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No, these are feelings that men actually have, without anyone telling them anything. And this is a perfect example of how people are often completely unsympath

No, these are feelings that men actually have, without anyone telling them anything. And this is a perfect example of how people are often completely unsympathetic with men when we do complain about our problems. I'm not even close to the bottom 10% of men, and I don't feel like I get much attraction from women. It takes a lot of work and failures to even get a single date sometimes. This is a really shitty feeling and is one of the biggest causes of me feeling down. It can really make one feel like a worthless person sometimes.

guskel 8y ago
Men talking about their problems are seen as "whiners" and have various other insults heaped upon them. So they choose to live a life of "quiet desperation" which leads to suicide.
otikik 8y ago
I'm sorry you are having those problems. I was responding to someone who was blaming their problems on feminism without even bothering to google what it meant first. I have no patience for those people. > I don't feel like I get much attraction from women Well I am no expert on that myself, so I can't help you a lot there. I can tell you that the way you phrased it is worrying. Attention (any kind, not just the female one) is not something that is "owed to you". It's not a "right". There are other ways you can look at it: as mutual thing - if you want attention from women, maybe consider paying them attention first. Like, learning what their problems are, and what feminism means. Or see it as a resource, finite and limited. They can only think about so many men in a day. So it is an optimization problem. What would make you stand out? And yes, the physical thing helps in standing out, and so does being rich. Those are not the only levers available though (by all means, do some exercise. It is great for you in any case). Being empathetic helps. Being kind helps. Being assertive helps. Being socially active helps. Those things can be learned if they don't come naturally to you. Heck, just being around women more often than other guys will help (provided that you are not an asshole). Try changing one thing every 15 days, and see what sticks. The worst that can happen is that you live a better life. Don't just complain over the internet without changing anything. In case it helps: I have been married for 7 years and have a child, the "urge" to get attention from women went away in the 3rd or 4th year. I found it quite ... liberating, to be honest. I can't say whether it was due to the fact that I was married or due to reaching certain age (37-ish) though. What I crave these days is free time. Families are like gasses, they expand to occupy all space available.
- vuhepuravi 8y ago
  He wasn't blaming his problems on feminism, he was saying he disagreed with them. I know you are trying to be helpful with your post, but I honestly found it offensive. All I said was that lack of attention from women does actually negatively affect men (contrary to what you were asserting). And from that it seems you decided I fit some selfish, misogynistic stereotype. You assume that I don't listen to women or sympathize with their feelings. You assume that I think attention is a right or something owed to me, when I never said anything even hinting at that. I didn't blame women, or imply that they are doing anything wrong. I wasn't "complaining on the internet", I was trying to inform you and others about how people actually feel because obviously even men don't all get it. And I didn't really get the point about how being married reduced your urge for attention. It's almost tautological. Once you have the attention of a woman, attention stops being a concern.

guskel 8y ago

Men talking about their problems are seen as "whiners" and have various other insults heaped upon them. So they choose to live a life of "quiet desperation" which leads to suicide.

otikik 8y ago

I'm sorry you are having those problems. I was responding to someone who was blaming their problems on feminism without even bothering to google what it meant first. I have no patience for those people. > I don't feel like I get much attraction from women Well I am no expert on that myself, so I can't help you a lot there. I can tell you that the way you phrased it is worrying. Attention (any kind, not just the female one) is not something that is "owed to you". It's not a "right". There are other ways you can look at it: as mutual thing - if you want attention from women, maybe consider paying them attention first. Like, learning what their problems are, and what feminism means. Or see it as a resource, finite and limited. They can only think about so many men in a day. So it is an optimization problem. What would make you stand out? And yes, the physical thing helps in standing out, and so does being rich. Those are not the only levers available though (by all means, do some exercise. It is great for you in any case). Being empathetic helps. Being kind helps. Being assertive helps. Being socially active helps. Those things can be learned if they don't come naturally to you. Heck, just being around women more often than other guys will help (provided that you are not an asshole). Try changing one thing every 15 days, and see what sticks. The worst that can happen is that you live a better life. Don't just complain over the internet without changing anything. In case it helps: I have been married for 7 years and have a child, the "urge" to get attention from women went away in the 3rd or 4th year. I found it quite ... liberating, to be honest. I can't say whether it was due to the fact that I was married or due to reaching certain age (37-ish) though. What I crave these days is free time. Families are like gasses, they expand to occupy all space available.

vuhepuravi 8y ago
He wasn't blaming his problems on feminism, he was saying he disagreed with them. I know you are trying to be helpful with your post, but I honestly found it offensive. All I said was that lack of attention from women does actually negatively affect men (contrary to what you were asserting). And from that it seems you decided I fit some selfish, misogynistic stereotype. You assume that I don't listen to women or sympathize with their feelings. You assume that I think attention is a right or something owed to me, when I never said anything even hinting at that. I didn't blame women, or imply that they are doing anything wrong. I wasn't "complaining on the internet", I was trying to inform you and others about how people actually feel because obviously even men don't all get it. And I didn't really get the point about how being married reduced your urge for attention. It's almost tautological. Once you have the attention of a woman, attention stops being a concern.