5 ms·

When my mind is idle it will consider jumping off the bridge I'm walking over, or pushing strangers in front of the passing train at a station. I never thought

by lolc 8y ago

When my mind is idle it will consider jumping off the bridge I'm walking over, or pushing strangers in front of the passing train at a station. I never thought I would do any of this, and the thoughts are easy to dismiss. To me, these thoughts were just part of the normal what-if and should-i scenarios my mind plays all the time. I was surprised to learn that some people don't have these thoughts and consider it worrying if I have them. I still think they must have a very boring mind if they never consider anything off the beaten path. But there was a time in my life where I had the recurring image of punching my conversation partner in the face. It was quite intrusive and while I wasn't ever close to carrying through I started wondering what caused it. I had to change some things in my life to reduce this back to a passing idea like before.

arkey 8y ago
It's very correlated to OCD but afaik it's not exclusive to it, it is its own thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought > To me, these thoughts were just part of the normal what-if and should-i scenarios my mind plays all the time. The problem is that sometimes they might become pretty disturbing, as you can see in the Wikipedia article. But then again, the bottom line seems to be: as long as you detect them as weird, unwanted, unnormal thoughts, don't worry too much, it's more common than you think, and no, you're not becoming a psycho.
random_kris 8y ago
hehe this happens to me all the time... Thoughts like let's go off the road with my motorbike, punching someone in face, moral dillemas like go to job but at the same time stay home and just get high.... brains are weird I just hope those thoughts stay thoughts and I'll be able to resist them in future
rocgf 8y ago
I've had these kind of intrusive thoughts since I can remember. I would never act on it and now, after having had them for so long, I am confident enough to play along sometimes if I don't have anything better to do. They are apparently very common and most people will have them, to a various degree. I just see them as weird thought experiments and don't read too much into them.
majewsky 8y ago
Wait, that's not normal? :D
linkmotif 8y ago
I started having strange thoughts like this at some point in high school. I remember the first one: I was talking to my supervisor, a male, and suddenly thought about making out with him. It was really odd because I am pretty solidly on the heterosexual end of the spectrum, or thought I was anyway. After some soul searching I concluded I didn’t actually want to make out with this guy at all, but that I wasn’t repressing myself either. Fortunately I wasn’t raised in a totally homophobic environment so while it was a strange thought that didn’t make sense, I wasn’t freaked out by it like others may have been. At “worst”, I thought, I’m suddenly, out of nowhere, gay. I’ve read about intrusive thoughts since then and it seems like they can really freak people out. It’s weird that you have these random nonsense thoughts, but that’s how it is, at least for me. Every since I have intrusive thoughts every so often. A few times a month or a few times a year. They range from considering jumping off things even though I’m not suicidal, harming strangers who I don’t know, to harming myself or sexual thoughts that aren’t actually characteristic of my sexuality. The mind is weird! It does what it wants. It’s been a real trip dealing with that in life.
- laumars 8y ago
  I mostly get them when I'm stressed or anxious and I put it down to my brain looking for ways out. Eg in a performance review I might be getting a glowing report but if I feel anxious about it (eg imposters syndrome) then I'll start fantasising about smacking my boss round the head with my coffee mug or such like. I think my brain is working a scenario where if I get sacked than I've proven I'm an imposter and thus have no need to feel anxious any more. This is the mild end of the spectrum for some of the thoughts I get too (inc. ones about harming my children). Its horrible. I hate those thoughts but I literally cannot control them. The best I can do is distract myself from them rather than trying to dwell on them but that's sometimes hard to do when some of the more distressing thoughts randomly pop in.
  - lolc 8y ago
    Think of the brain as a pool of subconscious thoughts where only one can rise to the surface of consciousness. To do so, it must be more exciting than the other thoughts also competing for your awareness. The decision of what is exciting depends on your past reaction to such thoughts. If you're excited (even if not in a good way) at the thought of harming your children, it will cause more such images to get through the filter more. Because your brain thinks it's an important thought and needs conscious attention. The solution (and I'm not saying this is easy) is to discard these ideas as not worthy of your consideration. Tell yourself that they are not related to your life because you won't do what they say you could do. There was an article here on HN recently that used a nice analogy to explain the concept: The Chamber of Guf[0]. [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18259656 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18259656
teekert 8y ago
