4 ms·

"So if you actually read their profile and send intelligent messages selectively, you'll get responses." In a dream world. I've done that on OKC and have gotte

"So if you actually read their profile and send intelligent messages selectively, you'll get responses." In a dream world. I've done that on OKC and have gotten zero responses.

strlen 16y ago
Have you considered that it's your problem, not the site's? Worked very well for me.
- jamesteow 16y ago
  Yeah, you're right, it is about me. But what do you want me to say? That it works for everyone? A lot of my good friends are photographers so most of my portraits are taken from them. Thus, I think my photos are well executed compared to self portraits taken via mirrors/cellphones. My profile is pretty genuine. I don't aim to be pretentious or egotistical. When I contact people, I usually start up with something that's related to their profile or something that's in common as to help talk about something interesting. Thus, no disrespectful pick-up lines or gratuitous photos. Contacted about... 21 people over six months (people of different levels of attractiveness)? Received like... 1 reply. So, congratulations on the site working very well for you. Really. But, not everyone has such fortunate results despite doing things that are civil and respectful. So when people say, "so if you actually read their profile and send intelligent messages selectively, you'll get responses" well I can say it doesn't always work.
  - FooBarWidget 16y ago
    Maybe 1 reply in 25 is normal for most people.
    - whimsy 16y ago
      It isn't according to OkCupid's exposed stats. Average reply rate to messages sent by males is between 1/3 and 1/4 (varying by age). If you hunt through the OkCupid blog archive, you can find the relevant stats. (I think they were released this year.)
      - jamesteow 16y ago
        Ah. The truth hurts.
        whimsy 16y ago
        http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dati... is the relevant post, I think. It looks like I was wrong about it varying by age. (Maybe that was another post, though.) http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-advice-exactly-what-to-say-in-a-first-message/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-advice-exact... may be relevant to your interests as well.
desigooner 16y ago
I have heard back from at least 5 girls on OKC and gone out with 3 of them at various points in the past year .. again, i might have messaged like 20 odd to get those 5 to responsed but it wasn't a cut-paste job ..

"So if you actually read their profile and send intelligent messages selectively, you'll get responses." In a dream world. I've done that on OKC and have gotten zero responses.

strlen 16y ago

Have you considered that it's your problem, not the site's? Worked very well for me.

jamesteow 16y ago
Yeah, you're right, it is about me. But what do you want me to say? That it works for everyone? A lot of my good friends are photographers so most of my portraits are taken from them. Thus, I think my photos are well executed compared to self portraits taken via mirrors/cellphones. My profile is pretty genuine. I don't aim to be pretentious or egotistical. When I contact people, I usually start up with something that's related to their profile or something that's in common as to help talk about something interesting. Thus, no disrespectful pick-up lines or gratuitous photos. Contacted about... 21 people over six months (people of different levels of attractiveness)? Received like... 1 reply. So, congratulations on the site working very well for you. Really. But, not everyone has such fortunate results despite doing things that are civil and respectful. So when people say, "so if you actually read their profile and send intelligent messages selectively, you'll get responses" well I can say it doesn't always work.
- FooBarWidget 16y ago
  Maybe 1 reply in 25 is normal for most people.
  - whimsy 16y ago
    It isn't according to OkCupid's exposed stats. Average reply rate to messages sent by males is between 1/3 and 1/4 (varying by age). If you hunt through the OkCupid blog archive, you can find the relevant stats. (I think they were released this year.)
    - jamesteow 16y ago
      Ah. The truth hurts.
      - whimsy 16y ago
        http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dati... is the relevant post, I think. It looks like I was wrong about it varying by age. (Maybe that was another post, though.) http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-advice-exactly-what-to-say-in-a-first-message/ http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-advice-exact... may be relevant to your interests as well.

desigooner 16y ago

I have heard back from at least 5 girls on OKC and gone out with 3 of them at various points in the past year .. again, i might have messaged like 20 odd to get those 5 to responsed but it wasn't a cut-paste job ..