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Marriage 101: There Are No Soul Mates

32 points by CraneWorm 8y ago

yosefzeev 8y ago
Having a soul mate does not obviate hard work. A better title to this article might be "There are no "easy buttons" in marriage."
- stcredzero 8y ago
  I was so madly in love with my ex. Unfortunately, we couldn't really talk at all, and in the long term, love doesn't work without communication. My wife is one of the smartest and most rational people I know, flat out. It can still be quite a bit of work to communicate. (The stuff we argue about is the stuff that falls below the level of conscious verbal communication.)
  - poulsbohemian 8y ago
    >The stuff we argue about is the stuff that falls below the level of conscious verbal communication. Since I'm not completely clear on what you mean by this statement, it makes for a wonderful thought experiment.
squozzer 8y ago
I remember someone publishing a book called You Need A Cellmate Not A Soulmate. Maybe I'll buy it.
- HiroshiSan 8y ago
  LOL, worth it for the title alone.
- yesenadam 8y ago
  For marriage is like life in this—that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses. - Robert Louis Stevenson, Virginibus Puerisque, I (1876) Or to give more context: Marriage is a step so grave and decisive that it attracts light-headed, variable men by its very awfulness. They have been so tried among the inconstant squalls and currents, so often sailed for islands in the air or lain becalmed with burning heart, that they will risk all for solid ground below their feet. Desperate pilots, they run their sea-sick, weary bark upon the dashing rocks. It seems as if marriage were the royal road through life, and realised, on the instant, what we have all dreamed on summer Sundays when the bells ring, or at night when we cannot sleep for the desire of living. They think it will sober and change them. Like those who join a brotherhood, they fancy it needs but an act to be out of the coil and clamour for ever. But this is a wile of the devil’s. To the end, spring winds will sow disquietude, passing faces leave a regret behind them, and the whole world keep calling and calling in their ears. For marriage is like life in this—that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses. http://www.gutenberg.org/files/386/386-h/386-h.htm http://www.gutenberg.org/files/386/386-h/386-h.htm Virginibus Puerisque is an essay in 4 parts about love, marriage, communication.

32 points by CraneWorm 8y ago

Having a soul mate does not obviate hard work. A better title to this article might be "There are no "easy buttons" in marriage."

stcredzero 8y ago
I was so madly in love with my ex. Unfortunately, we couldn't really talk at all, and in the long term, love doesn't work without communication. My wife is one of the smartest and most rational people I know, flat out. It can still be quite a bit of work to communicate. (The stuff we argue about is the stuff that falls below the level of conscious verbal communication.)
- poulsbohemian 8y ago
  >The stuff we argue about is the stuff that falls below the level of conscious verbal communication. Since I'm not completely clear on what you mean by this statement, it makes for a wonderful thought experiment.

squozzer 8y ago

I remember someone publishing a book called You Need A Cellmate Not A Soulmate. Maybe I'll buy it.

HiroshiSan 8y ago
LOL, worth it for the title alone.
yesenadam 8y ago
For marriage is like life in this—that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses. - Robert Louis Stevenson, Virginibus Puerisque, I (1876) Or to give more context: Marriage is a step so grave and decisive that it attracts light-headed, variable men by its very awfulness. They have been so tried among the inconstant squalls and currents, so often sailed for islands in the air or lain becalmed with burning heart, that they will risk all for solid ground below their feet. Desperate pilots, they run their sea-sick, weary bark upon the dashing rocks. It seems as if marriage were the royal road through life, and realised, on the instant, what we have all dreamed on summer Sundays when the bells ring, or at night when we cannot sleep for the desire of living. They think it will sober and change them. Like those who join a brotherhood, they fancy it needs but an act to be out of the coil and clamour for ever. But this is a wile of the devil’s. To the end, spring winds will sow disquietude, passing faces leave a regret behind them, and the whole world keep calling and calling in their ears. For marriage is like life in this—that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses. http://www.gutenberg.org/files/386/386-h/386-h.htm http://www.gutenberg.org/files/386/386-h/386-h.htm Virginibus Puerisque is an essay in 4 parts about love, marriage, communication.