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I hadn't talked to him in nearly 10 years and without facebook I likely never would have again. What does this tell you about the real strength of this friends

I hadn't talked to him in nearly 10 years and without facebook I likely never would have again. What does this tell you about the real strength of this friendship? I don't mean to pick on you; I hear this argument a lot and I don't understand it. A really good friendship would have found a way to stay alive over 10 years with or without Facebook.

parbo 16y ago
They probably moved to different cities, and your argument could be made for any of the technologies that held friends together before Facebook. If they were really friends they would have stayed friends without the crutch of the telephone, letters, smoke signals or other communication technologies. Are pen pals not really friends because they use a certain messaging technology to stay together?
IsaacL 16y ago
"A really good friendship would have found a way to stay alive over 10 years with or without Facebook." That's true, and I certainly have friends that I intend to stay in touch with for many years to come, Facebook or no. Relationships fall into concentric circles though; there's acquaintances on the outside that only care about slightly, and there's lifelong friends near the centre. Somewhere in between are people that you would certainly talk to if you ever ran into them at random, but wouldn't make much of an effort to stay in touch otherwise. Facebook is ideal for these kind of relationships, because the semi-public nature of wall posts keeps things casual (letters and emails feel very intimate, and it can be strange sending a long "hey, what's up?" message to someone you don't know that well). There's also the fact that you can see their recent activities and photographs, giving you an easy conversational opener ("I saw you visited x/did y/know z, how was it?"). I think it was quite carefully designed to afford such interaction styles.

parbo 16y ago

They probably moved to different cities, and your argument could be made for any of the technologies that held friends together before Facebook. If they were really friends they would have stayed friends without the crutch of the telephone, letters, smoke signals or other communication technologies. Are pen pals not really friends because they use a certain messaging technology to stay together?

IsaacL 16y ago

"A really good friendship would have found a way to stay alive over 10 years with or without Facebook." That's true, and I certainly have friends that I intend to stay in touch with for many years to come, Facebook or no. Relationships fall into concentric circles though; there's acquaintances on the outside that only care about slightly, and there's lifelong friends near the centre. Somewhere in between are people that you would certainly talk to if you ever ran into them at random, but wouldn't make much of an effort to stay in touch otherwise. Facebook is ideal for these kind of relationships, because the semi-public nature of wall posts keeps things casual (letters and emails feel very intimate, and it can be strange sending a long "hey, what's up?" message to someone you don't know that well). There's also the fact that you can see their recent activities and photographs, giving you an easy conversational opener ("I saw you visited x/did y/know z, how was it?"). I think it was quite carefully designed to afford such interaction styles.