I had a period where I'd picture myself biting some random person in my field of view so hard in the forehead that the skull would split open. Pretty sick, yet I never really worried about it (and never told anyone, just coming out now). Thoughts like "I could drive my entire family and me off this cliff" do instill some fear, actually I'm happy that it does. When I was about 18 (I'm twice that now) I pretty much figured emotions were undependable, rudimentary things we once needed to function. I don't think that anymore, still it is nice to feel bad at the thought of loosing one's family. I may have issues, don't I...
jimktrains2 8y ago
As for the first part of your comment, for me I've always viewed thoughts like that as the opposite side of the coin of "What if this truck beside me swerves? What's the safest way to ditch", "What if a car cam around this bend too fast and jumped the curb? When would I realize it would happen? Which direction do I go? Do I pick up the kid, or push them and where?", or "What if I was bumped onto the subway tracks? Where can I take cover? What do I need to avoid?". Sometimes I take it a little far I think at first, like keeping waterproof blankets in the car ("What if we're in an accident in the winter?") or rotating out growlers of tap water ("What if there is a boil water advisory or worse?"). In the end though, those blankets and water havn't been used for their intended purpose, but have come in handy just having around. Then there are things like running through an airplane crash, as we fly with and without kids a number of times a year, and basically thinking of how to keep calm, where exits are, when to unbuckle the kids, make sure to ask for child life vests if needed, ensure that anything I take out of my bag won't become a projectile and how to secure it properly during normal flight, what is the appropriate way for a toddler to brace for imapact, &c. Obviously they're not great "simulations" as I have no real basis for reality, but in the end I sometimes don't feel like I have a choice in thinking about it -- it just happens. It also leads me down many interesting paths and I've learned quite a bit. I've told a few close friends that I feel like my "special talent" is to figure out what's wrong with everything (both physical systems and protocols, real and digital) I encounter: How will it break? Where will it fail? The flip side of that is also thinking about how to deal with those problems. Like you said,"part of the normal what-if and should-i scenarios my mind plays all the time." I guess I never considered that this wasn't normal/common. It's the background music of my life.
- arkey 8y ago
  I also do that, but without really having any expertise besides interest in the subject, I'd say this is different from intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are not voluntary things, they seem to come randomly and by accident, so to say. You say that all these things you think just come to your head also, but like in my case, I'd think they are consequences of a certain mindset. In my case I would even dare say this is how I've been raised. I see the benefits of observing these details, of having a plan, not only in my day job (I'm a software engineer, and probably most people here would agree that it's very useful to be able to easily go into "what if..."), but also in daily life, i.e. I'm on a hike, what could go wrong? or a better example: I'm one of the Fire Wardens in my office. Believe me, I've run plenty and plenty of scenarios for that in just an attempt to be more prepared for situations that could actually happen at some point. So when you care about these things, you have awareness for them... I guess you end up thinking about them just as business as usual.
anon0987 8y ago
I'm so glad to read other people have this. I get it all the time, some of the thoughts actually disturb me a little, and I always thought I was sick in the head for even having he imagination that wonders there even though I never had the compulsion to follow through.
GatorD42 8y ago
N-Acetyl Cysteine, available OTC, supposedly helps with intrusive thoughts, I take it and haven't noticed a large difference but I'm not aware of any adverse effects. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4423164/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4423164/
- TheRealDunkirk 8y ago
  I'll bite. Google says this is cough medicine. How do you buy and take this?
  - GatorD42 8y ago
    Available on Amazon and I would assume supplements aisle of drug stores. Dose for OCD seems to be up to 2400 mg.
TheRealDunkirk 8y ago
I had a long history of intrusive thoughts about bad experiences I've had. You know, poor decisions, arguments with other people, bad breaks. If I wasn't "self-medicating" with either alcohol or video games (to completely occupy my conscious thinking), I was ruminating on terrible things. My solution was to write about them. It completely changed my life. I just worked through them as they came. It took many hours, and filled dozens of pages. I almost never reflect on these things any more, and, if I do, it's usually in a "proper" way, to consider new lessons about them, and not get bogged down in hating myself about them. As always, your milage may vary.
cube2222 8y ago
Same here, though for me some thoughts haven't been easy to dismiss (especially when I'm lying in bed, trying to fall asleep). However, what helped me immensely, was to start meditating regularly. This led me to being able to control and freely dismiss any thought whatsoever. I encourage anybody having those problems, not being able to fix them, to try this.

