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From what I understand, inability get laid is not the issue. The problem is that these guys believe/know they are top quality in everything except appearance.

From what I understand, inability get laid is not the issue. The problem is that these guys believe/know they are top quality in everything except appearance. Therefore they deserve top quality women, which to them means physically attractive. As these women are not falling over themselves to get with the incel, there must be something wrong with society. So, they rage at society for brainwashing their women to fuck the Chads (their word for men that successfully date the attractive women - which they call Stacy). To me, the whole thing just looks like narcissism.

Communitivity 8y ago
Agreed on all points. For me the most telling part is 'these guys believe/know they are top quality in everything except appearance. Therefore they deserve top quality women, which to them means physically attractive.' That's how I might justify getting the best laptop bought for me at work..it's how you justify getting a possession. Women are not possessions, and that is a concept incels just don't seem to get. The other thing that punches my buttons is that some self-styled incels use bad looks as an excuse, a reason why they cannot get a partner. For many women attractiveness is based on some combination of confidence, success, and how central to your current reality you treat the woman. That's according to a number of studies and based on my personal experience, so YMMV. Looks are a distant factor behind those mentioned above. There are women who are the exception and place looks above everything else as an initial discriminator, but that's true for men too. I think they are in the minority, and I think I've seen studies before that agree, but I don't have the study references at the moment to back that up.
- mcv 8y ago
  Anyone who believes they are "top quality" and therefore deserves "top quality" women, is not in any way top quality. That possessiveness and entitlement does not make them good people, it makes them creeps. And most women don't want to date creeps. I don't pretend to know what women want (I suspect they all want something different), but my impression is that "no creeps" tends to be pretty high on the list of requirements for many women. The solution for the incels here is to learn to recognise their own creepy behaviour and to stop doing that, and start treating women as real people.
  - HappySweeney 8y ago
    From my experience, they believe the difference between creepy or not is simply how good-looking the guy is.

Communitivity 8y ago

Agreed on all points. For me the most telling part is 'these guys believe/know they are top quality in everything except appearance. Therefore they deserve top quality women, which to them means physically attractive.' That's how I might justify getting the best laptop bought for me at work..it's how you justify getting a possession. Women are not possessions, and that is a concept incels just don't seem to get. The other thing that punches my buttons is that some self-styled incels use bad looks as an excuse, a reason why they cannot get a partner. For many women attractiveness is based on some combination of confidence, success, and how central to your current reality you treat the woman. That's according to a number of studies and based on my personal experience, so YMMV. Looks are a distant factor behind those mentioned above. There are women who are the exception and place looks above everything else as an initial discriminator, but that's true for men too. I think they are in the minority, and I think I've seen studies before that agree, but I don't have the study references at the moment to back that up.

mcv 8y ago
Anyone who believes they are "top quality" and therefore deserves "top quality" women, is not in any way top quality. That possessiveness and entitlement does not make them good people, it makes them creeps. And most women don't want to date creeps. I don't pretend to know what women want (I suspect they all want something different), but my impression is that "no creeps" tends to be pretty high on the list of requirements for many women. The solution for the incels here is to learn to recognise their own creepy behaviour and to stop doing that, and start treating women as real people.
- HappySweeney 8y ago
  From my experience, they believe the difference between creepy or not is simply how good-looking the guy is.