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Ask HN: How do you cope up with mental harassment at work?

Workplaces, be it big firms or startups, have become toxic environments where many are mentally harassed by a few. How do you cope up with mental harassment at work? Quitting? Complaint to HR? Legal help?

klenwell 8y ago
Had to deal with this once. Very corporate environment. Based on my experience: 1. Talk to good lawyer on the topic. I waited too long to do this but it was the best thing I did. 2. Take detailed notes about any incidents. That was advice from the lawyer. 3. Look for a new job. (I was already looking.) Lawyer advised me not to quit. I didn't but I would weigh any decision against your mental well-being. 4. Don't talk to HR at least not without legal guidance. This was the first thing I did and it was a mistake. It's probably also worth looking into medical counseling if it's taking a toll on your health. I'm sorry you're going through this. Best of luck.
- workplacessuck 8y ago
  Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to find legal help online that can help me. I'm also planning to go to a psychologist.
rajeshmr 8y ago
I faced this once - i prioritized my health over the job, and quit immediately. Needless to say, it was a very bad experience. Zero professionalism. I paid them to get rid of notice and left immediately.
orionblastar 8y ago
It is done to force you to quit so they don't have to pay unemployment. I had it done to me and I complained and they kept writing me up for stuff I never did to fire me. It drove me to a mental hospital and short term disability. The state sided with me because on days I missed work they wrote me up at work for doing all kinds of things. Talk to a lawyer, document record the harassment. Maybe you can fight them in court for harm done to you.
paktek123 8y ago
I have faced this a few times. Firstly I would say who is causing harassment. If its a colleague in your team then maybe a conversation with your manager can have a positive effect. If its your manager then try getting in touch with their manager and explain the situation. If its higher up the chain, director, cto/ceo level, people that can't be fired or disciplined easily then I'd say just give up and find new job. Your mental health and well being are more important.
- workplacessuck 8y ago
  It's my direct manager (who is director/c-suite level) and certain team members close to him. I have tried talking but he stopped my growth!
abledon 8y ago
What are some examples of mental harassment? Snarky comments on codereviews?
- workplacessuck 8y ago
  Snarky comments, especially in public only to me and a colleague who does similar work. Stopping growth by changing nomination to a leadership devp program at work. Forcing me to complaint about the same colleague to get rid that colleague.

klenwell 8y ago

Had to deal with this once. Very corporate environment. Based on my experience: 1. Talk to good lawyer on the topic. I waited too long to do this but it was the best thing I did. 2. Take detailed notes about any incidents. That was advice from the lawyer. 3. Look for a new job. (I was already looking.) Lawyer advised me not to quit. I didn't but I would weigh any decision against your mental well-being. 4. Don't talk to HR at least not without legal guidance. This was the first thing I did and it was a mistake. It's probably also worth looking into medical counseling if it's taking a toll on your health. I'm sorry you're going through this. Best of luck.

workplacessuck 8y ago
Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to find legal help online that can help me. I'm also planning to go to a psychologist.

rajeshmr 8y ago

I faced this once - i prioritized my health over the job, and quit immediately. Needless to say, it was a very bad experience. Zero professionalism. I paid them to get rid of notice and left immediately.

orionblastar 8y ago

It is done to force you to quit so they don't have to pay unemployment. I had it done to me and I complained and they kept writing me up for stuff I never did to fire me. It drove me to a mental hospital and short term disability. The state sided with me because on days I missed work they wrote me up at work for doing all kinds of things. Talk to a lawyer, document record the harassment. Maybe you can fight them in court for harm done to you.

paktek123 8y ago

I have faced this a few times. Firstly I would say who is causing harassment. If its a colleague in your team then maybe a conversation with your manager can have a positive effect. If its your manager then try getting in touch with their manager and explain the situation. If its higher up the chain, director, cto/ceo level, people that can't be fired or disciplined easily then I'd say just give up and find new job. Your mental health and well being are more important.

workplacessuck 8y ago
It's my direct manager (who is director/c-suite level) and certain team members close to him. I have tried talking but he stopped my growth!

abledon 8y ago

What are some examples of mental harassment? Snarky comments on codereviews?

workplacessuck 8y ago
Snarky comments, especially in public only to me and a colleague who does similar work. Stopping growth by changing nomination to a leadership devp program at work. Forcing me to complaint about the same colleague to get rid that colleague.