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This is probably true, but I don't know what else to do (counting HN as social media) - I don't really have any friends or interesting activities. Basically go

by yyww 8y ago

This is probably true, but I don't know what else to do (counting HN as social media) - I don't really have any friends or interesting activities. Basically go to work, do work, go home, repeat. Anyone have any suggestions on how I could live a more interesting life and/or have friends? Sorta pathetic to be posting this here but since every other comment is talking out eliminating social media use, maybe some comments on what to replace it with would be helpful.

SolaceQuantum 8y ago
Well, you can begin to develop a hobby and then attend meetups associated. Find a swing dance group on meetup.com that is beginner friendly. Find an outdoor hiking group. Look for community or religious centers (if you’re religious) on coffeeshop ad boards... Friends tend to occur from there, as you meet more people. You could also take classes, make small talk with classmates and eventually do study groups.
village-idiot 8y ago
I recommend a gym, specifically a class based one like a boot camp or CrossFit. These tend to have a similar cohort of people who show up at the same time every week, so you’ll get an hour of exercise and social time wrapped up into one package. Friendship is created by repeated interaction. Anything that has you running into the same people repeatedly will typically create friendships.
graeme 8y ago
Find a hobby you enjoy and do that. Also, fix any obvious flaws, such as poor dress, being out of shape, persnonal hygiene, etc. lastly, practice small talk: when at a store, make a comment to the clerk, try to make them smile, etc The goal is basically improve socialization skills (small talk), remove frictin to friendships (hygiene, fitness, fashion), and then put yourself in situations where you meet people (hobbies). A local couchsuefing group can also be good, if you staet couchsurfing hosting.
andrew_ 8y ago
If you're not already active, get a cheap gym membership and force yourself to go for a few hours a week. I'm not talking about the meat-head bodybuilding sort. You may enjoy it, you'll be healthier for it, and you may meet others there which share interests.
kstenerud 8y ago
Take a job in another country; every day becomes an adventure as you navigate different cultures, different people, different customs, different cities, different bureaucracies, different governments, different foods, different activities, etc. Plus, you become a more well rounded individual. It also gives you valuable soft skills (cultural relations). Many places offer working holiay visas.
- Abutere 8y ago
  That sounds very rough for a lonely person, moving to a different culture. Who considers "navigating bureaucracies" as adventure? Maybe that's why the line at motor vehicles is so long...
posedge 8y ago
You can try solo traveling + staying in hostels. Highly recommmend.
dbeuwhf 8y ago
A lot of the advice here is "find a hobby". But if it were that simple youd have one already. My advice is to be bored. Get rid of all distractions (facebook, tv) and go to a quiet room or on a long walk. Be alone with your thoughts. Slowly forget about work and daily concerns. Where does your mind go when it has nothing else in the way? Hopefully that gives you a clue where to look for hobbies you enjoy. But you also have to make the effort and try different things out. Start researching and go to events. Youre not gonna like all of it and thats ok. And its not always comfortable. Definitely start up a conversation with the people you meet along the way. Friends are important. Theres more to it than i can fit in this post. If that doesnt work, try thinking back to when you were a kid. What were you interested in before you put your life on hold for school and work? I hope this helps yoi in some way. All i know is it worked for me. No reason to feel ashamed. Many people have this problem.

by yyww 8y ago

SolaceQuantum 8y ago

Well, you can begin to develop a hobby and then attend meetups associated. Find a swing dance group on meetup.com that is beginner friendly. Find an outdoor hiking group. Look for community or religious centers (if you’re religious) on coffeeshop ad boards... Friends tend to occur from there, as you meet more people. You could also take classes, make small talk with classmates and eventually do study groups.

village-idiot 8y ago

I recommend a gym, specifically a class based one like a boot camp or CrossFit. These tend to have a similar cohort of people who show up at the same time every week, so you’ll get an hour of exercise and social time wrapped up into one package. Friendship is created by repeated interaction. Anything that has you running into the same people repeatedly will typically create friendships.

graeme 8y ago

Find a hobby you enjoy and do that. Also, fix any obvious flaws, such as poor dress, being out of shape, persnonal hygiene, etc. lastly, practice small talk: when at a store, make a comment to the clerk, try to make them smile, etc The goal is basically improve socialization skills (small talk), remove frictin to friendships (hygiene, fitness, fashion), and then put yourself in situations where you meet people (hobbies). A local couchsuefing group can also be good, if you staet couchsurfing hosting.

andrew_ 8y ago

If you're not already active, get a cheap gym membership and force yourself to go for a few hours a week. I'm not talking about the meat-head bodybuilding sort. You may enjoy it, you'll be healthier for it, and you may meet others there which share interests.

kstenerud 8y ago

Take a job in another country; every day becomes an adventure as you navigate different cultures, different people, different customs, different cities, different bureaucracies, different governments, different foods, different activities, etc. Plus, you become a more well rounded individual. It also gives you valuable soft skills (cultural relations). Many places offer working holiay visas.

Abutere 8y ago
That sounds very rough for a lonely person, moving to a different culture. Who considers "navigating bureaucracies" as adventure? Maybe that's why the line at motor vehicles is so long...

posedge 8y ago

You can try solo traveling + staying in hostels. Highly recommmend.

dbeuwhf 8y ago

A lot of the advice here is "find a hobby". But if it were that simple youd have one already. My advice is to be bored. Get rid of all distractions (facebook, tv) and go to a quiet room or on a long walk. Be alone with your thoughts. Slowly forget about work and daily concerns. Where does your mind go when it has nothing else in the way? Hopefully that gives you a clue where to look for hobbies you enjoy. But you also have to make the effort and try different things out. Start researching and go to events. Youre not gonna like all of it and thats ok. And its not always comfortable. Definitely start up a conversation with the people you meet along the way. Friends are important. Theres more to it than i can fit in this post. If that doesnt work, try thinking back to when you were a kid. What were you interested in before you put your life on hold for school and work? I hope this helps yoi in some way. All i know is it worked for me. No reason to feel ashamed. Many people have this problem.