The skeptic in me is very wary of romanticizing the campfire model. For me it has generated a lot of short term happiness but very few lasting, deeply committed

The skeptic in me is very wary of romanticizing the campfire model. For me it has generated a lot of short term happiness but very few lasting, deeply committed relationships. And if you look at human history, this model is the exception, not the norm; virtually all civilizations across time have relied primarily on enduring family networks for support. In the past couple hundred years workplace and university networks have become sources of enduring relationships as well. We have good reasons to believe that these relationships are important to health, longevity and happiness. I would not hesitate to start a campfire and see what it yields but I also wouldn't expect it to yield what truly matters. The modern (western) world provides very little bedrock for people to build a psychological foundation. We argue with our families, our employers can dump us at any time, we divorce our spouses, friends are always moving on or marrying off. Contrast that to the model of multi-generational family based ties which has endured throughout history and I have to wonder, is our society even going to last in its current form? > Sometimes I feel that it can be a lucrative trap to become invested in a single person, and then accumulate expectations that far outweigh the responsible obligations of any friendship. This fixation on the spouse is kind of a modern oddity as well. In many societies past and present, your spouse, your parents, your kids, and maybe even your grandparents and grandkids are all of roughly equal importance.