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I'm not sure I entirely agree. I think it's a bit like saying "steak is not the same as a hamburger" - they're not, but they're both beef and both a good meal.
by iamben 8y ago
I'm not sure I entirely agree. I think it's a bit like saying "steak is not the same as a hamburger" - they're not, but they're both beef and both a good meal.
I think if you define interviewing in the strictest sense, then sure. But personally I find this all pretty applicable. I do far better in conversation (with strangers) when I apply most of this. One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was "nobody cares about you, but everyone loves speaking about themselves". If you can get someone to open up and _start_ talking, and you are genuinely curious without seemingly like you're looking for an opportunity to talk about yourself, in my experience that person goes away with a generally positive opinion of you.
I suppose you could also argue that any conversation with someone new IS an interview - be it date, work, new friend. Ultimately you're checking as to whether you want a second encounter with that person, right?
- scarejunba 8y agoOut of curiosity, have you actually opened with "tell me about yourself"? I imagine most of us converse by trying to learn about the other person, but specifically that phrase?
- iamben 8y agoNo, I'll try it though. After a small talk introduction I'll usually use (the fairly similar) "so what do you do with (/how do you spend) your days?!" - or sometimes "time" and sometimes "_like_ to do with". Generally depends who I'm talking to and what I know already. Asking about work seems to define the direction of the conversation, and some people don't work, which makes it a little awkward. Everyone does _something_ so this gives whoever you're talking to an opportunity to pick what they want to talk about - "I work in marketing" or "I'm trying to get my black belt in karate". Then you just starting picking around that topic and ever so often drop in a short annecdote or story of your own (followed by another question - "has that ever happened to you?!") to keep the conversation going.
- scarejunba 8y agoWhat you describe is how most people do it. "Tell me about yourself" is something else entirely. I look forward to your description of how it goes with strangers.
- iamben 8y agoRespectfully, I don't think it is, and the tone of your reply suggests you assume it'd go badly. Other than being (perhaps) slightly more expansive as a question, I really don't get what the big deal is. It's an opener. I'll happily give it a go and I'm fairly certain it'll be fine. Edit: by badly, I mean badly for me. I'm getting a bunch of downvotes above - obviously this is just my opinion, based on my interactions with people over the last few years.
- shanghaiaway 8y agoI promise you that the people who down voted you have also experienced interpersonal interactions over the last few years.
- iamben 8y agoFor sure. But we all experience things differently, right? Hence being able to debate it. Doesn't make my opinion any less valid.
- ilikehurdles 8y agoI prefer being asked “tell me about yourself” because it allows me to choose to what depth and on what topics I want to open up about. I get to talk about things I find interesting in my life currently to the extent I want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about my job or my company to people at work let alone strangers.
- stephen_g 8y agoIt’s really blowing my mind both that people seem to have never asked this question, or can’t imagine it going well. I find it extremely easy to ask strangers in a friendly, casual way and get interesting responses. Sometimes people don’t know where to start, so it’s good to have some suggestions (say, asking about music they like or books or art or whatever).