5 ms·

How can you work together or respect someone that takes credit for you work? This guy is a snake, it's not about being introverted.

beat 8y ago
Are you sure we're getting a complete story here? The OP is what writers call an "unreliable narrator". We're seeing this through his very emotional lens. It's quite possible the other person did a lot of the "people" work that enabled the code to be written and distributed. In that case, it's a "we", not an "I", and focusing entirely on "I wrote the code", ignoring how it fit into the organization, is dismissing someone else's well-deserved credit.
- unethical_ban 8y ago
  If the OP is an unreliable narrator, then you shouldn't assume the guy isn't a snake, either. I have seen the case you're wary of: a technical, but poorly communicating, employee that resents the success of a well-meaning, less technical but better communicating coworker. I have seen good people like that, and I have seen snakes that pull the "we/I" as in the OP's story.
  - beat 8y ago
    Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity. Generally, I don't see a lot of these "snakes" out in the real world, but I see a tremendous amount of misunderstandings, resentment, and righteous indignation. As I told the OP elsewhere, we're all the hero of our own stories, and everyone we disagree with is a villain. But ask the villain, and they think they're the hero. It's human nature. We don't want to admit that we might be wrong, that the people we disagree with might be right (or at least, the disagreement is not founded in malice). So when I see situations like this, I rarely see snakes. I see misunderstandings that can be addressed with better communication and a good dose of humility.
    - jonbronson 8y ago
      Stupidity and malice can often be two sides of the same coin. I once worked with an individual who shot down a project idea, but then executed it in secret for two weeks before revealing it as his pet project. After confronting him, he initially did not understand why this was deceitful. It took 3-4 conversations before he finally understood and sincerely apologized. He felt he was simply being competitive and that everyone did these types of things.
      - ownagefool 8y ago
        My work buddy did this. I'm pretty sure this was simply because he thought it couldn't be done, and I just put the niggling thought in his mind so he tried and was successful. Weirdly enough he was the introvert and I less so, and I got the promotion. No hard feelings on either end, as far as I know. We all have our quirks.
    - existencebox 8y ago
      Not OP or in this chain, but I'm surprised you say this (Rarely see snakes.) I have nothing to complain about. I've done very well career wise, and have no reason to beef with any of these people. But at the same time, I've concretely seen individuals lie outright, blackmail, threaten, insult, and bully their way to success. That you say you rarely see this makes me raise an eyebrow. I've gone through the "maybe I'm just seeing evil where there isn't any" thought process many times, but after watching multiple instances of negative actors take advantage of others while I was a disinterested third party, I can't but have conviction. People will abuse others when it serves them and they think they can get away with it, and in situations where power dynamics, visibility and relationships (so soft, highly non-fungible elements) drive your career, someone in power can get away with a LOT, even via only subtlety misaligning incentives. Let me be clear, this is not some dominating majority of the population, and one should not start seeing enemies around every corner, but I've seen enough that instructing a junior engineer to watch out for those who would seek to take advantage of them seems very pragmatic to my eyes.
      - beat 8y ago
sailfast 8y ago
To be fair, the OP said whenever the work was cooperative the person said "We", not "I", which I think is an improvement on snake. I'm not saying it's great, but it also sounds like the OP needs to be more proactive about speaking roles in meetings when it comes to value of their practices, why things were done, etc. Now, would I work for a person if I hated them? Nope. Would probably be out of there. In terms of "How can you!?", this stuff happens all the time all over the place and people work together. I think you can work through it with colleagues - it's not easy, but it's important if you think the mission / company are worthwhile. Otherwise, you're just going to dig deeper "into the box" on the credit thing and it won't be a good reflection on your work.

beat 8y ago

Are you sure we're getting a complete story here? The OP is what writers call an "unreliable narrator". We're seeing this through his very emotional lens. It's quite possible the other person did a lot of the "people" work that enabled the code to be written and distributed. In that case, it's a "we", not an "I", and focusing entirely on "I wrote the code", ignoring how it fit into the organization, is dismissing someone else's well-deserved credit.

unethical_ban 8y ago
If the OP is an unreliable narrator, then you shouldn't assume the guy isn't a snake, either. I have seen the case you're wary of: a technical, but poorly communicating, employee that resents the success of a well-meaning, less technical but better communicating coworker. I have seen good people like that, and I have seen snakes that pull the "we/I" as in the OP's story.
- beat 8y ago
  Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity. Generally, I don't see a lot of these "snakes" out in the real world, but I see a tremendous amount of misunderstandings, resentment, and righteous indignation. As I told the OP elsewhere, we're all the hero of our own stories, and everyone we disagree with is a villain. But ask the villain, and they think they're the hero. It's human nature. We don't want to admit that we might be wrong, that the people we disagree with might be right (or at least, the disagreement is not founded in malice). So when I see situations like this, I rarely see snakes. I see misunderstandings that can be addressed with better communication and a good dose of humility.
  - jonbronson 8y ago
    Stupidity and malice can often be two sides of the same coin. I once worked with an individual who shot down a project idea, but then executed it in secret for two weeks before revealing it as his pet project. After confronting him, he initially did not understand why this was deceitful. It took 3-4 conversations before he finally understood and sincerely apologized. He felt he was simply being competitive and that everyone did these types of things.
    - ownagefool 8y ago
      My work buddy did this. I'm pretty sure this was simply because he thought it couldn't be done, and I just put the niggling thought in his mind so he tried and was successful. Weirdly enough he was the introvert and I less so, and I got the promotion. No hard feelings on either end, as far as I know. We all have our quirks.
  - existencebox 8y ago
    Not OP or in this chain, but I'm surprised you say this (Rarely see snakes.) I have nothing to complain about. I've done very well career wise, and have no reason to beef with any of these people. But at the same time, I've concretely seen individuals lie outright, blackmail, threaten, insult, and bully their way to success. That you say you rarely see this makes me raise an eyebrow. I've gone through the "maybe I'm just seeing evil where there isn't any" thought process many times, but after watching multiple instances of negative actors take advantage of others while I was a disinterested third party, I can't but have conviction. People will abuse others when it serves them and they think they can get away with it, and in situations where power dynamics, visibility and relationships (so soft, highly non-fungible elements) drive your career, someone in power can get away with a LOT, even via only subtlety misaligning incentives. Let me be clear, this is not some dominating majority of the population, and one should not start seeing enemies around every corner, but I've seen enough that instructing a junior engineer to watch out for those who would seek to take advantage of them seems very pragmatic to my eyes.
    - beat 8y ago

sailfast 8y ago

To be fair, the OP said whenever the work was cooperative the person said "We", not "I", which I think is an improvement on snake. I'm not saying it's great, but it also sounds like the OP needs to be more proactive about speaking roles in meetings when it comes to value of their practices, why things were done, etc. Now, would I work for a person if I hated them? Nope. Would probably be out of there. In terms of "How can you!?", this stuff happens all the time all over the place and people work together. I think you can work through it with colleagues - it's not easy, but it's important if you think the mission / company are worthwhile. Otherwise, you're just going to dig deeper "into the box" on the credit thing and it won't be a good reflection on your work.