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A review of this book from Amazon: "Unlike other giants in the field of psychology, Adler did not believe past trauma affects one's ability to be happy in the

A review of this book from Amazon: "Unlike other giants in the field of psychology, Adler did not believe past trauma affects one's ability to be happy in the present. Adler taught the importance of liking oneself, contributing to community, appreciating another for just "being," accepting the fact that out of say, 10 people, one will really like you, two will dislike you, seven will be neutral and the important thing is to be yourself; not try to be other than yourself; concentrate on the one who likes you and not try win over others. Thus the title: "The Courage to Be Disliked." Adler proposed that one is happier and freer if they live"moments to moments, "working on one's own task in life and not doing other peoples' tasks" This reminds me of Victor Frankl and his insights into Holocaust survivors in Man's Search for Meaning. Why do some people survive and others don't. I look forward to checking out this book, thank you for sharing. Shot in the dark, but I've had some traumatic life events, child abuse, suicide attempts, mental health issues, sexual assaults, and more. I've spent years, almost a decade, working through my issues every day. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and what helped, helps you the most?

DoreenMichele 8y ago
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and what helped, helps you the most? 1. Own your feelings. It's okay to feel whatever you feel. There's no correct answer here. You don't really heal while trying to suppress the "wrong" or bad feelings or judge them or whatever. 2. Give it enough of your time, but not too much. It takes time to process, etc. Make sure to allow adequate time for that, but don't wallow. Figure out when you need to move on. 3. Living well is the best revenge. Don't let your past consume your present and future. Set goals. Work towards things you want. Walk away from the drama. Stop and smell the roses. 4. Don't reject the parts of you shaped by it, but don't let it define you either. Steel is forged in fire. I'm okay with who I am, steely bits included. But don't let "This bad thing happened to me" become your entire identity either. Also, don't let fighting against it define you. That's another form of being defined by it and imprisoned by it. 5. "Experience is not what happens to you. It's what you do with what happens to you." (Aldous Huxley) So, you experienced a thing. What you do with that experience is still up to you.
pasbesoin 8y ago
This is perhaps too simplistic. I ran across it on a magnet from a company that specializes in graphic presentations of quotes. Quotable Quotes, I think that company may be called. Anyway, this one has stuck with me, as I consider and try to move forward with my own circumstances. The magnet attributes it to the Cherokee. "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today." It doesn't solve all my problems. But it's a useful reminder; one that is also simple enough to recall at will. It also reads as a useful compromise, to me. Not an admonition to forget yesterday or to "just move on". But a caution not to dwell there, at the expense of the present -- and the future.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and what helped, helps you the most? 1. Own your feelings. It's okay to feel whatever you feel. There's no correct answer here. You don't really heal while trying to suppress the "wrong" or bad feelings or judge them or whatever. 2. Give it enough of your time, but not too much. It takes time to process, etc. Make sure to allow adequate time for that, but don't wallow. Figure out when you need to move on. 3. Living well is the best revenge. Don't let your past consume your present and future. Set goals. Work towards things you want. Walk away from the drama. Stop and smell the roses. 4. Don't reject the parts of you shaped by it, but don't let it define you either. Steel is forged in fire. I'm okay with who I am, steely bits included. But don't let "This bad thing happened to me" become your entire identity either. Also, don't let fighting against it define you. That's another form of being defined by it and imprisoned by it. 5. "Experience is not what happens to you. It's what you do with what happens to you." (Aldous Huxley) So, you experienced a thing. What you do with that experience is still up to you.

pasbesoin 8y ago

This is perhaps too simplistic. I ran across it on a magnet from a company that specializes in graphic presentations of quotes. Quotable Quotes, I think that company may be called. Anyway, this one has stuck with me, as I consider and try to move forward with my own circumstances. The magnet attributes it to the Cherokee. "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today." It doesn't solve all my problems. But it's a useful reminder; one that is also simple enough to recall at will. It also reads as a useful compromise, to me. Not an admonition to forget yesterday or to "just move on". But a caution not to dwell there, at the expense of the present -- and the future.