> again pointing towards gender expectations as the culprit Well, that's exactly right. In general, I wish we would move away from oversimplified "patriarchy"

> again pointing towards gender expectations as the culprit Well, that's exactly right. In general, I wish we would move away from oversimplified "patriarchy"-based language of "aggressor" vs "victim" (which discourages male victims from coming forward and encouraged a culture of collective victim-hood we are in now, where to really leverage speaking power one must first prove that they, too, are a victim, an ultimately disabling attitude) and move towards couching all of this in the very inclusive and in no way "feminine" term like "gender expectations." Straight men would feel personally attacked less and open to talking about unfair expectations of them more. They won't feel that any conversation about lack of fairness in cultural norms excludes them by default. Women (and people who overall dislike the gender binary) would still be able to voice their opposition to expectations, too.