by lolc 8y ago

arkey 8y ago

It's very correlated to OCD but afaik it's not exclusive to it, it is its own thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought > To me, these thoughts were just part of the normal what-if and should-i scenarios my mind plays all the time. The problem is that sometimes they might become pretty disturbing, as you can see in the Wikipedia article. But then again, the bottom line seems to be: as long as you detect them as weird, unwanted, unnormal thoughts, don't worry too much, it's more common than you think, and no, you're not becoming a psycho.

random_kris 8y ago

hehe this happens to me all the time... Thoughts like let's go off the road with my motorbike, punching someone in face, moral dillemas like go to job but at the same time stay home and just get high.... brains are weird I just hope those thoughts stay thoughts and I'll be able to resist them in future

rocgf 8y ago

I've had these kind of intrusive thoughts since I can remember. I would never act on it and now, after having had them for so long, I am confident enough to play along sometimes if I don't have anything better to do. They are apparently very common and most people will have them, to a various degree. I just see them as weird thought experiments and don't read too much into them.

majewsky 8y ago

Wait, that's not normal? :D

linkmotif 8y ago

I started having strange thoughts like this at some point in high school. I remember the first one: I was talking to my supervisor, a male, and suddenly thought about making out with him. It was really odd because I am pretty solidly on the heterosexual end of the spectrum, or thought I was anyway. After some soul searching I concluded I didn’t actually want to make out with this guy at all, but that I wasn’t repressing myself either. Fortunately I wasn’t raised in a totally homophobic environment so while it was a strange thought that didn’t make sense, I wasn’t freaked out by it like others may have been. At “worst”, I thought, I’m suddenly, out of nowhere, gay. I’ve read about intrusive thoughts since then and it seems like they can really freak people out. It’s weird that you have these random nonsense thoughts, but that’s how it is, at least for me. Every since I have intrusive thoughts every so often. A few times a month or a few times a year. They range from considering jumping off things even though I’m not suicidal, harming strangers who I don’t know, to harming myself or sexual thoughts that aren’t actually characteristic of my sexuality. The mind is weird! It does what it wants. It’s been a real trip dealing with that in life.

laumars 8y ago
I mostly get them when I'm stressed or anxious and I put it down to my brain looking for ways out. Eg in a performance review I might be getting a glowing report but if I feel anxious about it (eg imposters syndrome) then I'll start fantasising about smacking my boss round the head with my coffee mug or such like. I think my brain is working a scenario where if I get sacked than I've proven I'm an imposter and thus have no need to feel anxious any more. This is the mild end of the spectrum for some of the thoughts I get too (inc. ones about harming my children). Its horrible. I hate those thoughts but I literally cannot control them. The best I can do is distract myself from them rather than trying to dwell on them but that's sometimes hard to do when some of the more distressing thoughts randomly pop in.
- lolc 8y ago
  Think of the brain as a pool of subconscious thoughts where only one can rise to the surface of consciousness. To do so, it must be more exciting than the other thoughts also competing for your awareness. The decision of what is exciting depends on your past reaction to such thoughts. If you're excited (even if not in a good way) at the thought of harming your children, it will cause more such images to get through the filter more. Because your brain thinks it's an important thought and needs conscious attention. The solution (and I'm not saying this is easy) is to discard these ideas as not worthy of your consideration. Tell yourself that they are not related to your life because you won't do what they say you could do. There was an article here on HN recently that used a nice analogy to explain the concept: The Chamber of Guf[0]. [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18259656 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18259656

teekert 8y ago

I had a period where I'd picture myself biting some random person in my field of view so hard in the forehead that the skull would split open. Pretty sick, yet I never really worried about it (and never told anyone, just coming out now). Thoughts like "I could drive my entire family and me off this cliff" do instill some fear, actually I'm happy that it does. When I was about 18 (I'm twice that now) I pretty much figured emotions were undependable, rudimentary things we once needed to function. I don't think that anymore, still it is nice to feel bad at the thought of loosing one's family. I may have issues, don't I...

