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Once upon a time, I used to rage when driving. Then I remember traveling with another person who I consider equally / more passionate and someone cut us off. Th

by SubuSS 8y ago

Once upon a time, I used to rage when driving. Then I remember traveling with another person who I consider equally / more passionate and someone cut us off. This guy didn't even notice and kept our conversation going. Obviously I pointed it out and he was like 'yeah, what're you gonna do about him'. That moment kinda changed my life when it comes to things I don't control / whatever I classify as bullshit - in essence someone else unfairly taking advantage of you. I still am pretty cynical in the sense that I have very low expectations. I strongly believe in entropy and that everything will fail you :). But I use that to temper my disappointment when things/people fail me rather than affecting my general world view: I keep my focus on my stuff and just brush off (or try really hard to) the external effects. Just my $0.02 - HTH

BLKNSLVR 8y ago
(@SubuSS: this is not a 'reply' as such, it's more of an extension of the same as what you said as per my experience of similar) Driving rage, yep, I lived there for a long time. It's one of the specific experiences I keep referring back to when I need to re-evaluate my state of mind. People that cut you off just have no awareness of the world around them, and whilst it's dangerous and shouldn't happen (despite the fact it happens so frequently), it shouldn't affect your emotional state. It shouldn't make you angry and aggressive for any length of time because your emotional state won't change the situation or the other person, it just ruins part of your day - don't let it. The other side of the driving rage coin is that I've made mistakes whilst driving, and in those (very rare) situations I'm glad someone else was able to react quickly enough that it didn't turn into something worse. There's also the familiar driving situation when someone else rages at you for, seemingly, no reason. I've learnt to actually enjoy that because I figure that they're having a worse time than me. Poor angry person letting their emotions dictate their life. Pity is healthier than anger. Expectations are the cause of many an argument. Didn't bring home flowers on Valentine's Day and cop it from both barrels from the missus? Mis-aligned expectations. Assume the worst and anything better is a win :) The ability to self-analyse is key, I think. Why do I feel this way? What caused it? How can I change it next time? Treat the cause, not the symptoms. It all takes effort though, gotta make it a habit.
- mindentropy 8y ago
  I am living in a country where there is no respect for traffic rules. I too used to rage but I have stopped. The realization came when I realized I am helpless and cannot change anything. What I can really do is learn to cope with the madness. This realization helped me a lot to lead a stress free life. I stopped convincing people or caring about them if they are difficult. In life the first priority is myself and then everybody else. Taking care of oneself really breaks your stress away.
- EADGBE 8y ago
  I found that as soon as I expected people to make mistakes driving, those mistakes bothered me much less. When I held strangers to high regard; I was always disappointed. Moving from reactionary to anticipatory made me a much calmer person (in practice, it's hard to fulfill all the time).

by SubuSS 8y ago

BLKNSLVR 8y ago

(@SubuSS: this is not a 'reply' as such, it's more of an extension of the same as what you said as per my experience of similar) Driving rage, yep, I lived there for a long time. It's one of the specific experiences I keep referring back to when I need to re-evaluate my state of mind. People that cut you off just have no awareness of the world around them, and whilst it's dangerous and shouldn't happen (despite the fact it happens so frequently), it shouldn't affect your emotional state. It shouldn't make you angry and aggressive for any length of time because your emotional state won't change the situation or the other person, it just ruins part of your day - don't let it. The other side of the driving rage coin is that I've made mistakes whilst driving, and in those (very rare) situations I'm glad someone else was able to react quickly enough that it didn't turn into something worse. There's also the familiar driving situation when someone else rages at you for, seemingly, no reason. I've learnt to actually enjoy that because I figure that they're having a worse time than me. Poor angry person letting their emotions dictate their life. Pity is healthier than anger. Expectations are the cause of many an argument. Didn't bring home flowers on Valentine's Day and cop it from both barrels from the missus? Mis-aligned expectations. Assume the worst and anything better is a win :) The ability to self-analyse is key, I think. Why do I feel this way? What caused it? How can I change it next time? Treat the cause, not the symptoms. It all takes effort though, gotta make it a habit.

mindentropy 8y ago
I am living in a country where there is no respect for traffic rules. I too used to rage but I have stopped. The realization came when I realized I am helpless and cannot change anything. What I can really do is learn to cope with the madness. This realization helped me a lot to lead a stress free life. I stopped convincing people or caring about them if they are difficult. In life the first priority is myself and then everybody else. Taking care of oneself really breaks your stress away.
EADGBE 8y ago
I found that as soon as I expected people to make mistakes driving, those mistakes bothered me much less. When I held strangers to high regard; I was always disappointed. Moving from reactionary to anticipatory made me a much calmer person (in practice, it's hard to fulfill all the time).