I had a relatively normal, good childhood until I lost a parent to cancer (shortly after discovering she had brain tumors) at eleven years old. I am now 29, an

I had a relatively normal, good childhood until I lost a parent to cancer (shortly after discovering she had brain tumors) at eleven years old. I am now 29, and for all intents and purposes believe to have overcome the grief and able to talk normally about my mother, etc. although of course it is still sad and I can go to that crying-space, if I focus in on it. I don’t blame anyone for what happened although it was sudden and tragic. I do recognize there are things I may not have learned and I missed out on a mother’s love and nurturing from 11 years old until now (and for the rest of my life). My dad was often traveling and not a huge presence in my teens, either, so a lot of the burden of emotional support was transferred to my older brothers and a close family friend. I do not blame my father for this; he worked his ass off to provide for our family and it just so happened that his work (oil and gas) required lots and lots of travel and he would not have been able to provide the same lifestyle for his children without being away most of the time working internationally. All of this on one hand has made me a much more independent person and I learned to do things for myself that my friends in university had their parents doing... it seemed silly how 18-22yr olds had parents scheduling doctor appointments, taking their cars to oil changes, etc. - stuff that any 18 year old with a brain and money (either earned or given from his parents) should be able to handle on his/her own. There’s a lot more to my story but in my late 20s I started having emotional problems and addictive habits. What would therapy look like for trauma in my case and how can I possibly believe that my childhood trauma is still the cause and root thing underlying all of my troubles? I could talk to you for hours about my mother, she was the most amazing woman and I desperately wish I could have known her longer, but I believe my healing level to be normal and positive. I won’t say the grief or healing of losing a parent can ever be complete, but I do think that one can come to a point where he is accepting of the loss, not broken into shatters when discussing it, and able to move on. I wish I could list the ways it changed me as a person, but that’s probably an endless list. I stopped wondering “what if?” because that’s not a healthy thing to do, but I do wonder what kind of person I would have been if she was still around: would I have gone to the same university? Selected the same career path? Still be single? I’m on mobile and can only see about 5 lines of text at a time, so I’m losing track of the overall arc of this comment, and I’m going to end it here, but if anyone wants to reach out, I will update the email on my profile after posting this.