jimktrains2 8y ago

As for the first part of your comment, for me I've always viewed thoughts like that as the opposite side of the coin of "What if this truck beside me swerves? What's the safest way to ditch", "What if a car cam around this bend too fast and jumped the curb? When would I realize it would happen? Which direction do I go? Do I pick up the kid, or push them and where?", or "What if I was bumped onto the subway tracks? Where can I take cover? What do I need to avoid?". Sometimes I take it a little far I think at first, like keeping waterproof blankets in the car ("What if we're in an accident in the winter?") or rotating out growlers of tap water ("What if there is a boil water advisory or worse?"). In the end though, those blankets and water havn't been used for their intended purpose, but have come in handy just having around. Then there are things like running through an airplane crash, as we fly with and without kids a number of times a year, and basically thinking of how to keep calm, where exits are, when to unbuckle the kids, make sure to ask for child life vests if needed, ensure that anything I take out of my bag won't become a projectile and how to secure it properly during normal flight, what is the appropriate way for a toddler to brace for imapact, &c. Obviously they're not great "simulations" as I have no real basis for reality, but in the end I sometimes don't feel like I have a choice in thinking about it -- it just happens. It also leads me down many interesting paths and I've learned quite a bit. I've told a few close friends that I feel like my "special talent" is to figure out what's wrong with everything (both physical systems and protocols, real and digital) I encounter: How will it break? Where will it fail? The flip side of that is also thinking about how to deal with those problems. Like you said,"part of the normal what-if and should-i scenarios my mind plays all the time." I guess I never considered that this wasn't normal/common. It's the background music of my life.

arkey 8y ago
I also do that, but without really having any expertise besides interest in the subject, I'd say this is different from intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are not voluntary things, they seem to come randomly and by accident, so to say. You say that all these things you think just come to your head also, but like in my case, I'd think they are consequences of a certain mindset. In my case I would even dare say this is how I've been raised. I see the benefits of observing these details, of having a plan, not only in my day job (I'm a software engineer, and probably most people here would agree that it's very useful to be able to easily go into "what if..."), but also in daily life, i.e. I'm on a hike, what could go wrong? or a better example: I'm one of the Fire Wardens in my office. Believe me, I've run plenty and plenty of scenarios for that in just an attempt to be more prepared for situations that could actually happen at some point. So when you care about these things, you have awareness for them... I guess you end up thinking about them just as business as usual.

anon0987 8y ago

I'm so glad to read other people have this. I get it all the time, some of the thoughts actually disturb me a little, and I always thought I was sick in the head for even having he imagination that wonders there even though I never had the compulsion to follow through.

GatorD42 8y ago

N-Acetyl Cysteine, available OTC, supposedly helps with intrusive thoughts, I take it and haven't noticed a large difference but I'm not aware of any adverse effects. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4423164/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4423164/

TheRealDunkirk 8y ago
I'll bite. Google says this is cough medicine. How do you buy and take this?
- GatorD42 8y ago
  Available on Amazon and I would assume supplements aisle of drug stores. Dose for OCD seems to be up to 2400 mg.

TheRealDunkirk 8y ago

I had a long history of intrusive thoughts about bad experiences I've had. You know, poor decisions, arguments with other people, bad breaks. If I wasn't "self-medicating" with either alcohol or video games (to completely occupy my conscious thinking), I was ruminating on terrible things. My solution was to write about them. It completely changed my life. I just worked through them as they came. It took many hours, and filled dozens of pages. I almost never reflect on these things any more, and, if I do, it's usually in a "proper" way, to consider new lessons about them, and not get bogged down in hating myself about them. As always, your milage may vary.

cube2222 8y ago

Same here, though for me some thoughts haven't been easy to dismiss (especially when I'm lying in bed, trying to fall asleep). However, what helped me immensely, was to start meditating regularly. This led me to being able to control and freely dismiss any thought whatsoever. I encourage anybody having those problems, not being able to fix them, to try this.