Thanks for reading through the comments. I do agree that some sort of "not all these metrics may be applicable to your architecture, please consult an engineer

Thanks for reading through the comments. I do agree that some sort of "not all these metrics may be applicable to your architecture, please consult an engineer" would go a long way. I left a toxic work environment at one point where I was literally yelled at because I was claiming to know our company's situation better than Google's pagespeed tools. Needless to say, that wasn't the only problem with that job... but it's frustrating.