5 ms·
As an unmarried Young Adult (in the Netherlands) myself I can give my 2 cents about why I wouldn't get married; I've simply taken to heart the advice nearly eve
by flipp3r 8y ago
As an unmarried Young Adult (in the Netherlands) myself I can give my 2 cents about why I wouldn't get married; I've simply taken to heart the advice nearly every senior developer would give me; Don't EVER get married.
- pavlov 8y agoGetting married is fine! Just have a prenuptial agreement. A standard template for your country is probably one Google search away.
- briandear 8y agoUsing any legal document from a Google search is incredibly bad advice. That’s like diagnosing disease from reading WebMD.
- TomMarius 8y agoYeah, basically any senior I worked with said that. And it seems to be working, I'm happy.
- tptacek 8y agoThat is very weird advice. I've been a software developer since the mid-1990s, when I was a teenager, got married at 21, had two kids, started several companies, sold some of them, and getting married is easily the single best decision I ever made. I would like to gingerly suggest that this is a subject for which you might not want to sole-source your advice from software developers. We are an odd lot.
- sjg007 8y agoMarried men live longer too.
- gxigzigxigxi 8y agoSomething something correlation causation
- PeterisP 8y agoAs far as I recall, there were studies showing some causal effect in the behavioral difference of how early things like cancer were diagnosed. In essence, the average man living with a female partner would get a "nuisance" investigated, diagnosed with cancer, and (sometimes) treated; while the average single man sought treatment only when the condition was truly disturbing, and by that time it's too late to treat the cancer.
- stcredzero 8y agoThere are a lot of instances where long married men lose their wives then die very soon afterwards. When there's a correlation of something with longevity and removing the something is soon followed by death, then there's good reason to believe the causation theory.
- barrow-rider 8y agoTrue for both partners -- usually after one dies the elderly widow/widower tend to have ~5 years or less. Some of that is just timing, like if the average age of death per the actuary tables is like 79, and your spouse dies at 80, you're statistically going fairly soon as well.
- postsantum 8y agoMen who die early are less likely get married
- thaumasiotes 8y agoThis is actually a topic that has received a lot of investigation. It's true that men who marry differ, before marriage, from men who don't. But it also seems to be true that marriage has a strong causal effect on male behavior.
- mh8h 8y agoMarried life means you won't do a lot of exciting/risky things. Married men live longer. So do indoor cats.
- mrkurt 8y agoWut. Since I've gotten married I've: * quit a job with nothing else lined up to try and start a company * moved cross country without a place to live * started boxing * learned improv and performed in shows * fostered a bunch of kids * learned to race rally cars In fact, the only thing I've done _less_ of is played video games.
- geff82 8y agoHahaha me too! Since getting married and because of the kind of mental support I got, I quadrupeled my income, travelled the world, got two kids, got boat licensed (together with wife), got ham radio licensed, got a degree, taking flying lessons now (together with wife), start Krav Maga soon (together with wife), start riding motorcycles (together, of course), train playing the piano again, lost 15 kilos (despite the cooking we do), learned a new language (fluent now). And it is really attributable to this strong relationship. Because I get an A/B-test once a year, when my wife visits her home country for some weeks: I get the lazy guy I was before, not achieving much, despite having lots of time. What marriage brings to me is the very long-term view. As far as I can see, I know with whom I will be together and we make plans. I meam, how can you raise even kids without being quite sure that you stick together? Marriage is the very official promise that you try your really best. It is not needed if you feel uncomfortable with it. But for me, very personally, I feel it really helps.
- jerodsanto 8y agoNot really, it just feels longer. (old joke)
- derefr 8y agoPerhaps software developers in the Netherlands have geographically-clustered attitudes about marriage that more closely resemble those of Dutch adults generally (or maybe Dutch academics or trades-workers specifically), than software developers generally.
- sjg007 8y agoYeah cause you guys have health insurance.. ;)
- simplify 8y agoKeep in mind that unhappily married or divorced people are the ones who are more likely to say something about it. I'm happily married. I don't really mention it, and I'm sure others in a similar situation do the same.