>It’s only recently that I’ve started accepting responsibility for that. I can understand someone not wanting to work for, say, a firearm company if they didn'

>It’s only recently that I’ve started accepting responsibility for that. I can understand someone not wanting to work for, say, a firearm company if they didn't like what guns did. But what you're describing is more akin to someone in a steel mill feeling bad because some particular alloy they worked on was used in a pipe bomb. The connection is so tenuous as to be nonexistent. I do hope you are speaking to a therapist about this. (Completely serious, I see one regularly for my own reasons, and it's been a great help over the years. Yes, it frequently does take many tries before you find someone you click with. It's worth it.)