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Is there anything we can do to stop being lonely? Over the past few months, I have made great progress on developing habits to fight my depression. I wake up v

Is there anything we can do to stop being lonely? Over the past few months, I have made great progress on developing habits to fight my depression. I wake up very early, hike, work on my side projects, and go to communal hacker spaces sometimes. However, I and many others still feel very lonely, it's like we all live in seperate bubbles and can't connect deeply. I have no idea what causes this divide. Have humans always felt like this?

phaedryx 8y ago
Overcoming depression is a real struggle; I'm glad you're making progress.
JohnBooty 8y ago
Sounds like you're doing some great things! > I have no idea what causes this divide. Have humans always felt like this? I don't know for sure but I feel very strongly that the answer is "yes." If I'm correct... for the life of me, I cannot decide whether that's a comforting thought or not! Is it? I make friends pretty easily but it's tough to really make those deeper connections. It takes years. Do you ever hike with others? As I get older I feel like team sports and physical stuff like hiking with friends really brings me closer to them. Something about the shared challenge, I guess? Do you feel that way?
wenc 8y ago
Are you in therapy? It can be very helpful for learning to develop change strategies and coping mechanisms. Depression is particularly hard to deal with alone, and your problems may be very specific.
carapace 8y ago
Arthur: "All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world." Slartibartfast: "No, that's perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that." In all seriousness, the solution depends on the kind of loneliness you want to cure: if it's just social loneliness then you can join a choir or a sports team or a club or something. If, however, you have the deep existential loneliness then you're in trouble. You have to go on a quest of some sort, seek a vision, find a Faith, renew yourself somehow. Sincerity and persistence.
Regardsyjc 8y ago
That's amazing! I think people might have misconceptions over how many deep relationships you're supposed to have. I used to feel lonely that I didn't know enough people who had similar interests or passions as me. Something that helped me the most was learning how to love myself and I'm still learning. I used to hate being alone in my own company. I would have a lot of anxiety. Someone told me to do the things you love and you'll meet people along the way. This has worked wonders for me. The most important thing for me was learning how to be vulnerable, open, and to trust people again. After that it was figuring out what I actually wanted with my life. It helped me realize that I didn't want relationships with people who brought me down and it helped me figure out who I did want to have relationships with. I don't think it takes that many relationships to feel fulfilled. But I do feel that as we get older, we have less room for relationships in our lives, and culture tries to tell us otherwise when it's simply not true. I feel like I've gotten to the point where I can't have any more deep relationships, any additional responsibilities to the ones that I already have. I think deep relationships, the ones that fulfill you, come with responsibilities, and thus you can only have a limited number of them.

phaedryx 8y ago

Overcoming depression is a real struggle; I'm glad you're making progress.

JohnBooty 8y ago

Sounds like you're doing some great things! > I have no idea what causes this divide. Have humans always felt like this? I don't know for sure but I feel very strongly that the answer is "yes." If I'm correct... for the life of me, I cannot decide whether that's a comforting thought or not! Is it? I make friends pretty easily but it's tough to really make those deeper connections. It takes years. Do you ever hike with others? As I get older I feel like team sports and physical stuff like hiking with friends really brings me closer to them. Something about the shared challenge, I guess? Do you feel that way?

wenc 8y ago

Are you in therapy? It can be very helpful for learning to develop change strategies and coping mechanisms. Depression is particularly hard to deal with alone, and your problems may be very specific.

carapace 8y ago

Arthur: "All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world." Slartibartfast: "No, that's perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that." In all seriousness, the solution depends on the kind of loneliness you want to cure: if it's just social loneliness then you can join a choir or a sports team or a club or something. If, however, you have the deep existential loneliness then you're in trouble. You have to go on a quest of some sort, seek a vision, find a Faith, renew yourself somehow. Sincerity and persistence.

Regardsyjc 8y ago

That's amazing! I think people might have misconceptions over how many deep relationships you're supposed to have. I used to feel lonely that I didn't know enough people who had similar interests or passions as me. Something that helped me the most was learning how to love myself and I'm still learning. I used to hate being alone in my own company. I would have a lot of anxiety. Someone told me to do the things you love and you'll meet people along the way. This has worked wonders for me. The most important thing for me was learning how to be vulnerable, open, and to trust people again. After that it was figuring out what I actually wanted with my life. It helped me realize that I didn't want relationships with people who brought me down and it helped me figure out who I did want to have relationships with. I don't think it takes that many relationships to feel fulfilled. But I do feel that as we get older, we have less room for relationships in our lives, and culture tries to tell us otherwise when it's simply not true. I feel like I've gotten to the point where I can't have any more deep relationships, any additional responsibilities to the ones that I already have. I think deep relationships, the ones that fulfill you, come with responsibilities, and thus you can only have a limited number of them.