you are in the whitelist, I still can select what you see: I have a list of people from work, close friends, people who speak a particular language and so on. Everytime I post something to my wall I can decide to which lists it's visible and to which it's not. It takes a little to set up but after that it's easy to manage.
- aswanson 16y ago
  That's the thing....it wasn't even on my wall. It was a comment on someone else's page who wasn't a mutual friend. The link to the comment was deleted and they still found it, probably through fbs "look what x said on y's page " feature.
Tyrannosaurs 16y ago
It's a matter of practicality though. Most people don't want to spend their life managing groups and preferences, dictating whether a particular update or photo is suitable for this audience or that - the return just isn't worth it. I'll also suggest that inevitably you're going to mess up and publish things to the wrong group and that you're safer with it as it is. I'm curious about things that you'd not want someone you profess to trust and call a friend to see, but are willing to put on a website which is outside your control which has a history of changing privacy settings with no warning and has shown few signs of interest in personal confidentiality.