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Strangely, even though your pre-launch copy is an absolute and obvious lie (it can't be the top choice, it hasn't even launched yet) I still feel attracted to s

Strangely, even though your pre-launch copy is an absolute and obvious lie (it can't be the top choice, it hasn't even launched yet) I still feel attracted to sign-up. So, um, well played. I guess it's a sign of how bad the tech recruitment market is that people are keen to throw themselves at vapourware. Anyway, good luck!

lachyg 16y ago
Well, someone told me it was his top choice, so I took his word for it ;-)! But thanks, I did about 8 iterations on that copy.
follower 16y ago
I have to say that copy put me off as well--and I didn't sign up. :)
- lachyg 16y ago
  I don't think it put the above commenter off, as he signed up. Is it the top choice that put you off, or was it that you weren't actually interested in what it is we have to offer?
  - follower 16y ago
    I'm a freelance developer so I assume I potentially factor into your audience in some way. I also encounter people who need developers so am a potential source of referrals. To me "the top choice for entrepreneurs, designers and businesses to hire world-class coding talent" is an grandiose, empty and (certainly this early) probably untrue statement. I don't like to deal with people that make statements like that so it makes a negative first impression on me. It also makes me ask the questions: * "top" Compared to what? In what way? * How do I know the coders are "world-class"? Is there vetting? Guarantees? Possible replacement: "CollectiveJam helps entrepreneurs, designers and businesses to hire coding talent." I don't know enough about your product to be able to say what a reasonable and accurate claim is. :) If I knew more I could probably extend that above to say "...by something something somethinging the something." Then again--I'm not a copywriter. :)
    - lachyg 16y ago
      The thing is, your replacement doesn't instill excitement or curiosity, it's a bit 'boring' if you know what I mean? But you're right, the coders are vetted, and there are guarantees! So I guess it's saying something.
      - follower 16y ago
        Yeah, I agree it lacks a certain punch. But then again if that's the problem when you take the hyperbole out of the copy there's a bigger problem. :)

lachyg 16y ago

Well, someone told me it was his top choice, so I took his word for it ;-)! But thanks, I did about 8 iterations on that copy.

follower 16y ago

I have to say that copy put me off as well--and I didn't sign up. :)

lachyg 16y ago
I don't think it put the above commenter off, as he signed up. Is it the top choice that put you off, or was it that you weren't actually interested in what it is we have to offer?
- follower 16y ago
  I'm a freelance developer so I assume I potentially factor into your audience in some way. I also encounter people who need developers so am a potential source of referrals. To me "the top choice for entrepreneurs, designers and businesses to hire world-class coding talent" is an grandiose, empty and (certainly this early) probably untrue statement. I don't like to deal with people that make statements like that so it makes a negative first impression on me. It also makes me ask the questions: * "top" Compared to what? In what way? * How do I know the coders are "world-class"? Is there vetting? Guarantees? Possible replacement: "CollectiveJam helps entrepreneurs, designers and businesses to hire coding talent." I don't know enough about your product to be able to say what a reasonable and accurate claim is. :) If I knew more I could probably extend that above to say "...by something something somethinging the something." Then again--I'm not a copywriter. :)
  - lachyg 16y ago
    The thing is, your replacement doesn't instill excitement or curiosity, it's a bit 'boring' if you know what I mean? But you're right, the coders are vetted, and there are guarantees! So I guess it's saying something.
    - follower 16y ago
      Yeah, I agree it lacks a certain punch. But then again if that's the problem when you take the hyperbole out of the copy there's a bigger problem. :)