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That also seems a matter of perspective. It is unfortunate in our culture that the elderly are looked down upon, instead of as an excellent source of wisdom ab

by yters 8y ago

That also seems a matter of perspective. It is unfortunate in our culture that the elderly are looked down upon, instead of as an excellent source of wisdom about how not to die early and live a happy life. It seems effort is more efficiently spent in changing perspective in ourselves and those around us, rather than trying to fight off inevitable old age and death.

adrianN 8y ago
Having taken care of someone who succumbed to dementia, I can say with some authority that it's not a matter of perspective. The last years of life are an absolute horror show for a depressingly large fraction of the population.
- yters 8y ago
  It still is a matter of perspective. Should a person who is unhappy and a burden for others be discarded by society, or should society do their best to make the person feel welcome? If society can do the latter then everyone is in a better place.
  - adrianN 8y ago
    You can make people with dementia as welcome as you like, you still have to change their diapers, wake up to their screaming at night and keep a constant eye on them so that they don't hurt themselves or wander off. It's like having to take care of a 80kg baby that doesn't grow up and only gets worse. Add to this the psychological burden of having known this person before their illness.
    - yters 8y ago
      Do you think that if we develop the psychological strength to help people with dementia it will also make us better and happier people? By happy I do not mean the transitory kind of happiness we get from eating ice cream or watching a good movie, though that sort of happiness is important. What I mean is the stronger and longer lasting happiness we get from the confidence of being able to work through difficult circumstances instead of casting off the difficult circumstances. This is because difficulty is inevitable in life, and we will feel happier looking toward the future if we know we can deal with difficulty instead of needing to avoid difficulty. So, knowing we can help people dealing with a difficult affliction like dementia means we can form relationships with less concern whether it will all turn out badly. Otherwise, we will instead tend to insulate ourselves from the perceived hardship, which will cut down our ability to form strong relationships, and strong relationships appear to be essential for human happiness.
- Tor3 8y ago
  Dementia is a terrible thing, I've seen it first-hand more than once - and I'm currently in the middle of two cases. But then again I've also seen the opposite several times, people living to a very old age (95+, and, in a couple of cases, 100+) with all their faculties fully functioning and no health issues to complain about until it was suddenly and quietly over. It's not a given that we all (and our caretakers) will suffer in the end.

by yters 8y ago

adrianN 8y ago

Having taken care of someone who succumbed to dementia, I can say with some authority that it's not a matter of perspective. The last years of life are an absolute horror show for a depressingly large fraction of the population.

yters 8y ago
It still is a matter of perspective. Should a person who is unhappy and a burden for others be discarded by society, or should society do their best to make the person feel welcome? If society can do the latter then everyone is in a better place.
- adrianN 8y ago
  You can make people with dementia as welcome as you like, you still have to change their diapers, wake up to their screaming at night and keep a constant eye on them so that they don't hurt themselves or wander off. It's like having to take care of a 80kg baby that doesn't grow up and only gets worse. Add to this the psychological burden of having known this person before their illness.
  - yters 8y ago
    Do you think that if we develop the psychological strength to help people with dementia it will also make us better and happier people? By happy I do not mean the transitory kind of happiness we get from eating ice cream or watching a good movie, though that sort of happiness is important. What I mean is the stronger and longer lasting happiness we get from the confidence of being able to work through difficult circumstances instead of casting off the difficult circumstances. This is because difficulty is inevitable in life, and we will feel happier looking toward the future if we know we can deal with difficulty instead of needing to avoid difficulty. So, knowing we can help people dealing with a difficult affliction like dementia means we can form relationships with less concern whether it will all turn out badly. Otherwise, we will instead tend to insulate ourselves from the perceived hardship, which will cut down our ability to form strong relationships, and strong relationships appear to be essential for human happiness.
Tor3 8y ago
Dementia is a terrible thing, I've seen it first-hand more than once - and I'm currently in the middle of two cases. But then again I've also seen the opposite several times, people living to a very old age (95+, and, in a couple of cases, 100+) with all their faculties fully functioning and no health issues to complain about until it was suddenly and quietly over. It's not a given that we all (and our caretakers) will suffer in the end.